I concur that it is time for you to accept a higher weight.
You've been on this forum longer than I have, and that's going on two decades, so we're probably close in age. I'm in the early stages of menopause. I was happily maintaining my weight in the 130s for most of my late 20s and 30s. It was easy. Heck, I drank LC beer, ate pretty sloppy maintenance LC. No more. Once I turned 40, I started getting "old lady body" pretty quickly.
I don't like it, but you know what?
It's normal.
If you would otherwise have to go hungry, it's not too many calories. No one deserves that. Eat to satisfaction.
Don't look at 50-yr-old Ted Naiman and assume that the average woman can or
should do the same. Women over 40 with very low body fat are either rich enough to afford surgery/personal chefs/trainers, genetically blessed, going to extremes, or have serious health issues going on. You can't cheat time, menopause, hormones and mother nature. There's a reason older women are often referred to as "matronly". It's different than being overweight. It's a natural shift in how and where your body stores fat. There's more fat, it tends to store abdominally, breasts often grow and start "moving South", and there's often minimal fat gain in arms and legs (*raises hand*). That's why we almost look pregnant (except no one's going to see my crow's feet and salt-and-pepper hair and think I'm preggers.
)
Do your best at (a) activity that you don't hate to preserve bone strength and muscle mass, (b) avoiding foods that exacerbate any health issues you might have (your digestion problems?) (c) enjoying foods that minimize fat gain but are
satisfying. Let your body sort itself out and don't obsess over a few pounds of fat. Change your narrative about yourself.
Try subbing "I'm small-boned and 5 lbs really shows" with "I'm getting older, my body shape is changing, and different clothes are flattering on me now." Then go shopping.
Not to be flippant - I have my "fat days", too. But I've accepted that to look like I did in my 20s/30s again, I'd have to get breast reduction/lift surgery, starve, work out like a fiend, and be miserable. It's not worth it to me.
Wishing you continued success... because you're already a success.