OMG I thought I posted today- now it is time to go to bed! Catch ya in am early- I will be next poster! Lori!

Good Morning all!

Apologies, I was thinking about you all and thought I had posted and then one thing after another and another and the next thing you know it is time for bed!

Lori- I am glad the sun finally poked out and you got some good game time in! It sure makes a difference if it is windy and cloudy VS sunny and mild!

How wonderful the graduation went well at a PLACE and there was no prep and clean up for you! PERFECT! Yeah, I want to be mad at Dan too, I think he is a pitiful putz. HE should had been on top of the things and not let his wife be a sole drive in all things. Men like that I don't respect very much. I call them momma boys. They just never grow up and want a momma to take care of everything, then they are lost when she is gone. Pitiful.

Speaking of taking care everything. I feel ya on Betty! Being a caregiver is hard, and tiring. It can really wear one out. Is it possible to hire someone every now and again so you two can get away like you did that weekend? Betty may not like it but she really doesn't have a say, not really. Couple time is so important. Just thinking out loud!

Glad your BIL made it home. He sounds OK but his roaming at night.......Glad he made it home and you could sleep. It is weird to have people in the house I so agree. I never sleep well when I have people in or sleep somewhere else with people. Even at my mom's it is not comfortable, not to mention they really keep the heat on even in the summer and I BOIL! I will take my meat locker any day!

Trig- So glad you posted! I am so sorry you are having to walk this road right now. hugs too- GROUP HUG!!!!!!

I do agree though that memories with your DD are never going to stop! They don't. There is college yes, and then there is life after that. She might even spend the summers with you all traveling!
Trust me- your kiddo loves you and even though she is spreading her wings a bit, that is a good thing. There are many many years of good stuff ahead!

The MIL- maybe NOW after this hospitalization is a good time to transition to that nursing home. She can get admitted straight from the hospital and then transition to long term care. ASK the discharge planner to do that for you! Easy from a hospital. It saves you a huge headache! She would start out in a "SNF" Skilled nursing home at discharge get some rehab and then STAY! Talk to hubby- this is a great time to get that done with help!

I would check July about that spot you just cancelled. Maybe in a few weeks you can take some time. This situation does not go on forever! Once she is safe and placed- you are free to go!
Speaking of- is your metal detector working? It also might be a grand time to get yourself a small gift, with all the bangs and whistles.


Nic- - I am jelly of your cool weather. It has been miserable here. Just oppressive heat and more to come!
I thought you said you have taken Melatonin in the past. Does that help? You can up the dosage to 10, although 5 might be better for you. I take 5 or 10 depending.

You seem to be humming along and glad for that. You mentioned that you and hubby both are going to "clean it up a bit"? Men drop it fast! We struggle, but you lose fast too being a spring chick.

Your DS came by at 11 PM to chat?!?!?!?!? Oh that would so not happen here, but you are a night owl! I am in bed and lights out 10 max! HAHAHAHAHAH
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Per the usual I am out of time. That elusive thing I crave= TIME! It slips away from me at warp speed!

Till later!

Good Morning!

I held off posting so you could be first Jaz!

I got up too freakin' early this morning, but I was awake and I heard Gabby prowling around, so I knew she'd soon be coming to get me.

My regular golf partner is taking off today, so I'm playing with another gal we often play with. It'll be a nice change. She's quite a good player and I often pick up some good tips just by watching her.

After golf I have to run to the grocery store and grab some things. Betty needs some stuff and wants me to make her shortcakes out of Bisquick(blech!). I've never made them like that, as I have my MIL's excellent shortcake recipe that is DH's favorite. Betty doesn't like my recipe. Serenity now! I can see her getting more demanding and harder to please every day. I'm finding it hard not to be resentful and ticked off. I need to be like DH. Nothing is too much trouble or a problem for him. He's a better person than I am!

In the 40's with sunshine this morning. I think it'll get up near 80 this afternoon.

Have good days!

Lori, powerful post about your Sis and your issues wtih Betty and it gave me one thing to remember, WE ALL deal with it don't we and reading Nic's issues with some oldies happening to her SoILs family and then her own issues, and then reading Jazz and her mom with med/age issues.........it kinda gave me that perspective back that 'this is friggin' life' and we gotta deal. I appreciate your chatting on your situation with Betty and your Sis and limited time and TIME being that OH SO important commodity here for all of us now. Your post helped me alot actually just think a tad differently and not 'feel so damn' depressed over it all. I used to say life is bob and weave. Bob and weave. If we do that enough then we can fit in good times and fun and a good life inbetween all the responsibities that fall on us daily!! Time for all of us to 'bob and weave' Thanks!!!

Nicco sorry to read about SoILs issues too.
I haven't been sleeping well at all. I know that is part of my problem right now. I am 'off' in every way but maybe it is time to put it all into a box and pull up the bootstraps. Cause honestly, being tired and brain dead and drained is getting 'f'ing tiring and annoying' kinda at this point LOL

wow on disney....16 hr day to from there to disney? my gosh that is insanity.
I woulda had to be committed to some psych ward by that amt of time

Jazz, yea not sure on MIL. come to find out the Chop's brother and wife drove down Sat and are visiting MIL and they took a hotel up by that hospital instead of near her home.......yea, hubby knew a week ago they were coming, I find out last night.......and at this point, I don't care what angle goes down.

I said my peace. I wash hands. I give up. I bow out. I am forgetting. I am letting go. I have no skin in this game anymore. I find anything I say to hubby doesn't compute and don't sink in and in the end, I waste my life of mental involvement for no good reason. I got enough other crap to worry about unless I ask I receive like 0 communication on anything, and ya know what, I am done asking! I am SO over it all now you don't even know.

bob and weave like I said above. I am now bobbing and weaving to find ME in all this sh**show around me.


-----------------still in a funk but coming out of funk slowly.
waiting to chat with dentist. praying it is only a hole to bond with that bonding stuff and I get outta there easy.

hubby working
kid sleeping

I ain't sleeping well at all....alot of my issue for me.
not eating well, eating some crap, not bad but not even eating that much. I must correct that ASAP and I will since I just acknowledged it out in the world

saying a big fat WHATEVER to the world, and starting to 'bob and weave' thru it all. I ain't letting it all hit me anymore, I am ducking, and bobbing around it and weaving thru the mess and finding some damn happy place for me.

I sound like a nut job but I ain't I am funked and dragging me out of it

Hey all!

Jaz- Funny you mention Melatonin- I did actually take one last night, which I hardly ever do. 5 mg. In fact the first time I took one, I felt drugged for most of the following day!

If I'm a spring chick then so are you, bc we are just about the same age! I am 53. And also, I'm no night owl! I'm usually in bed between 9 and 10 pm. You've got me all wrong! lololololol

I hope the job goes well today/ this week and that it is better than you thought it would be. Hoping!

Lori- If your Dh is a better person than you, then he must be darn near perfect! You are wonderful and kind and giving. You all have both been angels to Betty for sure. She really may be coming closer to needing something more though.

Trig- I honestly think that even taking on thinking of your MIL right now is too much. You haven't really been able to grieve the loss of your own mom fully yet. Her passing was both expected and also crazy fast and sudden. Your body and your brain and the feelings and fatigue you are experiencing is partly your needing to process that grief. It takes time. Hugs and more hugs. Please please be kind and gentle to yourself during it all. Your nature is to just do and be done and I totally get that, but I think your brain may revolt on you this time.

Step out of the stuff with your MIL, find your peace where you can find it, talk gently to yourself, just as you would to your DD if she lost you, you know? You'd tell her to feel the feels and be kind to herself. Do that to you as well.

Not sure that is all making sense but just loving up on you a bit. Even we tough ones need it from time to time!

•••••••••••••

Really enjoying life in DE during the summer as you can imagine, and it is nice to come back 'home' to MD as well. Two very different feels. We got back from DE last night and I'm sitting on my back deck this morning with all the green trees and so forth. Peaceful and lovely. I've spent most of the day out here.

After much sad discussion, DH and I are preparing to say goodbye to Sophie this week. She has had a wonderful life at 14 and a half years but her weight loss continues, weakness, falling down, trouble laying down etc. It is just time. We've already decided we will spread half her ashes at this home and half along the trail in DE to the dog park. She loved DE so much and it was a blessing to get her there as much as we did. We never thought we would get her there at all.

Kids are all doing well. DD and SoIL are in FL with his parents doing Disney this week. DS23 got over Covid with no issues and is doing well. He set up a poker online tourney with DH and some friends and other dads last night. DS20 is also doing well, working some, filing in with Door Dash. I think he is going to work at his PA camp for the latter half of the summer. His band also has some gigs planned. I am going to strangle him if I can't get him to follow through with renters insurance etc! Dh is out of his boot and played pickleball for the first time yesterday. It went well and no pain so YAY for that! I'm also doing fine, meeting with my doula client tomorrow that is due in late July to create a general plan, and otherwise just happily kicking along through life!

I tried on a couple of pants suits for the wedding today. One is a definite no but one could be a possibility. I don't LOVE it but it is lightweight and comfortable and would do the trick. So maybe!

On plan today, dammit. I need a win!

Nicco so sorry to hear about Sophie but when time comes for any of us it sure comes.


--------------so hubby went to work and comes home early around 1 and says, his brother called saying the kidney Dr told their mother that she has like 6 mos to live......and then the sh**show began and we don't know if this is real or ?? but hospital has hospice center being contacted and more and ?? hubby is in total brain dead mode. I am in total WTH is going on mode?

I tell ya guys, this is a house of horrors right now.

will update as I see it coming at me. We just don't know what ot think at this point but hubby is coordinating calls with Drs now to get real info.

hitting bank tomorrow since he is power of attorney and all that to get online bank acct set up for her acct so we can interact with it and more and and and and ......ugh

Holy crap sh!t has hit the fan in the 8 hours I have been working!

First- Trig, let me just say if they are talking Hospice what a godsend to you. They truly handle EVERYTHING and are amazing for families. Hospice is a great service and truly does it all for patient and family. They are angels. Take it and run with it, you will find it helpful. Two thumbs up on that!

I am sorry you and your hubby both are dealing with the loss of your mom and potentially his. It really sucks. I hope you two can give each other strength and know this is a time to pull together. Support system.

Yup you are right those. We who are in our 50/60's are dealing with oldies and oldie issues on some level, AND kids!

I am so glad you are knowing that taking care of you and your needs are primary. You are so right to think about your needs. RIGHT ON! You can't care for others if you are depleted.
Glad you are back!
Hey- you will be back on WOE! Don't beat yourself up over a few slips at this time. You know your way back when you are ready.


Lori- HAHAHAHAH on letting me post first- hahahahah.
I hear ya on your feeling about having to always be there. That is a huge responsibility.
What does your hubby think about it? IS he taking into account your feelings? Just wondering. I think sometimes we need to tell them straight up what we are feeling, they don't get hints most times.

Did you play today? I am glad you had a beautiful weather day!

NIC- I am so so so so so sorry about Sophie. I know you have been nursing her for a minute. I truly do now know which is better. Nursing her and preparing for a few months or having days and they are just gone. As you all know my loss with Bella was DEVESTATING as it was so unexpected and I had no time to prepare and was just LOST for months after, even after I got Ruger I was grieving Bella. Even now I can't say her name without crying. She was my ....... no words..... spirit animal, sent from heaven for 14 years too. We were so close. I grieve for you. My heart is heavy. Putting a loved pet you have had for years down is so hard. It is a loss for sure. heart and hugs.

On a positive I am thrilled that things are going so well in your spaces and places.

AWESOME on a Doula patient! Is she the same one you had last year????
That is really cool! Are you think about getting more involved with that again?
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Well............. I am actively looking but going to keep this job until I get another. My pocket book sayes so.

I watched the way the manager just did a total DUMP on my co-worker today. It was horrible. I share the office with another gal and she is so sweet. They change up assignments so I see different people in the office. Anyway, She was so excited she and her hubby were going out for dinner tonight and then someone called in sick and she got a double assignment. The manager didn't split it between everyone. Just dumped her. And she started crying and said this happens all the time.
She stays because her husband is disabled and she makes the $$. Manager knows this and takes advantage. She is a snake.

She was almost caught up when I kid you not 15 minutes before she was to go home the manager walked is and so sweetly said "I am sorry, but I need to to do 15 reviews that are behind". They were not even hers.
I am not yet trained to even help at this point!
She said ok, then I heard her crying again as I was leaving as she cancelled dinner plans.
I have heard this now from 2 other people on staff that she just "drops" last minute stuff because she is unorganized.

Thing is I love the staff as I said before- they are kind and nice. The manager is a snake and ruthless. No thank you. I know I will have to deal with it if I stay. I am not that kind. I don't say yes ma'am and cave. I would have said NO- I have plans. People I think are afraid of her. They are passive sweet people that don't like to make waves.

I rock the boat and see the writing on the wall. NEXT.

I am eating TO MUCH OF THE RIGHT STUFF but am up 2 pounds AGAIN. Bacon , bacon, bacon, - and slicked cheese. All Zero carbs and I have put on 2 pound in 2 days. Up from my low, again!

I got inspired from a You Tube with Ken Berry and Kelly Hogan. It was great BTW! But she eats a ton and looks FAB!

I am tired today- 8pm already and just spent!
Chat later.

BTW- We are so blessed to have each other! JUst sayin!

Hey Lori- You "letting me post again first thing?!?!?!?!

I was in a "mood" yesterday too! I do not have tolerance for bullies, even passive aggressive ones. You know the type that smile and stab at the same time. That would be the boss. I just hate that the people I am working with are kind and sweet and not the type to speak for themselves. Most of them are social workers.
Sooooooooooooo this gal know what I am. I am not the type to be pushed around and I can see that road fast and want off of it before it goes there. I am seriously looking at all options now.
Nursing and other too! I am thinking this might be a good time for me to transition to something else.

I am up two pounds- crap on a cracker! I "feel" inflamed too. I am not sure if it was the 8 pieces of bacon through out the day yesterday or the cheese slice on the hamburger patty. I have had my cheese fix now I am good for awhile. Yup addition for sure.

My planter fasciitis on my left foot, is acting up again too. I am wondering if all that inflammation is also causing the 2 pounds up? Or the salt, or the stress........... yeah on it all.

OK - I have vented, and over it.

I posted ya'll last night.
Hot and humid coming my way. Going to hit 98 today and 100 tomorrow. That is not the heat index. CRAZY HOT! Truly too hot for me!

Anyway- I am hoping you all have a good day. I know it seems we are all dealing with "something right now! I guess it's called life! We are in it together!

Good Morning!

Scale up for me too. Just a little under my "danger zone" number. I know me and I know that tomorrow the scale will be back down. It happens.

Heading to the golf course in a bit. It's cloudy, but not supposed to rain......at least not much. A sprinkle maybe? I have to stop at Betty's on the way home and change her bed & do a little cleaning. She and DH have a meeting with the committee that is organizing the "house tours" of our little town for September, so she'll be up and out of her bed giving me the chance to change it without forcing her to get up.

I went to the grocery store after golf yesterday and loaded up. I got the Bisquick and made the short cakes for Betty.....she's delighted. I feel bad because I was b!tching and moaning under my breath the whole time I was making them. It wasn't hard for me, but means a lot to her. I need to have a better attitude.

Well, I have to find something to eat. Yesterday I was so hungry by the time I got home I was hangry!

Hugs all around.....we all need some!

Oh Trig, you guys are getting hit hard and fast over there. I'm so sorry. Fact is that even with it not being your Mom, it is a family member and even more so, a painful thing for Chop as well as the rest of you. I truly hate how this is all hitting. Please know that I am sending you a ton of love. Gentle steps with yourself, as much as you can.

Lori, I love how you did for Betty, even mumbling under your breath through it. I do that kind of thing PLENTY! lol You are a good person indeed. Enjoy your golf time!

Jaz, thanks for your kind words about Sophie, I really appreciate them. She's a good, sweet girl. She has always been so sensitive and so sweet- a truly kind natured dog. Not a mean bone in her whole body, ever. We will really miss her when she is gone. And now I am crying! Guess I will be doing that a bit over the next few days- a good healthy response.

I do know what you are saying about Bella. I cry still over Gracie. I was trying to think how long ago that was.. pre-my-Bella, so at least seven or eight years time. Tough stuff but part of the deal when loving a doggo.

If all other things are good about this job except the boss, then maybe you just stick it out? I mean, there is likely going to be someone crappy just about anywhere you work. I don't mean to minimize but if you generally like the work, like the co-workers etc then maybe it could still work? Obvs you know what is best for you though. And you like your apt so that is good!

•••••

All is well here. We've had lovely summer weather (sorry, Jaz!) with cool mornings in the 60s, then going up to somewhere in the mid to low 80s, then back down to cool evenings. I am on the deck in sweatpants and a cardigan right now! I can do summer like this!

We are LOVING the AC unit in the master bedroom window. So far that has worked out really well. Set that sucker to 68 for the night and we are in heaven!

Today I do kitty care x 2, meet my client (yes, I worked with her before, her daughter just turned 2) and also go to Costco and the store. No, not really planning on growing the business unless someone reaches out to me first.

DD and SoIL (shhh!) are actively working on conceiving now. WHOOHOO!! My DH doesn't know- it is all on the down low. Fingers crossed for them!

Got the wedding invitation for DS23's wedding, so I need to address and get rehearsal dinner invites into the mail. Hopefully today or tmrw.

My Dad has his neurologist appt this week and can hopefully get some answers or a new direction.

Ok, that's the news from here.

fasty here
dealing with new realtor for our home on market. ugh.

and all going bit sideways with talking hospice for hubby’s mom and her being alot sicker and possible end of life in about 6 mos? and she has to go to nursing center from hospital, can’t go home, can’t take care of herself, and and and…we are slammed from all sides right now.

it is rough and tough dealings here. alot of emotion flying around…but we shall survive! I got that 'hoarder home' to deal with focus too and it is putting my anxiety thru the f'ng roof!

overloaded. simple as that. will deal tho, we all gotta

Good Afternoon!

All plans changed around here. Betty not feeling well and lots of weakness. Another episode of not being able to get up from the toilet...even with the high raised seat and hand rails. Not looking good. She was finally able to get herself up, but she told DH that she's not up to attending their meeting this afternoon(at her house), and did not want me to come up to change her bed. I don't know where we're headed, but it's no where good.

Nic.....so sorry about your pupper. We get so attached to them and they are members of the family. She had a wonderful life with you and you'll have lots of good memories.

Jaz.....Sounds like the manager is a piece of work without many people skills for dealing with her employees. I hope you don't have a run in with her, but I know you'll stand up for yourself!

Trig.....What a mess you're in. I hope DH & his brother can work together for the best solution. Oh yes.....I'm thinking about all the clean out we'll have with Betty's house too. It's not a hoarder house like you'll have to deal with, but there sure is a lot of "stuff".

--------

Got all the final finance pieces into place for our house. We drew $$ out of my pension for the down payment and got that transferred to DD this afternoon. I have also set up the monthly mortgage payments to go directly to her. All done! Whew!

Well, since I don't have to go to Betty's this afternoon, I'm just going to take it easy. No golf tomorrow so I'll run some errands and see what else I can get into. DH & I have to call social services thru Betty's insurance and arrange for a home visit for them to help us decide what our options are for caring for her.

Round and round we go!

Tons going on in here!

Trig- First I know it is hard (hugs), but truly it is a HUGE load off you and Chop to have MIL going to a SNF (Skilled Nursing home) post discharge! Huge help. I would use that oppurtunity to keep her there as that is really where she needs to be to get 24/hr care!
Now dealing with the hoarder house?!?!?! Maybe you can leave that up to hubby and his clan and walk from that. You have enough going with your side and the house. Seriously there is only one you and you can only do so much!
I know your plate is full- one day at a time and just deal with today. Sometimes that is enough truly! I know you will get through, you are a farm gal and they are tough and able!

Do take some down time for you and breathe, maybe a walk? I don't picture you as a bubble bath gal- but a hot soak is really nice!

Lori- Urghhhhh on Betty. It does not sound good. I am glad you are looking to maybe get some help. Are you asking for a case manager through her insurance? They are a huge resource and can also provide some community resources for her. I would think.

I hear ya on the "danger zone" on those scales! You though are in a great spot and are at GOAL! On you a couple here and there that bounce is not a big deal. But you are wise to keep it in check!
Yay on an afternoon OFF and enjoy yourself!

Nic- I did LOL out loud about your kids "working on" conceiving! HAHAHAHAHAH- I bet that is work- HA However, how awesome it will be for you when that happens! I tell you grand babies are the absolute best. I wish I could see mine more! It helps we are YOUNG "Gigi/ Nana/ or whatever you want to be called.
I am Gigi to my kids.

Yes- Those "special" doggers always will have a place in our hearts ALWAYS! I love all dogs, but there are a few diamonds!

Yes I am insanely jelly of the awesome weather you all are having up there. I have a friend that lives in Conn. and she is loving this summer. Hotter than Hades here. Like I am in Purgatory or something- He!! before ya die. I know that was bad!

Have you and hubby started WOE yet?
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I am just taking today as today. I am only doing what I can. I know that this position is not for me all around, but I have a few bills to pay before I say bye bye.

I gotta drop pot roast in the slow cooker, walk and feed the pup and run!
Back later

Good Morning!

A leisurely morning before heading out for some errands. After 6 days in a row of golf, I'm actually looking forward to a day away from the course. We're supposed to play tomorrow, but the weather is looking "iffy".

Today DH & I are going to make some phone calls about help for Betty. A Social Worker is supposed to call us today. DH had talked to someone at Betty's insurance plan last week and they said that her insurance doesn't cover transportation and that it would be a minimum of $275. depending on the distance to the Dr. I want to talk to someone else about it, as the person DH talked to was a "fill in" for someone who was on vacation. I think we need to talk about getting her a hospital bed or similar. Her bed sits low and I seriously don't know how she gets up from it. We're hopeful that a visit from Social Services will provide us with some solutions and guidance.

DH wants to run errands with me this afternoon...?...., so I'll just do a couple early this morning and wait for him to do the rest. I need to run to the meat market for some bacon & the post office to drop off a package. Both of those can be accomplished within 2 miles of home.

That's it from here. Just a day of this and that.

Later!

Hey all-

Well yesterday was quite a drama filled day.

DD texted, then called, then called again while I was having my doula client lunch. I stepped out and called her- SoIL's father has Covid. Remember they are at Disney, and he is 76-77 and in poor health. Diabetic and heart issues. So she and SoIL were freaking out a little. His mom is mid 60s and deaf, and so she isn't able to help, plus really poor with technology etc.

Then she called again in the middle of the night bc he is running a temp, pulse ox 94 and they are worried. They wanted to call paramedics, he said he would refuse treatment, they called, he refused treatment etc. Shitshow.

I haven't heard yet this morning how things are going over there. DD and SoIL moved into a room across the hall and should be fine bc they had it a month and a half ago. SoIL's mom hasn't had it yet- she feels fine thus far, not sure if she has tested or not but she has to quarantine. Very $$$ trip going down the tubes for the two elders, plus SoIL's 40-something year old brother and his wife BAILED on the two 20-somethings and left them there to deal with everything on their own. A-holes!!

Then, DH and I were going to take Sophie in this evening, even got her in the car and drove her over and then decided no, it wasn't time. So she got a stay and we were all bawling (except her, she was just confused about the strange car ride. lol)

Hot today with heavy storms coming, so will get the grand kitty set up and then not visit again until tmrw. Cooling tmrw.

Going to do a wash-out color of my hair, make slaw, dentist appt at 3.

On plan with food and so is DH although he allows some carbs, bread etc. But we make it work.

Lori- I hope you and DH can figure out services to help Betty. It does sound like she is really starting to hit the struggle bus.

Cute that your DH wants to do errands with you. You lovebirds enjoy your day!

Trig- Thinking about your constantly. Don't even deal with MIL's house right now.

Jaz- Smart to go day by day and see how things unfold. How is the actual work itself going? Less stressful than other jobs? More? Easier or harder than you expected? Still happy with the apartment? How is Ruger?