Hi I labelled this thread with "triggers?" because on other support groups, you're supposed to, so I didn't know if I needed to here too.

I'm fairly new to the forum. I have posted a few times in the general LC and paleo boards, but really need to come in here.

So, 5 weeks ago, my Dr finally diagnosed me with Bulimia. By "finally" I mean that I have avoided talking to him about my issues, although he knew from the way that I did talk that there were issues there. He knew about my negative relationship with food and that I was binging/ purging, but not to the extent that I actually was.

I also struggle with Depression, Anxiety, and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. *sigh*

Anyway, I finally talked to him and he said he will refer me to someone out of town, because I work in Mental Health (go figure, eh?) and feel uncomfortable talking to my coworkers. Since I live in such a small town, there isn't much else he can do unless I agree to go within my agency. He also decided NOT to medicate me because when first diagnosed with Postpartum Depression, I would constantly go on and off Zoloft. I don't want to take it, and he admitted to giving it to me moreso because he felt that my Ex was emotionally abusive and that if I had it, it would help decrease Ex's negative push for me to "get over it." He was 100% right. It amazes me how much he *knows* without me saying it outright. If he wasn't an MD, he would make an amazing Counsellor. He just picks up on all of those little cues.

I randomy read an article about Depression and how it can be affected by food, which led me to reading about LC WOE, Primal, and Paleo. I would say I'm LC, but working towards being fully Primal. I will be discussing my dietary changes with my Dr at my next visit in 3 weeks.

When planning my meals, I have been eating very well. Not overeating, and not purging. My meat, veggie, and healthy fat intake has increased significantly. I only purge when I have heavy carbs. It's all emotional eating because I lack the ability to cope, or rather I am using bulimia as a coping method. With the lack of help right now, I'm still stuck where I was before seeing the Dr. I have tried going to actual Bulimia support forums, but have found them to trigger a bit and haven't noticed any positive outcome for myself. I saw this board and thought I would try here. I like that it is focused on LC, and that the eating issues are just a sub category, rather than being the focal point.

If anyone has any advice whatsoever, that would be great. I'm open to trying anything. I'm just tired of struggling all of the time.

Congratulations on getting your meals under control with meat and veg. You said you only purge when you have heavy carbs. Can you stop eating all grains and sugar? Also, Overeaters Anonymous always has it's fair share of bulimics (as well as anorexics, interestingly) so you would certainly have other people to learn from and who can learn from you. Attending meetings with flesh and blood people might be more beneficial than on-line bulimic forums.

Although I've never had the other issues that you are dealing with, I used purging as my weight maintenance method for more than 40 years. I never could throw-up, but I used fasting on water only (for up to 2 weeks at a time), diuretic pills, and/or over-exercising (for hours every day). The physical damage I must have done to myself is nothing compared to the emotional damage of knowing I couldn't stop such out of control behavior. During all those years I thought my binging was emotional, but it turned out that it was sugar and starch that was causing all the trouble. I havn't had the slightest desire to binge or purge since cutting them out of my life. Everybody is so different that I don't know whether this is helpful to you or not, but I'd definitely try eliminating sugar and starch and maybe check out an OA meeting to see if you hear anything helpful there. Good luck!

No I can't stop eating grains and sugars.. or well, I don't know how. Well, I know HOW, but it's difficult to explain. I just can't. Not on my own at least.

There are no support groups in my area. I'm from a very small town in northern Ontario. We only have a few mental health workers in the town. The person that my Dr is connecting me with is in a city 2.5 hours away, and since I don't have a car, it will strictly be phone sessions. It's actually an inpatient/outpatient psych ward and they do deal with eating disorders. I will see if Overeaters has a forum, thanks for the suggestion.

It's an addiction because it's both mental and physical.

I used to binge/starve; but in my twenties I managed to come to grips with the emotions I tried to handle with grains and sugars. But I still struggled with weight. I was actually hungry! What now?

It took quite a lot more struggle and study to discover low carb; which shuts off the crazy cravings.

The more I stay away from grains and sugar, the more I can stay away. If you trust that total abstinence will extinguish those cravings, you can come up with some other coping mechanism (which is all it is) and then you really won't want it any more.

Which is a lot better than thinking you have to exert willpower for the rest of your waking life.