I am 45. I have two teenagers and never really thougt about the fact that they would leave me one day. My first son left home last July and I was sad, but happy too. I worried and he was fine, I wanted to hover, but tried to remember when I left home. He lives close and is fine. My youngest is feeling the urge to go now too. This one made me realize that very soon, my husband and I could be all alone again. I understand some people look forward to this day, but for some reason I am totally depressed. (I have a dr. appt in a few weeks in case these feelings don't go away) I am trying to focus on the positive. I went off low carb for a few months because it was "cheaper" to eat the other foods. Then I realized that it was not because I still refused to eat processed stuff and just added whole wheat and some different veges. So I came to the conclusion that I need to put my happiness and health first. This has been quite a shock since I have put my kids and husbands needs first for the last 25 years. I am eating right, exercising and searching for new interests. (hobbies) I guess you could say, I am growing up and getting ready to live life for ME now. WOW. sometimes putting things in writing makes you see how good things can be if you let them. I am sure I will be going up and down for awhile. I will need encouragement, and this is the best place for it. Thanks for letting me vent since my husband isn't feeling the same way I do, he just doesn't "get it". He told me that he is looking forward to us having time to be together alone, and I actually asked him "what if that isn't enough for either one of us?".

It is a life change! To me it is like leaving one room of life and entering another. When our daughter left home, DH made a career change and I finally had the freedom to go on to discover new projects myself. I now have my own small business and love it.

Going through the same thing here and the change is hard. I dreaded the empty nest but find I stay in touch regularly with the kids (daily LOL!) and delight in their ability to manage their own lives as they take surprising twists and turns. It's what we wanted and worked for - right? We should be proud we have independent, functioning, happy young adults. Since recommitting to this WOE takes some focus I am glad for the extra "me time". Now if I could just channel it into some exercise it would be even better. For me, baby steps and keeping my focus forward helps.

My 21 yo DD moved out last month. I'm 42 - had her pretty young so I missed the first childhood somewhat!!!

It was an adjustment from having her around some of the time to living alone. Over the last year she was living here she came home less and less until she eventually figured out that she really didn't LIVE here any more, it was just that her stuff was here and she did her laundry here.

It didn't take too long for me to embrace my aloneness and refocus my life from DD to ME ME ME!!! I began to think about it in terms of being selfish for the first time EVER!

After she moved out, I had a short pity party and then started thinking about all the things that I had wanted to buy for myself but had been hesitant because she's a little heavy handed/careless.

I bought a new digital camera and a plasma TV and am now considering new living room furniture.

It gets better!!!! Hugs!!!!

Julie

Oh dear do I remember,,, it took me a few months and then omg, I got so sad I curled up and cried and cried and cried, my babys are all gone. Well life did change and I think when I decided it was for us and me to live again, I have....
And now that we have moved and have a Rv, 2 of the four got so darn mad at us, 1 doesn't even talk to us. She is out right mad because we aren't there for her if she needs us...The son in NC got mad because we didn't move back there...the youngest two are fine, and we would have thought they would have been the two to pitch the fits.
So my empty nest has been filled with US time and fun times.
You will find it also, you do have to practice dates, and plan things and get back to knowing each other it can be good.

So glad to see you here.... Empty-nesting is tough, but it does eventually have to happen. Measure it as being successful in raising your children! Your feelings are valid - look how many people here have/had the same issue. It will get better for you - just keep hope and dont beat yourself up about it!
Congrats on sticking with the WOE! Keep up the good work.

I have NO CLUE on this, because my oldest is 10 with her 7 year old twin brothers behind her. BUT..... I am apparently going through something ~ that need to find something that is just MINE, so in some ways I can relate.

I give and give and give.... and too often dont do enough for me.

It's funny because the last few years I was thinking to myself how I will do this or how I will finally be able to buy that when both kids are gone, now I feel....I don't know...sad I guess is the only word I can come up with. I talked to some work friends who have been through it and they all have felt the same way. It really does good to talk to all of you and to my work friends. While I don't feel alone, or like I am the only one to ever feel this way, I still feel "off". I started thinking about how old I am getting and it is really bringing me down. I know you are only as old as you feel, but this really, really sucks. The roller coaster emotional ride is going to do me in!! I am kind of wondering in the dreaded menopause is starting too....OMG...

My daughter is 15 and already looking for colleges, I'm already beginning to feel like I'm losing her. When the time comes, I'm going to cry like a baby. Hubby is counting the days until the kids are out, I'm secretly debating over having another child (I'd lose that debate though). I've got a couple years yet, but I do think about it, everday. Letting go is so hard.