Active Low-Carber Forums
Atkins diet and low carb discussion provided free for information only, not as medical advice.
Home Plans Tips Recipes Tools Stories Studies Products
Active Low-Carber Forums
A sugar-free zone


Welcome to the Active Low-Carber Forums.
Support for Atkins diet, Protein Power, Neanderthin (Paleo Diet), CAD/CALP, Dr. Bernstein Diabetes Solution and any other healthy low-carb diet or plan, all are welcome in our lowcarb community. Forget starvation and fad diets -- join the healthy eating crowd! You may register by clicking here, it's free!

Go Back   Active Low-Carber Forums > Main Low-Carb Diets Forums & Support > Low-Carb Support Focus Groups > Emotional Issues & Body Image
User Name
Password
FAQ Members Calendar Mark Forums Read Search Gallery My P.L.A.N. Survey


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1   ^
Old Sat, May-13-17, 12:50
walnut's Avatar
walnut walnut is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,876
 
Plan: C:12 P:60 F:satiety
Stats: 220/177.6/142 Female 5'5
BF:0/0/0
Progress: 54%
Location: canada, eh!
Default Book recommendations for dealing with the way that people treat us: before and after

Book recommendations for dealing with the way that people treat us: before and after we lose the weight?? Especially, dealing with unwanted attention from the opposite sex?

From my journal:
Quote:
i remember the very first time i lowcarbed, i got down to the low 140's and was a little freaked out by the amount of male attention i was getting all the time. i couldn't walk down the street without people wanting to talk to me. i'm introverted, and that was way out of my comfort zone.


Quote:
the extra padding is definitely something that people keep because it makes them less visible or noticeable. if you search the interwebs for 'unwanted male attention after losing weight' there are sooo many stories. lots from women who have been sexually abused, unfortunately. the extra fat makes people feel safer, and some people even call it a 'fat shield'. it's so awful that women feel safer when they're overweight, and that they purposely (either unconsciously or consciously) carry extra weight around to protect themselves. it's soo unhealthy. we know that being overweight is more dangerous to our health than smoking. i wonder if anyone has written any books about overcoming this aspect of being overweight. it would be worth reading, for sure.

i wish that people were all treated the same way regardless of their looks, but ya, when we're overweight, people do judge us as lazy, less than, etc. What i did like about the way that people treated me when i wasn't overweight, was that i got better service when i was shopping, and people were nicer overall. i'm still the same person now that i was then though. the extra attention is flattering at first, and it reinforced all the hard work of losing the weight in the first place, but it takes a lot of energy to fend off unwanted advances, flirtations, attention, etc.


i did a bit of a forum search and came up with:

"The Body Image Workbook: An 8-Step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks" http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=317572

I WISH I WERE THIN, I WISH I WERE FAT : THE REAL REASONS WE OVEREAT AND WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT (Paperback)
by Michelle Joy Levine http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=263255 the amazon reviews for this book are mixed, it seems like some people love it and some hate it.

and on the internet:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marce..._b_1383189.html

https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest...hate_being_hot/

i don't know if i regained the weight specifically because of this issue--i think probably not. but it's something i was thinking about, and thought i should address. i think it probably boils down to being assertive and comfortable in ones own skin regardless of looks? any other books or articles that i should have a look at? i've read lots of 'how to do keto' books but haven't done much reading about living as a thin, healthy, person....
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2   ^
Old Sat, May-13-17, 16:12
JEY100's Avatar
JEY100 JEY100 is online now
Posts: 13,368
 
Plan: P:E/DDF
Stats: 225/150/169 Female 5' 9"
BF:45%/28%/25%
Progress: 134%
Location: NC
Default

Such an interesting question, those quotes about a fat shield led me to this psych article, Wearing Your Weight as Armour:
https://psychcentral.com/blog/archi...eight-as-armor/

Which has links to other resources...possibly you will find something in those. The sexual abuse/ unwanted attention is an issue that is rarely discussed yet has a high prevalence according to these specialists.

And this article in Oprah has a few suggestions for books about overcoming a negative body image which appear more geared to general image issues, not just sexual.

Quote:
You can lose all the weight you like, but until your self-image catches up with your new, thinner body, you're in danger of gaining it right back. O reports on the phenomenon of phantom fat. Read more: http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/can-...t#ixzz4h2oWeTgS

Last edited by JEY100 : Sun, May-14-17 at 03:38.
Reply With Quote
  #3   ^
Old Sat, May-13-17, 19:25
walnut's Avatar
walnut walnut is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,876
 
Plan: C:12 P:60 F:satiety
Stats: 220/177.6/142 Female 5'5
BF:0/0/0
Progress: 54%
Location: canada, eh!
Default

thankfully, sexual abuse isn't something that i personally have to overcome, but according to this guy, there are probably lots of people on the forum who have experienced it.

Quote:
Michael D. Myers, M.D., an obesity and eating disorder specialist, estimates that 40 percent of his significantly obese patients have experienced sexual abuse. On his website, he writes: “In a sense, obesity protects a person from their sexuality since, in Western culture, obesity is frowned upon.”



Those articles both look great, thanks for your input Janet

i found a couple of other threads that sort of talk about the way that we see ourselves at different sizes.
http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=270791
http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=221880
i thought that it was interesting that some people feel like they have more presence and authority when they are a larger size. i've always felt opposite, like i'm taken more seriously by anybody when i'm a lower weight.
Reply With Quote
  #4   ^
Old Sat, May-13-17, 23:13
walnut's Avatar
walnut walnut is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,876
 
Plan: C:12 P:60 F:satiety
Stats: 220/177.6/142 Female 5'5
BF:0/0/0
Progress: 54%
Location: canada, eh!
Default

i found an interesting article in the magazine 'diabetic living' that talks about adverse childhood experiences (ace's) and how that contributes to obesity.
Their recommended book list includes these titles:


more about aces: https://acestoohigh.com/2012/05/23/...es-obesity-too/

it's kind of interesting.

eta one more book recommendation from the aces101 website: Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology and How You Can Heal, by Donna Jackson Nakazawa

Last edited by walnut : Sat, May-13-17 at 23:55.
Reply With Quote
  #5   ^
Old Sat, May-13-17, 23:32
gonwtwindo's Avatar
gonwtwindo gonwtwindo is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 6,671
 
Plan: General Low Carb
Stats: 164/162.6/151 Female 5'3"
BF:Sure is
Progress: 11%
Location: SoCal
Default

What a thought-provoking thread. I will definitely be reading some of these links.

I remember when I went from slender to fat, and got catcalled walking to the grocery store. I was furious!! Kind of like, "You are not supposed to be able to see me!!! I am in my safety bubble!!"
Reply With Quote
  #6   ^
Old Sun, May-14-17, 14:20
robynsnest's Avatar
robynsnest robynsnest is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,146
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 336/286/199 Female 5'11"
BF:Losing it....
Progress: 36%
Location: Canada ay?
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by walnut
thankfully, sexual abuse isn't something that i personally have to overcome, but according to this guy, there are probably lots of people on the forum who have experienced it.


So hard to think about...never mind talk about, thank you for this
Reply With Quote
  #7   ^
Old Mon, May-15-17, 14:34
walnut's Avatar
walnut walnut is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,876
 
Plan: C:12 P:60 F:satiety
Stats: 220/177.6/142 Female 5'5
BF:0/0/0
Progress: 54%
Location: canada, eh!
Default

another book recc: https://www.hoopladigital.com/title/10756312
Quote:
Your body has a reason why it's holding on to weight-and it's not your fault.Fat is a cushion-a protective barrier that our mind believes is helping to protect us.If you can change that belief, you can change your body; stop the cycle of crash dieting and start eating what you want; when you want it.How to choose healthy, nutritious foods that nourish the cells in your body, not starve them.The simple way you can train your mind and body to work with your goal of health, not against it.How to eliminate the emotional and mental reasons your body holds on to weight in just 10 minutes a day
he's not particularly lowcarb, but he's been mentioned on the forums before and some people may appreciate his approach. http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=395392 there's a free visualization mp3 on his website http://gabriel-method-audio-2.0.s3....ization-vph.mp3

Quote:
Originally Posted by robynsnest
So hard to think about...never mind talk about, thank you for this

i know, right? there seem to be some decent resources available to help people deal with past sexual abuse.


some of the literature about resilience may be beneficial as well, in regards to helping people feel safe, regardless of size.

The art of resilience https://www.amazon.ca/Art-Resilienc...t+of+resilience
https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/resilience
Reply With Quote
  #8   ^
Old Fri, Jun-09-17, 09:53
walnut's Avatar
walnut walnut is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,876
 
Plan: C:12 P:60 F:satiety
Stats: 220/177.6/142 Female 5'5
BF:0/0/0
Progress: 54%
Location: canada, eh!
Default

Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:27.


Copyright © 2000-2024 Active Low-Carber Forums @ forum.lowcarber.org
Powered by: vBulletin, Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.