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  #16   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 09:43
Cyprinodon Cyprinodon is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 107
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 104/108/104 Female 5' 3"
BF:22%/17%/14%
Progress: 200%
Location: Waxahachie, TX
Default Great Thread

Thanks for asking the question Teri. Karen, JMakeupLC, and others have given me ideas that I will apply in every area of my life. I wish all of you here on this forum represented the majority rather than the cream of the crop. Imagine!
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  #17   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 11:46
DWRolfe's Avatar
DWRolfe DWRolfe is offline
Posts: 6,588
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 468/371/275 Male 5' 10"
BF:
Progress: 50%
Location: Chicago, IL
Post Taking a hard look

You really hit the ball out of the park with this thread, TeriÖ (aww jeez, did I really just use a sports metaphor?) AnywayÖ

For my part, I was LC and lost 60lbs 3 years ago. Then I fell off the wagon and gained 95 back. Iíve thought about what led me back to a carb-laden diet (and I do mean laden) and itís a difficult question to answer.

For sure, I got bored. I didnít stay prepared. I became too confident and stopped thinking about the things I was eating. But those are mechanical reasons that led to my weight re-gain. But what about the real reasonsÖ?

I wasnít lonely and sad when this happened. In fact, I had just entered into a new and meaningful personal relationship with my partner. But as I had done in the past, I immediately got fat when I settled down. I remember that I even mentioned this going in to the relationship; I said ďPlease keep an eye on me because I donít want to get fat againĒÖbut it happened. And hereís why, I thinkÖ

I made my relationship (and re-decorating our apartment) the focus of my life. It wasnít part of a balanced, integrated life, rather it was everything. But at the same time I deeply feared the relationship. My fears of letting myself get so close to another person again (my previous partner died 7 years into our relationship and it took a toll on me) was in full force. Was I building this wall of fat around myself as a barrier to the vulnerability that comes with being in an intimate, committed relationship? Looking back on it, it sure seems possible.

And then thereís that nasty and predictable shame spiral. Iím fat so I donít want to go out so I eat more and get fatter. But I have to go out so I better eat more so that I donít have to be too close to people. More eating, more fat, more barriers, more shame.

Things are different now though. I hit bottom (and made quite a thud) and got myself together again. Iíve lost 110lbs in a year and Iím physically active again. Iím happy, too. My relationship is solid and Iím open and available in every way. Iíve stopped dieting and instead have chosen a new and better WOE. And the positive changes and influences seem to touch all aspects of my life. Yes, bad things still happen and the world remains a very scary place at times. But I deal. And not by eating.

Iím enjoying this transformation more than I can describeÖ.

Thanks everyone for letting me take this much space. And thanks too, for all the wonderful entries here. I think Iíll be reading this thread over and overÖ

Donald
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  #18   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 12:04
Foxeylady Foxeylady is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 64
 
Plan: somersize/atkins
Stats: 172/160/140
BF:
Progress: 38%
Location: Kingston, PE, Canada
Default

This has been so inpirational and thought provoking. Thanks everyone for sharing. Donald it is so true that people kind of give up on themselves when they are in a secure,happy relationship. I read once that humans need adversity in order to strive for something better. That if things are too easy or good we just kind of stop being inovative, as individuals and as societies. Actualy, it was a science fiction paper that hypothesized that if we somehow managed to become immortals (no more diseases) we would stop having children, stop exploring, stop striving and inventing. We would become complacent . Anyway, I'm getting way out there! I am in such a zen type of mood today thanks to this thread!
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  #19   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 12:48
TeriDoodle TeriDoodle is offline
Starting Over!
Posts: 3,435
 
Plan: Protein Power LifePlan
Stats: 182/178/150 Female 67 inches
BF:Jiggley mess
Progress: 13%
Location: Texas!!
Default

Quote:
I read once that humans need adversity in order to strive for something better. That if things are too easy or good we just kind of stop being inovative, as individuals and as societies.
WOW! Does THIS hit a nerve for me or WHAT?!? We can either allow adversity to knock us to our knees, or we can use it to make ourselves stronger and better as humans. We have it within us to take either road....the better choice is made only when we continually seek the Truth.

The secret to finding Truth is in the expression of love and compassion. This community is all about just THAT.

Thank you for sharing.
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  #20   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 13:18
Ruralgurl's Avatar
Ruralgurl Ruralgurl is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 437
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 225/190.5/150 Female 5' 7"
BF:
Progress: 46%
Location: British Columbia
Default Oh Yea!

Hi everyone!
Well I am forty-one and ten years ago I put on forty pounds in about six months. The weight gain at that time was caused by high-carb, inactivity and two ectopic pregnancies back to back.
Now that I know more about my genetics (insulin resistance) and eating habits I realize the weight was inevitable. I was very active in my teens and twenties weight lifting and running etc, but I NEVER lost weight. I did not diet either, but the minute my activity slowed I would put on weight. I did not give it much thought though but my esteem was always low.
Part of my problem also was the carb addiction and pumping out those beta-endorphins ( Potatoes Not Prozac). Thus also causing low serotonin levels (low self esteem and poor decision making).
So anyways I was the life of the party with those high endorphins, although like Donald I did not want to be there. The sugar or alchohol helped me fit in. People enjoy being around that bubbly personality too! Hey it was the eighties!
What I am trying to say is that I believe my personality caused me to be threatening to many women and sexually interesting to most men. When I got married I wanted to stay safe. (My poor husband) I think subconsciously the fat is one big protective layer and YES when the layers start to thin I feel very vulnerable.
Five years ago when I first did Atkins and dropped from 204 to 164 in a few months, I stood in front of the mirror at 164 lbs and said "So what are you gonna do now?" I was concerned about poor decision making regarding my marriage I guess! That is the day I sabbotaged myself, and I have been struggling ever since. Even these few pounds I have lost since January 03, my self esteem is climbing, but I worry about that attention from men, also my husbands reaction to any new popularity. As well as living my life differently.
I have also read some self-help books and one that really has helped I think since the sabbotage at 164 was Co-Dependant No More (M Williamson I believe.)
I hope this does not sound like I think I am God's Gift when I am thinner (I am not), it is not that at all. It is about those sugar highs and lows that I have been using most of my life, inappropriately!!
Yes I still have lots of brain work to do! This forum and the members sure help. Well here goes. Thanks!
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  #21   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 17:04
ChromeDome ChromeDome is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 78
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 292/273/190
BF:
Progress: 19%
Location: Clearwater, FL
Default

Ahh well greetings from the warm homelands, Carianne. How can you LC in such a reknowned carb-centric state?
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  #22   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 17:41
robo-robyn's Avatar
robo-robyn robo-robyn is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 72
 
Plan: CAD-Atkins
Stats: 155/148/135 Female 5'8"
BF:
Progress: 35%
Location: Canada
Default

This is an amazing and inspiring thread. I've been doing CAD properly since the beginning of January, after joining this forum. Before that I was successful on it for several months in early 2002. Then I went on vacation in the spring and slipped and came back home and slipped more and more. After Christmas and a good hard look at the weight I'd regained since the spring, I realized that one can't eat right when one is only doing it halfway, when one is only partly committed (there's no such thing as a partial commitment is there?!).

So, with this in mind, isn't eating right not just a commitment to a diet, to the things you eat, but a commitment to one's self? It seems to be about self-respect really. I'm still trying to fully realize this, of course. I can say it, but still find myself wanting to eat chocolate bars outside of RM, and sometimes doing it, saying to myself, "Screw it, what does it matter, I should be able to eat chocolate just like everybody else whenever I want. I should be allowed to do what I want." But what am I really saying when I say these things to myself? The rhetoric sounds like I'm in control, like I "know myself", but really, underneath those words is a fear of lack control and so-called strength, of not knowing who I am and feeling a lack of worth.

I think Karen is bang on when she talks about the issue of control. And others who have talked about control as well and about balance. I know that when I'm happy and busy with things I love doing that I don't think about what I'm going to eat, but just eat properly (CAD) without stressing out over it. But when I'm down or even simply too comfortable (as Donald pointed out), I tend to focus too much on food, even if it's on the right food. I wish I knew the answers to finding balance, but at least I know that it's possible - because I've experienced it before. How to get it back though? I'm not sure. Sometimes I wonder if it's not just something simple like focusing on my breathing, doing yoga or meditation or just smiling more!
Thanks everyone for being so candid and thought-provoking
Robyn (eek, sorry this was so long)
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  #23   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 18:21
Noni C's Avatar
Noni C Noni C is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 51
 
Plan: General Low Carb
Stats: 143/134/117 Female 5 ft 6 inches
BF:
Progress: 35%
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Default

I lost about a stone when I first went on low-carb and felt fantastic. I immediately went off the 'diet' and I actually ate more carbs than I used to before induction! Why would I do that?? I had this idea that now that I was 'thin', I was one of those thin people who could eat whatever they wanted. Arrogant, deluded - who me?

Well, you can imagine it didn't take long for it all to come back. I learnt my lesson, and have been LCing for 2+ years. Although I do allow myself treats from time to time, I really enjoy the LC food I eat regularly so this doesn't happen very often.

Noni C
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  #24   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 19:05
ptjody's Avatar
ptjody ptjody is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 171
 
Plan: modified Atkins
Stats: 238/212/180 Female 5'4"
BF:
Progress: 45%
Location: Southwest Missouri, USA
Default

Hello...I'm a 41 y/o female that has been heavier...lost 65 pounds about 10 years ago via WW. Slowly crept up to 240 pounds again. My husband, 2 sons and myself started LC last May....and by November had easily dropped 40 pounds. Since the beginning of December I have slowly slid off of the LC wagon and am having a very hard time getting motivated again. My problem is the fact that I am an "all or none" person. When I was first LC I could sit in a room of food that was packed with carbs and I was never swayed...now I have 0 will power.

I need to get motivated and convince myself that I can do it. I think some of it comes from the fact that I have a hard time seeing myself as a smaller person. I was within 2 pounds of making my first goal of under 200 pounds and I have slowly put a few back on. Come on, ME....get with it!!!
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  #25   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 19:12
liz175 liz175 is offline
Lowcarb since 7/2002
Posts: 5,991
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 360/232/180 Female 5'9"
BF:BMI 53.2/34.3/?
Progress: 71%
Location: U.S.: Mid-Atlantic
Default Re: Oh Yea!

Quote:
Originally posted by Ruralgurl
When I got married I wanted to stay safe. (My poor husband) I think subconsciously the fat is one big protective layer and YES when the layers start to thin I feel very vulnerable.


I think you hit upon an important issue for many of us. I know that on some level I like the fact that my fat protects me from being sexually attractive to men other than my husband. My husband, of course, wants a wife who other men do find attractive. I tried to explain this to him a few years ago and he just did not get it.

I come from a family where marriages did not last very long or were unhappy if they did. I also have a personal history that makes me scared of having men find me sexy. I've been happily married for 20 years and I love my husband more than I ever imagined I could love anyone -- why do I worry that would be threatened if I lost weight? I must say that one of the things that is keeping me going is that I keep telling myself that I am 45 years old, and therefore, even if I lose all this weight, most men are unlikely to find me sexy.

I'm not at the point where I really have to deal with this yet, but I expect I will at some time in the next year or so. The whole idea scares me, but I think that by facing up to it I will not let it sabotage me. I am prepared to get counseling about this if necessary; I will not let it stop me from getting thin.
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  #26   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 19:22
TeriDoodle TeriDoodle is offline
Starting Over!
Posts: 3,435
 
Plan: Protein Power LifePlan
Stats: 182/178/150 Female 67 inches
BF:Jiggley mess
Progress: 13%
Location: Texas!!
Default

I have to admit something that's along these same lines... It's hard to explain,though. Whenever I see a new number on the scale, especially recently, my initial reaction is excitement!! But there's another part of me that is sad for some reason. It's only a fleeting feeling, because I immediately dismiss it as being ridiculous....but it's there somewhere. It's got to be connected to a feeling of vulnerability somehow....but I never would have guessed I could feel that way. How can you work so hard to make it go away, and then be sad when it does??? Am I THAT attached to it? Am/Was I really using it as a buffer of some sort? I'm so ....CRANKY....when I'm 180#...I hated it with a passion!!... so why am I sad when it goes? Definitely worth pondering.
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  #27   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 20:20
kimberlina's Avatar
kimberlina kimberlina is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 497
 
Plan: atkins
Stats: 168/158/148 Female 5'4"
BF:no clue!
Progress: 50%
Location: Ohio
Default

awesome testamonies!

been there done that! started 5 years ago at 208, dieted lowfat and exercised 6 times a week, sometimes twice a day. then gained back 18 from just enjoying the holidays! played around with eat when you are hungry diet.......then found low carb at 168. was down to 148 last christmas, then BOOM! gained back 12! i guess i never really got the concept that this is a way of eating for LIFE and honestly i have never felt better!

so.......downwards we go again. FOR GOOD!
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  #28   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 21:07
gtarent gtarent is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 71
 
Plan: Eades
Stats: 278/236/181
BF:44%/33%/14%
Progress: 43%
Lightbulb

My first post on this board was myself questioning how I let myself fall back into my old way of eating. I have actually lost 50+ lbs twice only to regain all the weight. My first "fall" occurred because I believed the low carb lifestyle was causing kidney stones. I believe my second fall occurred for two reasons. The first being the ease I was losing the weight. I was averaging 15 lbs/month eating between 30-40 carbs a day. I think the knowledge that I could "cheat" on a weekend and still manage to lose weight over the week made small temptations easier to accept. Soon weekend "cheats" turned to week cheats, and so on. I also stopped tracking my progress (or regression) My self image was always of my new thinner version, or at least close to it. Until one day my clothes started to not fit anymore, and when I did get on the scale I can still remember the sense of bewilderment that I once again weighed so much.
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  #29   ^
Old Thu, Jan-30-03, 22:49
Carianne's Avatar
Carianne Carianne is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 669
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 234/245/145 Female 5'7"
BF:99%I'm pretty sure
Progress: -12%
Location: rural Florida
Default

Quote:
the knowledge that I could "cheat" on a weekend and still manage to lose weight over the week made small temptations easier to accept. Soon weekend "cheats" turned to week cheats, and so on. I also stopped tracking my progress (or regression) My self image was always of my new thinner version,

That's exactly what happned to me too the last few months.

A wake up call I had recently, like 2 weeks ago, was that I thought I had done so good, losing almost 40 pounds and if anyone in my family hasn't seen me then surely they've heard about it. But I went to visit my sister in Phoenix and brought my video camera to record HER. She wanted to record me to, so I let her thinking I'd just erase it later! When I saw that tape I was amazed that I was STILL FAT! That all that work to get 40 pounds off was seemingly for nothing and I wasn't as thin as my mind's eye saw. hmmmm.

I just watched that tape again tonight and...I didn't erase it. I'll watch it again if I have to. I just keep thinking, there's the girl with the cute face, pretty eyes and .....fat body! eeeesh.

. Whenever I see a new number on the scale, especially recently, my initial reaction is excitement!! But there's another part of me that is sad for some reason.


Teri, I get a "weird" feeling too, but I never equated it to sadness that the weight is gone. It's more that I don't trust myself to keep it off and a fear that I'll have to look at that same number again some day as the scale climbs back up. I want to peel the numbers off the scale dial once they've gone out of sight - like to say they can't be used again once they've been passed on the downslide!

I kind of don't trust myself again, I've been on induction now since Sunday and it's going as good as it did when I first started in July. I feel focused and I'm not allowing any funky foods, trying to be really careful of craving causing foods for me. But I feel like I'm living life on the edge waiting to fall off, waiting for permission to eat some sugar. Just writing it makes me think, hmmm, a brownie, that sounds good. For tonight though, I won't. I'm signing off right now and I'm going to watch Jay Leno, have some water, and read for a few minutes. I love this thread!

Last edited by Carianne : Thu, Jan-30-03 at 22:51.
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  #30   ^
Old Fri, Jan-31-03, 01:37
Karen's Avatar
Karen Karen is offline
Forum Founder
Posts: 12,775
 
Plan: Ketogenic
Stats: -/-/- Female 5 feet 4 inches
BF:
Progress: 100%
Location: Vancouver
Default

Quote:
Originally posted by TeriDoodle
I have to admit something that's along these same lines... It's hard to explain,though. Whenever I see a new number on the scale, especially recently, my initial reaction is excitement!! But there's another part of me that is sad for some reason.


I know exactly what you're talking about. I've gone through different phases of sadness. For me, it was saying good-bye to the old me. It's really hard to do! That's why I'm a huge supporter of the "inner stuff". There has to be balance between the outside and the inside. I was afraid that all my good qualities would fade away as my shape changed. Would I still have presence, be funny, be a role model in my proffession? I was so comfortable with using my size as an anchor as well as a boundary. What would happen?

I still read dessert books and about a year ago I remember becoming overwhelmed with sadness thinking that this was no longer in my life. I could look, make and appreciate the artistry, but that was where it stopped.

Saying good bye can take a while, and that's OK. You have to be patient and gentle with yourself. Above all, you have to listen.

I feel sorrow for people who think they'll lose weight and their life will change. They will be fabulous, sexy, loving, in charge, poised, forgiving, admirable... It goes the other way...change your life and you'll lose weight.

Why wait to be those qualities? They have nothing to do with being fat.

Karen
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