Fri, Jun-27-08, 12:18
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Senior Member
Posts: 1,616
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Plan: Atkins
Stats: 182.4/175.8/130
BF:
Progress: 13%
Location: Reynosa, Mexico
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I went SWIMMING
I haven't gone swimming in 6 years (and for like 4 years before that) - and I LOVE LOVE to do it. I LOVE swimming but I haven't let myself because I've been so ashamed for so long.
Something I've figured out though, I was with a man for many of those years (7), he was emotionaly abusive and really drug me down farther than I could taken myself by myself. Don't get me wrong, I let him do it, but I'm just giving background.
During a short break with him (6 years ago) I met a man who constantly built me up and was always telling me how beautiful and wonderful I was. He brought me up out of despair and we went not only swimming but many other things I would have been to ashamed to do. Unfortunatley I left him and went back to the other.
I spent many more years not swimming anymore, once agian too ashamed. Eventually my ex took it too far, thank god one time was all that it took, one time, and I ran and never looked back.
Time passed and I found my now husband. My husband is the most apreciative sweet supportive man I could ever dream of. He's taken his time with me helping to build me up and I've taken a proactive roll by trying my best to listen and BELIEVE.
What I'd really like to get at though, is that no matter what happens - like heaven forbid something happened to my husband - I vow to never EVER let my self-worth be based on another persons opinion of me. It's up to ME, I am the one that has to look in the mirror everyday and apreciate myself. My husband is my lifeboat but I vow to do MY part and never bring him down, and if anything ever happens to him I promise to swim on.
I went swimming yesterday. I'm never going to stop again.
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