I have never fully committed to low carbing it and looking back, I'm disappointed in myself. In grad school, like 10 years ago, I bought a copy of Dr. Atkins New Diet Revolution and read it cover to cover. I started eating a lot more fat and protein, but I'd also get depressed and order pizzas three nights a week.
Last year, as I realized I'd become so bloated that I no longer fit into shirts bought six months before, I decided to go on a diet, but instead of using what I'd read almost a decade ago in Atkins' book, I attempted a high carb, calorie restricted diet and naturally couldn't cope with the sugar highs and crashes to get in shape. I probably couldn't bring myself to give up the safety blanket of comfort foods like macaroni and cheese, pizza, bread, ramen, pasta in sugar-sweetened tomato sauce, etc..
Finally, I accepted that I had to stop eating processed foods and switch to high fat and reasonable protein and small amounts of carbohydrate. I would make it about six to eight weeks and then long for a pizza or a sushi dinner and plan to only have one meal, but the following day, I would be unable to stop myself from having more high carb meals. Then I'd feel bad, go back on low carb until hitting some instance of stress (my aunt saying horribly racist things, a car accident) and cope by eating a pint of ice cream and four Pizza Pops.
Recently, I realized that I'd spent a year trying to improve my body but had now regained the 35 pounds I'd lost and wasted a year of my life working towards a fitness goal, making it about halfway to a healthy body weight and then proceeded to undo even that half-accomplishment. I don't want to waste any more time.
I've been trying to eat less than 20 grams of carbohydrate since May 22, had slip-ups but been able to sustain it for the past 10 days. I've gone from 200 pounds to 189 as of today. I've tried to plan ahead better where I didn't before on previous low carb efforts by:
- Throwing out all my pasta sauces and sugary yogurts and hot chocolate mixes and candy
- Stocking up with enough frozen steak, chicken and lamb for a month and replenishing the supply one week at a time
- Buying a weekly supply of salad greens, zucchini and other vegetables.
- Looking at menus online before going to restaurants with friends so that I won't order foods I shouldn't that will lead to uncontrolled carb binging
- Reading one chapter of one ketogenic diet book every day to keep my body goals and methods in mind
- Warding off cravings for pizza and chips with toasted pepperoni and cheese
- Making air-fried zucchini, chicken wings, zero carb pepperoni sticks and cheese my snacks of choice
- Battling desires for Sour Patch Kids by drinking stevia sweetened coffee with C8 MCT oil and heavy cream
The MCT oil seems to be helping a lot. I'd never had any before, but I've been drinking a spoonful in coffee once a day for the past week and it's helping to reduce food cravings throughout the day.
I don't feel that my desire for pizza and candy and ice cream is physical at this point as much as it's mental, and that will be harder to break. But I don't want to waste another year and undo a lot of hard work and effort.
I don't want to be upset with myself for having undone what was only half of an achievement and I don't want to throw away all the useful information in The Bulletproof Diet, Keto Basics, Dr. Atkins' New Diet Revolution, The New Atkins for a New You and The New Atkins Made Easy. I spent a lot of time reading them, I absorbed that information and I should be using it to improve my life.
Anyway. If I screw up, just to hold myself accountable, I'll probably say so here.