Just wondering how you are all doing today..I am concentrating on getting stronger day by day...have tried to keep focused on doing things to make me happy...spring is in the air...time soon to get out and do some gardening and yard work..looking forward to that ....Bonnie

I'm doing my counseling homework and tackling my fears one by one. I have plenty of them to tackle.

Overall I am much stronger than I was when I made my first post here. When I made that first post, I believed my life was over. I have less anxiety and fewer tears now. The passage of time does help with that. Life goes on, and I will be OK. (I think! : -)

Just wanted to stop in and say hello!

Bonnie - Just take things one day at a time. Day by day or minute by minute, which ever it takes. When my husband first left me, I was destroyed and I felt like I couldn't breath. But now I'm a stronger person and I've learned from that experience. No man is ever worth the pain that he put me through in the end and I've learned that I'm the only person I can depend on. I guess in a way I'm a man hater, but not to the point where I don't think I will ever be with one again. The only thing that saddens me now is my faith on finding the "right" one is completely gone. Same with alot of my single friends. They feel that they might have to settle for someone that cheats, because with all of our experiences together, we have never found a single man that hasn't cheated. My husband was supposed to be the one. Small town boy w/ strong church values and parents that had been together for years and years, but it took one night of him being mad at me because I spent more time at my moms than I did at home (depressed) and some alcohol and he destroyed everything. See I have this knack for finding the really great ones, but they turn out to be jerks in the end.Anyhow, I gotta run, but keep your head up. It does get easier over time.

sms..thanks for your words... every bit helps...for the first time in a long time I can now laugh...that is a big step...I know where you are coming from about trust...I have gone out to a couple of clubs with girlfriends and get sick just seeing all the married men try to pick up women...I think to myself...there was my husband for a year and a half fidelity is a big thing with me now and wonder if there are any men out there who value this concept as well...I suspect the men who have been crushed the way I have would be some...I am just going to concentrate on getting stronger and learning to be comfortable with myself and alone... that is the tough part but day by day am getting the hang of this.... Colleen great to hear you are doing better hon...just remember it has to get better as it can't get much worse Bonnie

Bonnie - Sweety that's all you can do! Just fix your life and don't even stress about trying to find someone else. You need to do what makes you happy and not someone else (unless you have kids, cause heaven knows they are everything). I know it's probably not what you want to hear, cause I didn't want to hear that when he left me, but from someone that has experienced this, it does get better. Maybe not today, but it will over time. Focus on the things you enjoy to do and do them. You have to be comfortable with youself in order to be able to enjoy the company of someone else. I still get an uneasy feeling when I meet someone because I'm not sure I'm up for the challenge just yet. I would rather be by myself than dealing with all the emotional crap that happens in relationships. I still don't trust my instincts. I honestly listen for the little red flags that jump out at me when I meet someone and I go from there. I don't want to end up the way I did before. I am alot stronger now and also, I'm alot happier, but I still have my days and probably always will.

Keep your head up! If you ever need to talk, I'm here!

I didn't trust women for several years after my divorce. When I went out, I turned down the opportunity for relationships with married women, plenty of them. I asked point blank if women were in relationships (married or not, you are committed to someone if you live together) before I would party with them and also reinforced the fact that I was not looking for one at the time. If they wanted to have a good time, that was ok, but that was all it would be for the moment. Just be honest, that is the essence of a good person.

BRat

Thanks Bayrat...sounds like a plan to me am taking off tomorrow afternoon with a girlfriend going through my situation...we are off to another city...spending the day shopping and having dinner together and then out to a few clubs for some fun...really need this and am looking forward to it...we have both made a pact that we go together and we leave together and yes honesty is the essense of a good person...well said Bonnie

Thanks so much for your post ...I know where your coming from...don't ever want to go through this again...just too painful...every day is baby steps and I find I do now have hope for the future...some days I just miss someone to hug but know that hopefully there may be someone down the road for me that will give me the love and respect I so deserve...I was a faithful and lovingly spouse to one man for thirty years..for that I can hold my head high with no regrets...Bonnie

Just wondering how you spent Easter hon?...mine was quiet here at the house...son had dinner with his family as he did not know how to handle everything...it was hard to get through the day but I am adjusting to bieng alone...heck I was alone for almost a year when hubby was out galovanting around....a close friend of mine going through the same situation keep in touch daily and go out so she is a great support for me as well as friends and family...hope your day was fine tooo...Bonnie

It was a bad day. I briefly dated someone and we broke up today. I think I'm not ready for this dating stuff yet. I feel terrible.

Sorry to hear about that hon...I had a bad experience tooo when we were away on our trip one weekend....met a guy....treated me like a lady...felt he was sincere...told me he had been divorced for two years...no wedding ring or sign of a mark where a wedding ring would have been on his finger...I met him at a club....we talked all evening...I am very cautious about who I exchange info with thank God...I decided to do some checking on my own as this guy was too good to be true...found out he was married ....he knew that I have come with my girlfriend that night and would be leaving with her so I am thankful I had my wits about me....I will be extra cautious in future and take anything anyone tells me at face value...this experience taught me two things...1) this guy ws 42 and a Top gun pilot...so I guess the ole gal still has it if she attracted someone of his caliber. ...2)...I realize there may be someone out there for me...I just have to take things slow and easy and wait...Bonnie

Are you kidding Bonnie, sorry that happened to you. Many of my "friends" are married and have women on the side (and visa versa). Some are aware of the status of the men (or women), some listen to that famous line "she/he doesn't understand me and I am going to leave her/him soon" or a variation of that crap. Sometimes the best way to hook up is through a friend, at least you know some history that way.

BRat

I kid you not ...this guy had his routine down pat...I really did not need this so soon but taught me a great lesson ...yep you are right...hook up through a friend and you know some history Bonnie

i kniw this may sound like a simple answer but it is the best answer I have. Pray and ask God to give you peace and guidence and he will it is a terible thing but just relie on him he is there all you need to do is ask him for help and he will. Good luck

I could'nt agree more wvmom75.Prayer is what gets me threw the awful times Im going threw.