I posted the following "speech" on my journal this morning. But then, I thought it might be an encouraging word on the general forum. So here it is:

Today's headlines--most of them enraging and frightening--also include a celebration of the end of "fat shaming." Fat chance! The articles cite smart and talented celebrities like Rizzo--who (I'm an old lady) I never heard of until I checked her out on YouTube. She is, as we used to say, "Large and in charge!" Apparently she's a classically trained flutist/flautist. Although I don't follow pop music, she's clearly shaping her own career to the top of the charts.

But back to fat shaming...

I don't believe that seeing lingerie on large women on the fashion runway, high fashion on full figures on the red carpet, or celebrities on YouTube with large personalities and bodies constitutes the end of fat shaming.

If you're a large person in the grocery checkout line, people are still going to be inspecting what's in your cart. If you're a large person looking for a pair of pants that really fits--good luck. If you're a large person in certain social or cultural or ethnic environments, you're still "pretty if she'd only lose some weight."

That's a shame. I remember an important paragraph from my original book by Dr. Atkins copyright 1972. I've bookmarked it.

[Shame] is the one emotion that must be guarded against at all cost. There is no room ever to be ashamed of your past actions." And I would add, or of your past or present bodily condition.

Improved health (with reduced reliance on medicines and therapies), comfort in moving through life, perhaps a longer life, more fun with your children if you have them--those are the values to motivate you. Shame will only make you more miserable, with your focus on failure instead of the small steps of success.

We can't be Rizzo. But we can be our best selves, right? And remember...you are cosmically loved at any size.

umm, we are both old ladies, but I do know that Lizzo is the flutist/rapper. Rizzo the Rat was a Muppet. No shaming...just

Fat shaming, in my view, is the logical outcome of the still-prevailing narrative that all of the big questions in nutrition science have been definitively answered, case closed, lock the door and throw away the key. After all, where else could the fault possibly lie, if the science is so 100% watertight?

That question is of course redundant, since as we all know, the science is not as settled as many experts would continue to have us believe. Once that becomes more widely known, I'd like to think that fat shaming in general would just fall away.

We don't begrudge smokers or alcoholics for struggling to overcome their addiction, because as a society, enough of us understand how difficult it really is to do so. The sooner the same becomes true for those struggling with obesity, the better.

Agreed, not by a long shot. Anyone who suggests that has never Read The Comments.

Very true, and I'll add that there's still an awful lot of money to be made by keeping the current status quo (*cough* Weight Watchers etc *cough* ). Blame people for not being able to stick to a starvation diet, so you don't lose your customers.

True, though I think a major difference is that at least to an extent, most people can hide a chemical addiction. I'm met lots of smokers who I never knew smoked until they mentioned it or I saw a cigarette in their hand. There are lots of functional alcoholics and drug abusers. But you can't hide obesity - and with one glance, people assume they know a heck of a lot about your life. But point taken, if only the shamers acknowledged that there are a myriad of factors contributing to obesity, and would mind their own business.

I see shaming in all directions. No one is good enough. People shame others, always people we dont know. We rarely shame a person who we know personally and now see beyond the shell ...

Over Christmas which is my primary music nostalgia blitz, the classically trained vocalosts are normally heavy built and overweight. We celebrate their voice. Not fat shame...why is that ....? Sure made me do some serious thinking about WHO we fat shame.... and WHY.

ALCIHOLism. That has been moved from shameful behavior to recognizing as an addiction.

I have hope for obesity, too. but it wont happen until companies that majke addictive foods are recognized and vilified by the arm of tje government.... Until big pharma stops controlling the conversation and the leaders of this country. ....

for now....its a grassroots effort......

Yeah. Lizzo! See? I don't keep up.

I don't have a clue who Lizzo is but most celebrity names I see in the news are totally unfamiliar to me.

Presumably named after Ratso Rizzo in Midnight Cowboy. I only know of Lizzo because she made the "news", showing off her a$$ in a thong at a Lakers game

I saw that on the news. Her dress had a cut out in the back exposing her rear end... ugh!
I sure wouldn't want to see that one LOLOL

She is a genius, though. Very talented and good at building her brand.

I agree. Things that were framed as a "moral issue" in the past are better understood, in some cases. I believe Carb Addiction, especially in the forms of wheat and sugar, is REAL.

My eating disorder took the form of binge/starve, which was ironically better for me that the usual binge/purge Now, I know I was self-medicating with wheat and sugar, candy and cake and ice cream sandwiches and pizza.

Once I got independent and could leave a lot of incredible stress behind me, it was a struggle still, but one I could control. By myself, I got some grip on it and dropped the actual Eating Disorder, but disordered eating remained

I don't think showing the larger models in clothes is good business. But maybe aspirational shoppers like me are becoming the exception? I have to admit I really like it when a website will show the clothes on three different size models, i.e. Barbie, Normal, and Heavy. I'm now in the normal range and I have several times not purchased an outfit because it only looks good on Barbie.

Shaming as a strategy, whatever the object of the shaming, is simply cruel to the person being shamed and generally motivated by the arrogance of the shamer. People motivated by kindness and compassion don't shame other people, whatever the reason.

IMO being ashamed of someone noticing anything about you is your own problem. Be proud of what you are and don't worry about what other people say.

When I was fat, I was fat. If someone mentioned it I agreed (usually they were kind enough to say overweight).

I have no hair on top of my head, lost it in my 20s. If someone says "You're bald" I agree.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me.

Bob

I get that. As an adult I sometimes had young children point put to me that I was fat, and, knowing that they meant absolutely nothing by it, that it was just a matter-of-fact observation on their part, I would happily agree with them too.

However:

As a fat child in the 1980s, a time when being fat was far less normalised than it is now, this was easier said than done.

Sticks and stones never broke my bones, but I remember all the names. And not just the words, but the clear intent behind them. The implication that I ought to have been able to do something about it, that it was my fault I was the way I was.

That hidden message is where the true damage lay, in my experience. That degree of intent, aimed at a child of that age, at the frequency that I took it, can't not hurt.