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Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
Judy's Success on the Beach**UPDATE 2011**
Posted by Judynyc
Posted Sat, Dec-24-05
Female 5'6"
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
Default Judy's Success on the Beach**UPDATE 2011**



The following is from my journal. I think that it belongs here as part of my success!!
I need to talk about attitude and managing your internal dialog

I read here every day about the frustration that so many go through and I can totally relate...even empathize!! But indulging myself in negative dialog would have been my undoing.....sure I got frustrated and discouraged...it was slow and painful at times.....but I also knew that if I stayed on my plan, that I would be successful eventually....and I was.

When I first started and I had thoughts of my forbidden foods in my head, I would not allow my mind to dwell in the thought of those foods.....I forced myself to look at the food lists of all the foods that I could have. If I had succumbed to my random thoughts of forbidden foods, I would not have ever achieved goal.

At some point I think that we all have to take a stand with our internal dialog and say ENOUGH!!! We do not have to be victim to a random stream of consciousness because most of the time its not telling us good stuff...its testing our resolve. I call it my inner beast....taming my inner beast!! We do have the power to think the thoughts that we want to think!!

Then I sit here and read all the nice support everybody gives to each other when sometimes a slap upside the head is in order!! While support is fabulous and necessary...sometimes all we are doing is enabling another's disease to continue. I think that we can do better than this.

Soon after I joined this site, another member put up a thread in the TDC about eating disorders.......making a general statement that if you are over 100 lbs overweight, that most likely you have an eating disorder. I agreed and was surprised at the amount of anger that the thread generated. Many were defensive and angry because they have diagnosed illnesses that prevent them from being successful.....I get this!! Most people who are 100 lbs overweight, including myself, got to be that overweight because the use food inappropriately. I am one of those people. They call it comfort food for a reason!!

It was not until I faced the truth about my compulsive overeating eating and then delved into therapy to uncover the root of it, I was doomed to stay a morbidly obese woman. Why bother going on any food plan if I could not stick to it? So...I didn't!! When in 1998, my dad passed away, my weight was 210 lbs....I was in OA.....but it all did not last because I needed to eat my comfort food. I gained it all back and decided that I was not going to diet ever again...I was sick and tired of the pain of not being successful and so...why bother in the first place

But therapy revealed to me that my family was the root of my problems. In the presence of family members...I feel very poorly about myself...enough that it had me eating over it...to sooth myself. My last year in therapy was a few years ago. I spent a year with a therapist going over and over the ramifications of estranging myself from my last living relative....my kid sister. I had terrible guilt about this and it took me many months to make the decision final.....but when I did and gave myself distance from her, I started to feel better about myself. I began feeling stronger......and after about 1 year, I felt good enough to start a new food plan.

So I am now totally estranged from my sister...I think of her often but I've got to keep my resolve. I saw her briefly last June and it totally triggered me to eat like I used to eat very bad!! My choice to not have her in my life is the right choice for me!!

I have suffered long and hard....being morbidly obese destroyed my sense of self....I hated every moment I spent at those high weights....it was 15 years of my life that I felt dead.....growing up a normal size girl and being attractive set me up to expect life to be a certain way....I was in for a rude awakening when I was no longer that attractive person. I got sick and tired of being treated like a piece of shit in the street...of being ignored..of being invisible and liking it that way

There was no magic....it was my bottom....it was my time to claim my life back!!



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I want to speak a bit about my experience in phase II of SBD. I was in phase II for about 18 months and actually still eat fairly close to phase II while in phase III.

Heres the big thing that I want to tell you about. I did phase II according to what works for my body to get it to lose weight. I did not eat all that it allows and you can see this if you review my journal to see what I ate.

I know that I cannot eat flour and grains and lose weight. So my phase II consisted of protein, vegetables and fruit and sometimes, maybe 2-3 times a week, I'd have a grain or starch. Our meal plan allows for grains/starch 2-3 times a day!!! Way too much for my body!!

I see so many people make the mistake of jumping to bread as soon as they hit phase II. This is a big mistake in my book!!! Bread,even whole grain or low carb bread, should be the very last thing to add into your phase II. There are many ways to get grain and starch into your diets without eating flour!! Whole grain oats, barley, brown rice, etc....butternut squash, yams, peas...are all much better choices for grains and starch than bread, as you enter phase II!!!

Any flour, even low carb flour, is still processed and should be avoided in the early stages of phase II.

I avoided pizza for 18 months and had it for the first time last October. I now allow myself to have a thin crust pizza once a month.

So my advice is to go very slowly when adding starch and grains back into your plans. Just because the plan says we can have it, does not mean that we should!!

_________________________________________________________________




This is a morph of my journey....230/200/157 were the weights. Its a powerful image and hope that it gives you hope that this can be done.
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Back to losing again and am happy to say that today, 3/15/2008, I've reached the 120 lbs total loss (154 lbs). Next month is my 4 year anniversary of the start of this leg of my weight loss/management journey.
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4/19/09
1 more year of successful maintaining ( 3.5 yrs total)and am now weighing in at 151...-3 lbs since last year. Going to be featured in Womans World this June!!
Its now been 5 yrs since I began this journey...and I have changed myself, the way I eat...and ultimately my life.
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December 18, 2010 marked my 5 yr goal anniversary.
That means that I've been successfully maintaining my 120 lbs loss for the past 5 yrs...without regaining my weight. It is possible to do this as I am proof of it.
no surgery required, only on my attitude!!!
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So here I am, another year of successful weight loss maintenance( 6 years now) under my now 29" waist.
I started doing Pilates twice a week this year and its really making a big difference in all my muscles, not only core muscles. I love it!
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  #4  
by Betsy-StL on Sun, Dec-25-05, 08:33
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Congrats Judy you have done an amazing job.



Merry Christmas,
Betsy
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