Yeah, I figured considering I "bought" a week with BFing that another 4 weeks means I'm right on track. Remember the BFing does affect the timing and then from there who knows...it is such a crap shoot.

And yeah, I know what you mean. <crossing fingers>

Oh yeah, I had forgotten about that. OK......

heehee You said CRAP!

hee hee Oooh, I almost missed that?

(Thinking of Family Guy episode when Lois says "Big meet" <giggle>)

Hi all! I thought I'd post on this board about how things are going.

It's rough! I'm always tired. For some reason, I just thought Max was going to be an easy baby and not really cry. Braydee was a very fussy and colicky baby, so I guess I just assumed I was due for a calm one this time. My calm child must have been Lucy, and since we adopted her when she was 2, I missed out on the calm newborn period. Max is a bit more calm than Braydee was, but he doesn't love the car and going places, which makes things difficult to get done.

I think finally breast feeding is going better,a little less painful for me. With 1st dd, there was no pain and no trouble with getting her to latch, ever. She wanted to nurse all the time, but that was the only issue. I loved breastfeeding with her. I'm finding I'm not loving it so much this time. My nipples have been sore, and I think it's because of the latch. It looks like a good latch, but I think he's pushing my nipple into the roof of his mouth. I also have some problems with forceful letdown (he gags and coughs) and I am not sure, but I think he may have a milk allergy, so I've taken myself off all milk, I have to read all the labels of everything I eat. I've been dairy free almost 3 weeks, but have seen no improvement in him yet, so maybe it isn't a dairy allergy. At night I dream I'm not breastfeeding, and that I can have dairy products and diet and drink all the alcohol I want. Not that I'm an alcoholic, but it would be nice to have more than a few sips at a time.

He does seem to have pain at times with gas and bm's. I think it may be normal, but not sure. We tried giving him some herbal gripe water. I'm not sure if that works, either, but we are trying it.

To be expected, I'm chronically tired. It's so hard to feed him every 2 hours at night, especially when he nurses for 45 minutes at a time. Does not leave me with much time to sleep. I was so cranky about 6am this morning, I was thinking that breastfeeding was the stupidest thing ever invented. Why in the world would God make the milk digest so quickly? Doesn't God want me to sleep? To be able to take care of the other kids?? Just when I think I'll give Max 1 bottle at night to see if he'll sleep longer, someone gives me a guilt trip about it. It's not like formula is poison, though. Such guilt involved.

Also, my spelling and critical thinking skills are seriously diminished. I can't even plan what to have for dinner.

He's really a cute little guy and we're so pleased to have a son. I think it's just a really difficult period we're going through now. I'm definitely looking forward to things getting better soon.

I know I have a different opinion on this than many, but please please don't let other people make you feel guilty about that. You are a great mom and you are doing the best you can. Like you said, you have 2 other kids to worry about as well, and that, along with all the other responsibilties we have today, isn't easy. Many other moms (me included) would have given up by now-and still have healthy, wonderful kids. I'm not saying that's what you should do, just that if you want to give him a bottle of formula once in a while, go ahead and do it. He's YOUR baby, no one else's (well except your DH, and I'd like to see him try to breastfeed )

Malibu,

What has worked for us (sleep wise) is that I pump and store it in the fridge. After she BF's I pump out the leftfovers. This in turn stimulates me to make more milk. I usually have about 16-24oz of milk in the fridge, and about 24oz in the freezer. (not to mention the milk I throw away at the end of a feeding) I probably BF about 4 times a day and bottle the rest of my milk. I pump about every 4 hours reguardless. (I have the sensitive nipple problem but it is getting better)

I feed her up to about 1 or 2am, get her changed ect. Then I leave a couple pre measured bottles in the fridge for my husband. Then he takes the 0400 and 0700 feeding. He falls asleep early at about 2200 or so. He gets a nice 6hr stretch of sleep in and so do I. This works extreamly well for us as we BOTH get a good solid unbroken chunk of sleep in.

HTH


PS, When you have extra milk stored in the fridge, You CAN have a few beers! I have been craving beer all through my pregnancy. The other night my husband reminded me that I have two days worth of milk in the fridge that will go bad if not used. Why not indulge a little??? So that night I tied on on pretty good I was such a light weight! Anyways, I waited for my head to clear and pumped out the alcoholic milk and pourd 9oz milk down the drain.

I am really thankful that I have found somthing that works for us. It has given me more freedom and less pressure to nurse RTC. Did have to invest in a top of the line pump though. I have the Advent Isis IQ Duo, much better than medela in my opinion.

I'm so glad you checked in here. I quoted you on this because I feel like whenever we talk about how difficult this whole process is/has been that we always feel the need to say "but I'm thankful" in some way. And believe me, I am too. I truly understand that you are and feel blessed, as we do. And by discussing how difficult it is doesn't diminish that in any way, ya know? But I know we always feel like we have to say it, right? Just wanted to put that out there.

And the next person that says "oh you must be having so much FUN" I want to kick! Ask me when I've strung a good set of a hours of true, non-stressful, regenerating-like-it's-supposed-be sleep!

God, do I ever understand what that sleep deprivation will do to you. Oh and the worst is that even though we've gone to formula and there is a chance for me to rest something always seems to happen...I hear Ian cry and I can't sleep (the Mommy feelings just won't turn off) or I feel guilty that Jeff is struggling with him or I'm alone all day and just as he's resting and I'm trying to get stuff done he has a major gas issue, etc. If I wasn't so exhausted and therefore lacking any sense of humor whatsoever I might find the irony of it kinda funny.

Ian gulps formula like they're going to stop making it. He doesn't care about temperature (though I'm trying to keep it lukewarm to possibly help with tummy/gas) and eats WELL, but we have to be so, so careful about moving his body around constantly in order to help expel gas. The thing is, when he doesn't have gas issues he's totally calm and chilling and checking out the world with this intense look of his. And I understand and feel for him when we're trying to work through the gas or BM (which often seems like such a chore even though he's healthy and the BM is soft). I have all kinds of techniques for helping him. And I understand sometimes he just has to cry. I'm trying so hard to be understanding of his needs and work with him, but sometimes it's just so exhausting. I'm sure it's extra hard for someone like me who likes to troubleshoot and solve problems because sometimes it feels like I just can't solve the problem!

To make matters worse, though you'd think it better, I have two grandmas who adore him who only want to hold him. <sigh> But this is a struggle for me because I have certain parenting approaches that I want to implement. I probably sound like a big meanie as my little guy approaches a mere 6 weeks old, but it's important to me for him to acclimate to sleeping on his own, on his back, in his own crib or bassinet. Yes, life is grand when you can fall asleep in the arms of someone who loves you. And don't get me wrong, he has done that plenty and I don't begrudge it. I'm trying to balance the whole "they are only this little for a short time" and the "you can't love a baby too much" philosophies with my own belief in establishing independence. I know everyone thinks I'm loopy but I figure it doesn't hurt to TRY...to start now. I mean, why not? It's the same reason I talk to him all day about what's going on and who we'll meet and what we're doing. And I just read Dr. Suess to him (they say "sing song" is a great format for introducing words to children). I do use the pacifer liberally, but I never shove it in his mouth. I wait to see if he wants to take it (trying to assess, of course, if he's hungry instead but since he eats SO well I'm not worried I'm missing his hunger cues). I basically give him the opportunity to adapt to this world as he will, but without assuming what he can't handle. The only thing I am cautious of is introducing too many things at one time, so he doesn't get overwhelmed and overstimulated.

As you can see, I'm pretty analytical. But I'm also going with my gut too. And when he cries, I always assist him. (I believe in SOME crying and paying attention to what that means, but not in "cying it out".) I've read a lot of different theories on caring for babies and I'm basically taking what I like of each of them (and importantly what seems to work with Ian) and making my own. But wow is it ever easy to second guess yourself!

I could go on and on (and almost did) but I'll leave it at that.

I'm sorry Max doesn't like the car rides. Maybe he doesn't like being schlepped about? I know Ian screams when we strap him in, but thankfully will eventually chill out for the actual ride. I'm assuming he's just not comfy and I don't blame him - it doesn't look comfy!

This took me hours to write because I kept having to stop to check on you-know-who. LOL So I'll finally post this with one question - how do I clean off Ian's tongue? He has a white film that I'm assuming has been from eating but I want to be sure. I have no idea how to clean it off to see (to make sure it isn't thrush). Any ideas?

Oh crap. I totally missed this. Tell me about the guilt! But please, please don't let it stop you from what you want to do. I think Kristie's approach is ideal, but as you know Jennifer and I have done formula. My little man is not so little and thriving WELL. He loves the stuff. I kinda wonder if I could've kept up with his demand, honestly. But moreover, the choice I made was for the benefit of EVERYONE. The bonus has been more than just convenience. More on that later, but just relating to sleep...it allows hubby to take the middle-of-the-night feeding (just like Kristie does). It saves me and it allows each of us a longer stretch of sleep since I take the morning and all day. Yes, I do wake up and still struggle with sleep, but at least I'm resting and lying down and not plain DENIED it.

Well, no matter what you decide, please remember that you and the rest of your family DO COUNT. I'm so sick of people making me feel like a bad mother for my decisions. Motherhood may be about sacrifice but not to the detriment of ourselves! And to be honest, the better off we are, the better off the whole family is...don't you think?

A friend of mine gave this this advice, which I thought was just so on target for balancing your life with that of your children:

Make sure you always distinguish between "wants" and "needs". Never put your children's needs before your wants. But also never put their wants before your needs.

I realize some would argue that Max NEEDS breastmilk and possibly also to breast FEED. But you also NEED to sleep. And you and your family suffers when you don't. The decision is ultimately up to you and you know we will support you whatever you decide.

Hang in there...

IF MOMMA AIN'T HAPPY, AIN'T NOBODY HAPPY!


That is great advice.

I SOOOOOO almost typed that! ROFL And yes, it's seriously true!!!!

Forgot to say I don't know about cleaning the tongue-DD had white stuff on her tongue but it actually was thrush-haven't notice anything like that with the others.

But if it just looks filmy and not a solid white, I would assume it's just from eating.

Lisa, you are so awsome! You are so supportive and encouraging. The world needs more people like you.

I googled this and 75% say to wash the tongue with a wet wash cloth. I can't honestly see a baby cooperating with this. LOL The other 25% use the soft baby toothbrushes or those fingertip slip on travel brushes and brush their tongue. If you do this after feedings it should get rid of this. Everyone says, if its not thrush, which I think we all established, that it is just formula build up. Not to worry!

Hannah has a slight white coat on her tongue. My first had thrush and Hannah's is not nearly as thick and cakey as his. Hers looks like milk residue. Cant be sure though. It has been there for a few days and has not gotten worse. Forgot to ask the doctor about it.
Since I breast feed her, I am really hoping it is not thrush because I hear that it can transmit to the nipples. So far, no problems there and she is feeding great. In fact we just had her 2 week checkup yesterday and she has gained 1lb 1oz over her birth weight. My doc says that babies are usually just getting back to their birthweight by now. Yay Hanah!