Ahhh, things were going so well and then winter hit. January was especially rough with snow. So I created all kinds of excuses to not hit the gym after work Well for me personally, gym and diet go hand in hand. If one slacks, the other comes crashing down as well. But if I get one going really strong, the other gets going too. Also for me, I'm much better disciplined with the gym than the diet so....

Anyhow, this past week was spring break, the weather has warmed up to the 50's, I'm feeling more determined. When I initially started back in May, I did so with a friend. Without going into details, we've had a big change in our friendship, she's stopped the diet and gym as well, and can no longer be considered an accountability buddy. Where I was with my life back in May, I needed a buddy to really push me and get me back on track again. Throughout the last few months, I kinda waited on her for "us" to get back on target with the gym/diet and such. Over the last few weeks, I've come to realize more and more that this isn't about her. It's about me. And in order for it to really stick, I need to be doing it truly for me. The accountability and support is wonderful and the people that have been that for me over the years have been awesome. But as I look back, as they've no longer been that support system, things fade away. I've realized that I've never mentally done this for myself, I've never proven to myself that I can be in control without someone else helping me. Yet as I've reflected on that, I've felt much more powerful and in control. Like I'm really truly ready to take on that responsibility for myself.

I've spent 5 of the last 7 days at the gym. I've gotten rid of the junk I allowed back in the house. I've pulled out my food journals again. I'm up about 7 lbs (with PCOS I gain weight back easily and I've been up and down with my carb intake) and I'm ready to get that off and continue hitting things hard this summer when I'm off work again. But this time I'm doing it for myself because I want to do it, to prove to myself that I can have that control in my life. I'm the one making the choices; good, bad, or in between. I can't blame anyone else, or give the credit away to anyone. This time, it's my turn.

So my goal for the remainder of the school year is to get to the gym on Mon/Wed/Sat. To lay off the high carb school food and bring my own low carb. Will I be 100% perfect all the time? No, but I won't allow a slip to turn into 4 months off plan any longer.

Here I go!