I could just cry. I think it's OBVIOUS that I'm, well, FAT.

Even though I'm tall, I have extremely severe "muffin top" to put it in the words of some of my classmates. I have HUGE FAT THIGHS that rub together whenever I walk. I have a belly that FLOPS VISIBLY if I "run" (you see where I'm going)

Anyway, today a classmate asked if I "would like some chocolate, it's really good"? and I said "no thank you, I'm not eating sugar"

and they said "Oh, really, why, does it give you headaches?" (which I wouldn't have responded to but this particular classmate annoys me with her "maybe you should try X" headache advice-in a nice way, she cares about people)

So I said "because I'm fat."

She said "no you are not!"

and I said "yes I am, I need to lose 100 lbs"

and she said "No you don't!" and asked another classmate what she thought, who then said "yeah, you're skinny" (oh please, I may have been born at night but it wasn't last night!)

and I said "yes. I. do. guess how much I weigh"

and she goes 135 (HAHAHAHAAAAAAAA, in my dreams)

and i said "235"

and then she goes, "but you're not fat, you're just tall"

and got into how I was anorexic, and I shouldn't lose weight, etc etc ad infinitum.

well s***! Now I've given her another cause to campaign for.

Why the <self censored> do people feel the need to "validate" overweight people? I mean, I AM TELLING YOU I AM FAT, it's ok to say "but you're pretty" or "really? you don't LOOK overweight" but when I am 100 pounds overweight according to the Army and my MD, then don't argue with me! Don't try to sycophantically build up my self esteem and tell me I'm "not fat".

Then she tried to tell me she weighed 130! Yeah right, if she's that heavy I'm Richard Nixon and I was the first woman to walk upon Mars! (she wears tight jeans, slim t-shrits, is short, and complained once about "growing out of" her size 0 jeans! HELLOOOOO, you maybe weigh 105, tops.

I don't mean to sound impertinent to those who have more weight than me to lose, or anything, but WHY do people feel the need to try and convince me I'm not fat?

You and I are the same height! On the one hand, people tell me that I'm pretty, don't need to lose weight and they are stunned when they find out actually how much I weigh -- they normally estimate around the 140-150lb mark. On the other hand, I am constantly aware of my excess fat when it's hot outside and my thighs rub together (this was a big problem for me when I was younger on holiday, as they would get sore), when I sit down and my bum hangs out and my belly flops over, or my belt digs in to my skin. I am aware of my fat when I go shopping for clothes and find that trousers just don't fit unless they are super baggy styles, because my hips, bum and thighs are just too big.

Also, weight issues have been drummed into me since I was a kid -- my mum always asked me if she was fat, and always said to me 'Don't let your waist line be a waste of time!'. My sister had eating problems and went from being a chubby teenager, to developing anorexia. I was thrown into the sweet section of the shops as a distraction whilst my mum went to buy her daily bottle of vodka, but then I was castigated for wanting to eat sugary starchy foods all the time. So, I may be tall, but I have over 25 years worth of fat to get rid of, along with sorting out my relationship with food.

In recent years, when I've been at my heaviest points, my sister always says to me "You're so pretty, and you have such a beautiful face, and you'll be even prettier if you lose weight." Of course I know her intention is good, but it's kind of a kick in the groin. My father also has a tendency to comment on what I eat when we're together. I'll be eating some cheese, and he'll remind me that I'm 'on a diet', or say "are you allowed to eat that on your diet?", or "So you've been pigging out then?", or "Would you like some bread? Oh no, you can't have that, can you.", when he knows full well that I have a wheat intolerance. I'm not sure what he means by any of this, because none of it has anything positive behind it. I guess it's just his way. I love him, but he's not a great listener, and always has to have an opinion.

Anyway, I'm ranting! But I feel your anguish. Your friend has no idea what it's like to be you, so she hasn't a leg to stand on if she wants to argue against how you feel or what you should eat or not eat. Or, maybe she's completely oblivious to peoples' sizes and it's just not an issue for her?

I wonder if you have a false body image?

I'm shorter than you but I wear a 16 (loose) on the bottom, a 12 on the top. When people hear what I weigh they are shocked. So many people are poor judges of weight. Who cares what the scale says anyway? It's all about how the clothes fit and your health.

Take it as a compliment. Obviously, you're looking hot!

Yes, that's true, other people never can figure out what you weigh - I use that to my advantage. Just knowing that they have no idea that I weigh so much is comforting.
I personally find my new woe easier to just get on with quietly and try not to get into any discussions about it.
Yes, it is hard when others offer you something that you have worked so hard on to cut out - I don't know the answer, whether to say yes, it gives me a headache or an allergy. It gets difficult to make things up though and keep track of what excuse you're using. Maybe the answer is to just say I'm just cutting down a bit!
It's funny though how people like to sabotage you - oh go on etc.
One couple that came to stay and we had taken out to dinner said 'oh go on you're on your holidays' it was them that were on holiday, I live here!!!!

ya, the world is brainwashed with the whole 'moderation' thing and 'never eliminate one food group' (totally doesn't make sense) I have a feeling Mr Kellogg et al have done their jobs very well to spread money around enough to make the great unwashed believe them.

I'm the opposite, I go on and on about my woe now to people. i figure I owe it to Dr. Atkins.

You could say that you have an intolerance to sugar... that is what I found out when I saw a nutritionist (along with wheat). Intolerances can clear up after a while, so to avoid any confrontational situations, you could use that as an excuse, but still be able to eat the stuff on occasion at a later stage. I'm sure there are thousands of people who have a sugar intolerance, but don't realise it.

I wondered about the false body image thing. But I feel pretty good about myself. It was like one day I woke up and realised "oops, I need to watch what I eat, these jeans are tight" and when I weighed myself I was SHOCKED to discover I was over 235, when not long (just a few months) before I was 163! I mean, I feel like I'm pretty, and I have lots of friends of all sizes, but I know that I'm overweight, and if I keep down the road I am going I will develop HTN, DM, etc (fam hist.)

I wear 18s-20s (depending on the brand, I'm almost ready to go down a size) bottom and XL on top. Scrubs I'm in men's L on top and ladies XL long bottom

I agree with whomever said that sometimes people don't notice as much on tall people-I really think I hide it well (I don't wear tight clothes, etc)

I should probably actually measure my real height, I suppose it's possible I've shrunk or mis remembered from basic training (there WAS lots of yelling and pushups going on lol)

thanks for the looking hot comment! Looking back I did have on some cute shorts and a baggy hoodie (freezing in the lecture hall) so sitting down not much to judge by.

I guess I can be thankful I have friends who care, even if they are overzealous.

I look at this a little differently -- you said you were fat and fat is an insult doncha know. It's not a description.

Long story, but I was meeting one of my aunts at a house her family owns on a small island in California. My (now ex-) husband and I were walking across the bridge to the island while a lady was walking off the island on the bridge. She stopped and said "You must be Liz" and told me her name. It was my aunt's SIL. We chatted a minute, and walked on to the house while she went to the store. I mentioned meeting her to my aunt and said "you must have told her to be on the look out for a fat brunette" and my aunt about died. She would *never* say that. I asked her why, because fat is a descriptive word but not a character flaw. Her brother broke up laughing -- he'd never thought of it that way and realized how insane it was to pretend a 300 pound woman was anything but fat, or that it was anything less than a primary descriptor of my appearance!

Nice people really have a problem with the word fat, because they know it is flung around as an insult. Hell, I'm fat and I know it but I have found that the word makes a heckuva lot of people uncomfortable.

You can't be fight -- you are too nice!

I realize this doesn't respond to the issue you've raised, but I just wanted to add that when I want to decline an offer of food, I just say, "No, thank you." IMO it isn't really necessary to explain why I don't want what they're offering. In fact, giving an explanation puts the topic on the table for discussion.

Most people won't pursue the topic. Most people don't care what I eat or when or how or why. If they press the matter, I can just say, "I'm fine, thanks" or "I just ate" or some other neutral comment.

Yeah, me too. I try to just say things like: "No thanks" and if pressed: "I'm really not hungry" or even "I have a (slight) tummy-ache". That last one usually does the trick! (And will probably come to be true if I ate what they offered me

First of all, I just looked up the minimum weights for females in the US army and for a female 72" tall, its 140 lbs...
NOT 125 lbs! ...that is underweight by anyone's standards.


Heres the link for verification:
http://usmilitary.about.com/od/army...eightfemale.htm

You, at 6' tall are a bit over weight.....you do not need to lose 100 lbs and when you get to the 160s, see how you really feel there.

As for your classmate, she just may weight 135 and you don't see it as she did not see how you could weigh what you do weigh. Height is a big factor in all of our weights, tall or short.

I think that you need to get your weight info straight first.

I was thinking about your rant....

I think people don't want to know about our pain. They want to deny that we are hurting, or maybe they don't know how to comfort us, so they sometimes tell us fatties that we aren't fat. I can't tell you how many years my mother denied I was fat. It only made me feel more alone and unsupported. I'm sure she thought she was being kind to me.

Sherry

I wish I went to school with "most people" I have tried to just say no before and she harps and harps and harps. It is easiest with her to be short, to the point "no, I don't eat sugar"

Thanks for the link, I actually have that in paper form somewhere.

I have gone back to my records and I was actually 5 9 1/2 in basic, so that is where the 125 came from.

I guess I just got so used to people telling me I looked like I was 6 feet that's what I put in here.

Off to correct it now

wow ilove the military SOMEONE tell me why the BMI doesnt reflect this im tired of docs saying stuff meanwhile the BMI isnt a very accurate measurement it deosnt take in account age or frame size.

hmm when i first read this, I felt like she was trying to sabotage your weight loss efforts. But I didn't say anything, as no one else pointed this out, so I thought I'd read too much into her offer. Now, when you say she harps and harps, I feel even more certain. Why is she offering you her food or chocolate in the first place, time after time..? when she knows you're trying to lose weight.

sorry, maybe I'm way off base here.