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  #1   ^
Old Mon, Dec-07-20, 22:57
wowimheavy's Avatar
wowimheavy wowimheavy is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 215
 
Plan: Chicken. Meat. Eggs.
Stats: 472/437.6/250 Male 5'9"
BF:
Progress: 15%
Default Oh boy.. another 'here I go again'

This time it's the truth though. Years back I lost so much weight doing low carb and got down to 267 pounds. Then I went off, developed a back injury, thyroid problem, depression... bam.. went all the way up to 508 pounds in 2016. Been yo-yo-ing around the 480 mark until this past November 21st. This morning I weighed myself for the first time and I was 457.6.

Things got so bad. I saw myself at my worst and I am still there. Despite back pain so bad I can't stand for literally any periods of time and problems with edema and my legs my other blood tests came back OK.

I really want, or should I say NEED to do this. I don't have a choice. I really feel like if I don't - I won't live much longer. I don't want to leave my wife and 2 little girls without a dad. My greatest fear is not to be able to be there for them and provide for them because I chose food over them, which, it feels like I've done all these years. I'm still working on that depression thing. I often feel hopeless, useless and just like I am going to die at any time and leave them and it kills me to even look at them sometimes because of how I screwed myself up so bad..

I am on levothyroxine working on getting my levels normal as they were/are extremely high and I have been doing low carb by the book since 11/21. Not snacking on anything. With me its one thing leads to another.. a day off turns into a month turns into a year.. you know how it happens.. So being able to do this for the past 2 weeks so 'well' is a big thing for me. I can't count on all my fingers and toes how many times I had to restart.

Thank you for letting me vent and re-introduce myself. I enjoy reading these forums because we're all in the same boat and so many of you are doing great.. Thank you for the inspiration..
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  #2   ^
Old Tue, Dec-08-20, 02:02
Kristine's Avatar
Kristine Kristine is offline
Forum Moderator
Posts: 25,550
 
Plan: Primal/P:E
Stats: 171/146/150 Female 5'7"
BF:
Progress: 119%
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Default

Hi and welcome back. You're doing great.

We probably don't have to tell you that staying on plan will start to help the other issues: edema, back pain and depression. My improved mental health is one of the things that keeps me on the straight and narrow - arthritis, too. My depression/anxiety and arthritis don't magically disappear at a healthy weight; but at least I know what I have to do to treat them. And it's worked... as long as I actually do it.

Stick around and keep us posted. Wishing you happiness and much improved health.
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  #3   ^
Old Tue, Dec-08-20, 05:57
thud123's Avatar
thud123 thud123 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 7,422
 
Plan: P:E=>1 (Q3-22)
Stats: 168/100/82 Male 182cm
BF:
Progress: 79%
Default

welcome back. one meal at a time.
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  #4   ^
Old Tue, Dec-08-20, 06:59
Sniggle Sniggle is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 370
 
Plan: General Low Carb
Stats: 215/197.2/195 Male 73.5
BF:
Progress: 89%
Location: West Virginia
Default

Sounds like you have a really strong WHY. Now hold onto that and as others have said, take 1 meal at a time. Wishing you success!

Last edited by Sniggle : Tue, Dec-08-20 at 08:30.
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  #5   ^
Old Tue, Dec-08-20, 16:59
wowimheavy's Avatar
wowimheavy wowimheavy is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 215
 
Plan: Chicken. Meat. Eggs.
Stats: 472/437.6/250 Male 5'9"
BF:
Progress: 15%
Default

Thank you all... Like you said, just 1 day at a time. I'm still trying my hardest.
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  #6   ^
Old Tue, Dec-08-20, 21:37
bluesinger's Avatar
bluesinger bluesinger is offline
Doing My Best
Posts: 4,924
 
Plan: LC/CancerRecovery
Stats: 170/135/130 Female 62 inches
BF:24%
Progress: 88%
Location: Nevada Desert, USA
Default

I've been using LC to control myself since 1972, and the number of times I've started over is.....uncountable. I know the secret is to never stop coming back to my right mind.

Because of my advanced age, I eat to therapeutic ketosis and this controls my aches and pains and (supposedly) keeps my brain sharper. The difference between therapeutic and regular ketosis is much higher levels of ketones in my blood. To get those higher levels I eat 80% fat and less protein than most people here.

Not everybody needs this, but I definitely do because arthritis HURTS, and this way I have almost no pain.

I commend you for coming back because that path leads to success. May you live long and prosper.
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  #7   ^
Old Fri, Dec-11-20, 23:21
LostAgain's Avatar
LostAgain LostAgain is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 536
 
Plan: 12/25/63 (c/p/f)
Stats: 218/207.8/155 Female 66 in
BF:
Progress: 16%
Location: FL, USA
Default

Even though I don't have the same herculean weight loss task in front of me as you do, I identify with you because I too take levothyroxine and go through recurring depressions.

I was very low and lost when I came here 2 weeks ago and introduced myself. Now my self-esteem and attitude towards life have improved.

Mental health is important to me because I was drowning everything with food. So, I'm doing all I can to be in a good place where I can address my feelings differently.

I wish you much success on this new chapter!
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  #8   ^
Old Sat, Dec-12-20, 20:07
wowimheavy's Avatar
wowimheavy wowimheavy is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 215
 
Plan: Chicken. Meat. Eggs.
Stats: 472/437.6/250 Male 5'9"
BF:
Progress: 15%
Default

Thank you so much. I wish the same to you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by bluesinger
I've been using LC to control myself since 1972, and the number of times I've started over is.....uncountable. I know the secret is to never stop coming back to my right mind.

Because of my advanced age, I eat to therapeutic ketosis and this controls my aches and pains and (supposedly) keeps my brain sharper. The difference between therapeutic and regular ketosis is much higher levels of ketones in my blood. To get those higher levels I eat 80% fat and less protein than most people here.

Not everybody needs this, but I definitely do because arthritis HURTS, and this way I have almost no pain.

I commend you for coming back because that path leads to success. May you live long and prosper.
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  #9   ^
Old Sat, Dec-12-20, 20:11
wowimheavy's Avatar
wowimheavy wowimheavy is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 215
 
Plan: Chicken. Meat. Eggs.
Stats: 472/437.6/250 Male 5'9"
BF:
Progress: 15%
Default

Thank you, LostAgain... I think each struggle can be the same no matter how long it is. I am sorry to hear about your depressions. Do you ever feel guilty for feeling depressed? I do.. I feel like I don't deserve to feel that way and I should be happy with what I have.. And God knows, I am happy with what I have.. I am just not happy with what I can't do and the constant fear of not being able to come back from all of this. I did the same thing as you with food.. but good job to you as well for working toward getting everything under control, too. I think we all just have to remind ourselves that we'll get through this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LostAgain
Even though I don't have the same herculean weight loss task in front of me as you do, I identify with you because I too take levothyroxine and go through recurring depressions.

I was very low and lost when I came here 2 weeks ago and introduced myself. Now my self-esteem and attitude towards life have improved.

Mental health is important to me because I was drowning everything with food. So, I'm doing all I can to be in a good place where I can address my feelings differently.

I wish you much success on this new chapter!
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  #10   ^
Old Sun, Dec-13-20, 12:45
LostAgain's Avatar
LostAgain LostAgain is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 536
 
Plan: 12/25/63 (c/p/f)
Stats: 218/207.8/155 Female 66 in
BF:
Progress: 16%
Location: FL, USA
Default

I have been working on the guilt part and allowing myself to have a few off days or weeks and tell myself that it will pass. I feel a lot of guilt because I could be a better owner to my dog, groom him more often or walk him more often.

I agree that depression doesn't care about the reality of how good your life is or not.

The fear is real too, my family is plagued by genetic high cholesterol, hypertension, diabetes, heart disease, stroke, you name it. I hope low carb will see me through without all the struggles I saw with my grandmothers and my mom.

You want to fight to be there for your family and that is a great thing to remind yourself of every time you need strength.

I have been off and on plan several times, and the first weeks are the hardest. Then the confidence that I can do this returns.
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  #11   ^
Old Sun, Dec-27-20, 10:20
Charran's Avatar
Charran Charran is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 9,446
 
Plan: my own
Stats: 253/176.0/153 Female 5 feet 7 inches
BF:
Progress: 77%
Default

Welcome back to the forum and to LC! It seems like you have so many good reasons to get your health back on track. It's great that you are seeking help with the depression and I'm sure that will make a huge difference with your success! All the best to you!
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