Another thread got me thinking about this.

It's daunting to lose weight. It sometimes seems so difficult, even if you have found a way of eating like low carb that nullifies much of your hunger. I know, I've been there; I am there.

The thing is, what we don't tend to think about during the difficult times when we'd rather just have the freaking donut and be fat is how hard it is to be fat. I think at times being fat wins because it's the status quo; it holds serve and has the home court. It's the default setting for most of the people reading this board. If we do nothing, we're fat and it seems at times that doing nothing is easier than doing something, even if that isn't really true.

I wouldn't sugar-coat (ha!) the experience to anyone who has 100 or more pounds to lose: it's hard. It's daunting. It is a more difficult thing to accomplish than most people will ever have to do.

But I'll say this: Being fat is harder than losing fat.

On those difficult days, the times when you don't understand why you're plateauing despite the perceived sacrifice, or when that box of donuts seems to be singing to you, or when you feel like it'll never happen, recall how damn hard it is to be fat.

If you're like me and have always been fat, you might not have a thin frame of reference to go by. You might not understand how amazingly wonderful that being normal size can be. I am not thin yet, but I am now the smallest in my adult life, and I can feel the difference. Just when I walk, rise from a chair, or talk to people. I never knew life could feel so much better.

To me, you have to take a balanced look at things. If you're a lifelong fat person, you have no balance because you've never experienced life without fat. Everything was always so difficult. I got winded taking a shower. I got winded walking to the car. Exercise never felt good, like they tell you it was supposed to - it always felt like an injury. Deeper, there was always the feeling that you flat out didn't belong in this world. Things got narrow. People saw you as fat first, a person second. You knew it and they knew it.

On a business trip, I recall sitting down for a drink with a co-worker at Love field and being humiliated by not being able to fit into the booth. I tried, and my gut warped up on top of the table; it hurt. It hurt more that she noticed, and suggested we move to a table. Are those kind of small, constant humiliations worth eating Doritos?

If you were once thin and have gained massive weight, you might know the difference. Having once had a life without fat, you might understand what you lost. You know life is much easier being normal weight or close to it. I never did. I never got it till I got it.

That's what sustains me. The fact that I understand now that being fat is harder than losing fat.

Me, I'm choosing the easier way. It's not easy, but it's not as hard as being fat. If you're a TDCer, you have two hard choices: stay fat or lose fat. Choose the easier!

Bravo Scott!!!

I could not agree with you any more than I am!!

I agree so much it is hard and if I ignore this, it will be only harder. I remember losing so much weight that I felt like I was floating instead of walking, my leg muscles used to carry more and every move I made would lift me up.

Great post, Scott, and so right on. I've added your quote to my daily inspiration list

"Being fat is harder than losing fat."

Deborah

Another amazing post, thank you

Thanks Kyrasdad, your post sort of reminds me why I started doing this in the first place, may help to keep me on track in a moment of weakness.
As a life-long fat person as well, I really never gave much thought to what it must be like to not be fat, your right being fat is hard, why would I want to keep feeding what only brings me down.

That was very eloquent. And you took the words right out of my brain!
I have been a yo-yo dieter pretty much all of my life and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Now that I have had success (not quite to goal but maintaining) I will NEVER look back. Even when the chocolate cake sings its siren song, I will be strong.

Continued success! Your daughter is very lucky to have such an insightful Dad.

Karen in Tahoe

Wow Scott Amazing Insight It Is Exactly How We All Feel But Now That You Put It In Writing We Can Reflect And Be Even More Aware In Our Tough Times Of The Battle Of The Doghnut..

Great post!

and being humiliated by not being able to fit into the booth
This hit home with me! I can remember going to Taco Bell and being astonished that I COULD actually sit in a booth and not touch the table!!! Before LC it was the same for me, I had to sit at a table, and in some cases, the handicapped table with the only real chair in the place! Lots of FF places have the chairs that are anchored to the table, the same distance from the table as the booth!

And what hurt more than the damn table feeling like it was going to cut me in half, was the pain and embarasment to my inner self.

Thanks again for the great post and the reminder of what it was like....I look fully forward to ridding these last 30 or 40 odd pounds...

I never really thought of it that way. You did mention something like that in one of my threads (maybe the one that got you thinking? )

I think that being a fat woman is even harder than being a fat man. (Not that I am taking anything away from your experiences.) Women's bodies are so objectified in today's society that a slim bikini-clad body of a woman now represents sex. Even thin women have difficulty competing with these airbrushed images, let alone 'chubby' women. But being 100+ lbs overweight and having to compete? Impossible.

Speaking as a young, single girl, the fat is just embarrassing. I have been overweight all my life, but did a few diets in high school and lost the weight (but gained most of it back over the years). Now, after recently gaining some weight, I have been avoiding my usual social life. I do miss it, but I am too embarrassed by this recent weight gain (I had a bad year and fell off the LC wagon). I want to regain my life and have fun without the worries of what I will wear or how I will look when I go out.

Thanks for reminding me of how hard it is being fat; how hard it is to buy clothes that I actually like, not ones that just fit and how hard it is to climb the stairs in my house when they used to be no problem at all.

I think if I just remember these things, I can stick to my plan when the baked goods are calling my name. Thanks again.

Kyrasdad,

Well done! I saw this over on the other thread-it impressed me there, and I agree the insight deserves its own thread. Solid `meat,' these ideas--fat is the default. Push the reset button and go back to the Fat Zone.

Bearing in mind that for some of us, weight isn't always static, I also think it's important to not only look back on where we came from, but extrapolate from there where we'd be right now if we hadn't taken the reins and turned the horse. If I had continued to gain at the rate I was packing it on, I'd be approaching 280, 290, or more. And I was finding life pretty tough at 252--What would 290 feel like today? Just standing up would be a struggle. Just hauling my butt out of bed would be an ordeal. And I get to not hurt like that by taking a pass on sugar, flour, rice, potatoes, and milk. How hard is that, really?

That's the secret of success, isn't it? Recognizing that the `freedom' to eat whatever you want whenever you want it is a not freedom, but voluntary incarceration in the cruelest prison imaginable, that of your own body.

Exactly. I won't try to tell anyone that it isn't hard, but I think being fat is a lot harder than giving up these things. It's just that while it's hard to be fat, it's not hard to stay fat. People think about what is right now, not what could be. They default to the fat because it's so easy to do it.



What a great statement. Not much of a freedom, eh!? That 'freedom' is a shackle, really, but because we may not understand that we're making a more difficult choice by eating wrong, even though it doesn't feel like it.

You are so right, Kyrasdad, and if on top of that (being fat and not fitting in a booth) you add arthritis to your knees and can't get up fast and also add arthritis on your wrist, so when you are trying to get up you totally can't, the embarrassment is even worst. At my 310 lbs. I was like that and hated to go to lunch with my coworkers for this fear. I think we all know how hard is to be fat, and we forget sometimes. I had lost 70 lbs. then got depress seeing my daughter eat and eat and eat and get as fat as I was. I regained 30 lbs., but I am at it one more time and have lost 15 so far. On top of that I have so many other health issues that are being treated by my diet that it is silly not to stay on it.

You are an inspiration, I like your phrase "Being fat is harder than losing fat."

What a great way to view things!

Thank you so much for sharing this.

I can relate to the booth thing!

awesome insights!