Fri, Mar-22-02, 11:43
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Senior Member
Posts: 354
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Plan: Neanderthin
Stats: 269/176/165
BF:55+%/23%/15%
Progress: 89%
Location: Klamath Falls, Oregon
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I think I'll stay hairy and happy, thank you!
allisonm...I don't know what to say...I'm touched by your offer to join your exclusive ranks of femaledom!! The more I think about your offer, the more I'm convinced that I had a choice back before I was born. That choice went something like this:
Scene: Millions of spirits standing in massive lines before a few tables with a bunch of angels sitting behind them. Each line was for a certain part of the alphabet. My line was moving slowly. I was listening to the latest sports and hunting news from the "Heavenly Channel" on my angelic ear device. "Today, in sports, the 'Angelic Horde' sent the team from Lucifer U packing when they overan the 'Red Devils' for three touchdowns in the last three minutes..." I stepped up to the table. A very sweet lady angel smiled up at me. "Can I help you?" "Yes," I replied. "I think I want to be one of those co-creator types..what do they call them?...Women..yeah! I want to do that!"
"Well," she smiled. "That is very noble. Of course, you must understand that you will be required to spend about half of your life in misery every twenty eight days, or so. Men will make fun of you. It will hurt like HELL when you deliver one of Dad's little gifts...You will be discriminated against, from the day you are born until you die. You may even be unlucky enough to have a husband who beats you and does terrible things to you, especially if you're born into a backwards third world country...and, to satisfy men's desire and your own vanity, you will have to wear funny clothing that rides up, causes static cling, can be downright painful, ocassionally wear funny looking shoes that hurt your feet and make you feel like your walking on stairs and twist your ankles, put chemicals all over your body from your face, downward, pluck out hair in various parts of your body, go on ridiculous fad diets, risk anorexia and bulemia, and even wear GIRDLES! Sign right here."
"UHHHH!" I backed away, sheepishly. "Nah! I think I'll just be a drone...one of those men types...I don't really have that much to contribute. Can I hunt, play football, and lay around the house all day while my wife slaves to keep my mess cleaned up as a man?" The rest is history.
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