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  #1   ^
Old Sat, Aug-02-03, 18:31
Lisa N's Avatar
Lisa N Lisa N is offline
Posts: 12,028
 
Plan: Bernstein Diabetes Soluti
Stats: 260/-/145 Female 5' 3"
BF:
Progress: 63%
Location: Michigan
Default General parenting rant

Had to take my 7 year old to the ER for stitches this afternoon after her 8 year old sister cut her sister's finger using my [forbbiden for their use] kitchen scissors while I was downstairs folding laundry. At her age, you'd think that she understands that "don't use this" means "don't use this! Still trying to come up with an appropriate punishment, but right now I'm leaning towards making her do all her sister's chores while she has the stitches in and can't use her hand comfortably or get it wet...at least the next week.
While we were at the ER, my DH had her write an apology to both of us; to me for using my scissors even though I've told her repeatedly that they are very sharp and too dangerous for her to use and to her sister for hurting her even though it was an accident.
Any other parents have to deal with a situation like this? What did you do? This resurrected some not-so-good memories for me as well. I did something similar to my older brother when I was about her age by being careless with a pair of hedge trimmers. I still remember how horrified I was and how bad I felt for hurting him even though it was an accident.
I guess what my husband says in jest is at least partly true: "The sins of the fathers (and mothers too) are visited upon them by their children."

Last edited by Lisa N : Sat, Aug-02-03 at 18:33.
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  #2   ^
Old Wed, Aug-20-03, 08:11
kaeleen's Avatar
kaeleen kaeleen is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 110
 
Plan: A4L
Stats: 147/138/135 Female 5'4"
BF:
Progress: 75%
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Kids do the worst things to each other. I don think they are even aware some times. Once i caught my oldest son age 3 about to spray Fantastic in his 1.5 yr old sister's face. I hope your daughter is ok now. Having the other daughter do her choeres and writing the apology were both execellent consequences, IMHO.
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  #3   ^
Old Thu, Sep-04-03, 21:48
pjaye's Avatar
pjaye pjaye is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 112
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 222/207/145 Female 5' 3"
BF:
Progress: 19%
Location: Richmond, VA
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My boys are a little older but we have a rule, when one of them hurts the other and yes it's always "an accident", they pay the doctor bill or buy the supplies used to treat at home. We established this rule once they took up wooden sword fighting and a few to many jackass type stunts. It's almost funny to hear a 16 yr. old ask someone how much stitches cost. We were lucky that time a couple bandaids worked.
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  #4   ^
Old Fri, Sep-05-03, 00:38
angieK's Avatar
angieK angieK is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 696
 
Plan: atkins
Stats: 230/223/150 Female 65 inches
BF:
Progress: 9%
Location: Vancouver Island BC Canad
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Sometimes it is just for attention. I remember back to the good old days. My mom was washing my sisters hair in the sink. She turned around to get the shampoo and I sitting there watching turned the cold water off on my sister. Her head got scalded. I got sent to my room. I did not get the attention of my mom that I wanted at that time. I learnt that bad behavior was not going to get me what I wanted and I felt so bad for my sister. and yes she was playing it up to get what she wanted --attention.
angie
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  #5   ^
Old Sat, Sep-20-03, 15:59
DannysMom3's Avatar
DannysMom3 DannysMom3 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 103
 
Plan: Atkins w/ Veggies
Stats: 200/165/140 Female 5 feet 4 inches
BF:BMI: 34.3/29.2/24
Progress: 58%
Location: Palmdale CA USA
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I think that the apology letters were a great idea; kudos to DH!! I doubt my DH would think of that. In any case, the chores idea is also another great one. I hope your daughter is ok, let us know!
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  #6   ^
Old Sat, Sep-20-03, 17:19
Lisa N's Avatar
Lisa N Lisa N is offline
Posts: 12,028
 
Plan: Bernstein Diabetes Soluti
Stats: 260/-/145 Female 5' 3"
BF:
Progress: 63%
Location: Michigan
Default

Quote:
I hope your daughter is ok, let us know!


She's fine! Just a small scar on her finger to show for the whole ordeal. Her older sister did have to do all her chores for the week she had the stitches in and we had a long talk about how she felt about what happened as well as ways we can prevent something like that from happening in the future. I think there were some good lessons learned on all sides.
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  #7   ^
Old Mon, Sep-22-03, 22:15
LadyBelle's Avatar
LadyBelle LadyBelle is offline
Resident Loud Mouth
Posts: 8,495
 
Plan: Retrying
Stats: 239.2/150.6/120 Female 5'2"
BF:
Progress: 74%
Location: Wyoming
Default

The chore idea was a good one. That way she is reminded for quite a while about the concequences of her actions.

At 7, yes she should now better, but she is still akid. I don't think kids always think out what they are going to do and what the outcome will be. That kind of thinking is a developmental milestone issue and just needs to be worked on over time (I know some adults I would like to teach it to, along with a smack upside the head though :P )

My son has always had the idea "No" means "Not while I'm watching." He will sit right behind my chair to do something and if I try to swivel it, he'll put his arm out to stop me from turning around and looking. If he goes in another room and is quite, I know there is truble. My favorite though is when he gets in trouble and he tells me "Go away" or "turn around" like that will make it ok :P
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  #8   ^
Old Tue, Sep-23-03, 18:15
Lisa N's Avatar
Lisa N Lisa N is offline
Posts: 12,028
 
Plan: Bernstein Diabetes Soluti
Stats: 260/-/145 Female 5' 3"
BF:
Progress: 63%
Location: Michigan
Default

Quote:
At 7, yes she should now better, but she is still akid.


Actually, the youngest is 7. The oldest is almost 9. Still a kid, though, and kids (as well as a lot of adults I know!) still haven't totally developed the ability to consider possible consequences before they act.

My DH is fond of saying that wisdom is gained from experience and experience is what we get when we mess up!

Ladybelle...I hear you on the silence = trouble theory. When my kids get quiet, I usually go looking to see what they're up to.

Last edited by Lisa N : Tue, Sep-23-03 at 18:23.
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  #9   ^
Old Fri, Sep-26-03, 20:46
LadyBelle's Avatar
LadyBelle LadyBelle is offline
Resident Loud Mouth
Posts: 8,495
 
Plan: Retrying
Stats: 239.2/150.6/120 Female 5'2"
BF:
Progress: 74%
Location: Wyoming
Default

There was one evening he came running into the living room and asked "Where's my stool" (we had just bought him a step stool to reach the sink and potty.) I said distractedly, "in the kitchen", then went back to what I was doing..... (insert 10 second pause ) "Wait a min!!! What do you need your stool for young man!!"

Now I've learned when he asks for his stool to ask why first

Other triggers are "Uh Oh", "That's Messy", "No no Baby" (said to his little sister).

Or when he just runs into what ever room I'm in with a wide eyed startled look, then tries to pretend nothing is going on. That one usually stinks the most because I have to go search out where the mess or trouble is
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  #10   ^
Old Fri, Sep-26-03, 21:30
potatofree's Avatar
potatofree potatofree is offline
Fully Caffeinated
Posts: 17,245
 
Plan: Back to Atkins
Stats: 298/228/160 Female 5ft9in
BF:?/35/?
Progress: 51%
Default

lolol... Memories! My daughter survived childhood and is off to college, my son is still the King Of "Nothing.....nevermind!!" when asked what he's doing...usually AFTER a crash.

I don't think kids ever really outgrow thinking that "Don't do that."="It must be really COOL, so I really HAVE to try it!!!!
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