Thanks again everyone. And "feelskinny"...yes, by someone normal----I remember a humiliating moment just a few years back when I was being hit on by a short frumpy old bartender at a graduation party and everyone found it rather "funny." I didn't.

On another note, and to my husband's credit, I made a comment a while back when I started this weight loss journey "what are you going to do when I get hot?" to which he replied "who said you aren't hot?"

I need to continue to change that negative self-talk to positive in my head. It is happening, just slowly, and almost with reserve, but I am forcing it along and it is getting easier. SOme days are beter than others.

Now to continue my quest to get to onederland. What is strange/weird is that that thought is met with a sense of fear AND cynicism, I doubt myself and my ability to get there even though I have come this far. Why? Why can't I envision myself in a thinner body? I am working through all the "issues"...ending the toxic relationship with my mother and trying to fix my alcoholic brother, the realization that I don't have an extended family that most people have and dealing with those feelings of emptiness/lonliness (especially around the holidays)...facing all of those issues and more has allowed me to break the cycle of emotional eating and I know I don't eat half as much as I used to. But yet there is still that barrier that needs worked on and tended to each and every day. I have a feeling it is going to be a daily and life long battle to win this. So far so good, and one day, one pound at a time, I guess!

Sorry this turned more into a therapy session or journal entry, but as my 10 year old daughter says (and I envy her for having this healthy attitude!) "I HAD TO GET MY FEELINGS OUT!!!" LOL!

Have a great weekend everyone. ) Mel