As you may be able to tell from my screen name - June 17, 2010 is a very important day coming up for me - my wedding! And not only is it just a wedding - it is wedding on the beach! Very excited, but I will be even more excited if I can whittle away some of the lbs. before the big day!
I have always struggled with weight - as so many of you have on this forum! I was a chubby kid, but was always active in sports and playing outside. Around the age of 12 I grew a few inches and into my 140lb. body. And from 13 to 15 I lost an additional 20 lbs. from playing sports and nearly starving myself. When I turned 16 I experienced a deep depression due to Generalized Anxiety Disorder(which I wouldn't be diagnosed with until I was 22). I quit the high school soccer team and gained 40lbs in one winter - 40lbs. in one winter! From 120lbs. to 160lbs. That was debilitating. Especially because I thought I was FAT at 120LBS! I spent my entire high school career more self-conscious than I had ever been, and constantly struggling with starvation, binging, laxatives, and crash diets.
By the time I left for college I was approximately 150lbs., and by that time my body had adjusted a bit more to the weight and I could pull it off better. Throughout all of my weight struggles I have always been a moderate to heavy exerciser, and therefore have always looked lighter than I am.
I managed to get through college - with my heaviest weight being 167lbs. and lightest 144lbs. - and graduated around the same weight I went in.
Now here I am 1 year later and about 10lbs heavier - I say 170lb. on my profile because I honestly don't know my weight - due to drinking every single night! It's amazing how boring life can be without homework! And we moved to a dull state known as Wyoming where there is absolutley nothing to do! And now I have approximately 6 months to get down to 140-145lbs. My wedding - possibility of hurricane, drunken relatives, etc... despite those things could only truly be ruined by the fact hat I felt fat and ugly, or if my fiance left me at the altar! Sad to say but my barometer on life relies heavily on my weight.
I have done weight watchers, 3 day diet, atkins, south beach, starvation, 1600 kcals/day all with exercise - and yes they all work. However, low-carb has always given me a sense of control and that my appetite is not completely out of control.
I have used low-carb in the past. and even though I have managed to lose a few lbs. I feel like I never had the tenacity to stick to it for a very long time. I would find myself getting sick to my stomach and anxious. However, I never quit drinking completely so I believe that was the cause of all of the pain.
Therefore, starting tomorrow - Christmas is too cruel a time to start - I will be cutting out the beloved wine and going and Atkins induction.
I'm really excited because I came across Linda's low-carb website and her recipes are amazing, and give me the confidence that I will be able to do true induction this time without having to only eat plain eggs, a salad and chicken breast for dinner. (The website has an induction menu that is amazing!)
Anyway - so I'm not looking forward to the rest of this weekend in which I imagine I will not be feeling well, but am looking forward to taking off ~20lbs. by June!
Wish me luck! I'm scared

Just stopped to say hi and to assure you that you can do it. Congratulations on the wedding! It sounds like a dream.

Hi,

Thank you for your visit to my journal. I tried to private message you but realized you don't have enough posts yet. I definitely feel you hit the nail right on the button regarding anxiety however I can not get a doctor to believe it is anything but stress.

Have you been to a psychiatrist?

I believe that I would need a referral from my family doc in order for the cost to be covered by my insurance plan.

If your doctor is not willing to refer you than you probably need to go to another doctor. It seems incredulous to me that your doctor will not entertain the idea that you may have an anxiety disorder and is unwilling to help you. If your doctor will not refer you, you def need to go to another doctor.

Welcome to the board.