I made friends with a woman who was a member of the forum for quite awhile but then dropped out of the forum but not low-carbing. We have had lunch a few times and enjoy visiting and comparing low-carb notes. We had lunch a couple of weeks ago and she expressed that she had dropped out of the forum because she was unable to make more friends and didn't feel a part of things. We discussed some thoughts and I hope she will come back!

1-When you see an interesting post or someone you have something in common with go ahead and drop into their journal to say hello! Some journals are very private but a vast majority of forum members appreciate visitors and support.

2-When you are busy sometimes you can only reply back to a visitor in your own journal. But remember, that person might not see the post you left for them in your own journal or read the comment you left for them.

3- Think of your journal as your online "home" and remember that friendship is mutual.....if you do not visit other people's journals but only "receive" guests they will quit coming over! Friendship needs to be a 50/50 proposition.

4- Be patient. People's lives can be hectic and we can't know for sure why someone hasn't posted in awhile or dropped by to say hello. Even good friends occassionally get out of touch. Drop in and say hello when someone is missing but don't take it personally - life goes on with or without the forum.

5- Avoid arguments and hostility when visiting a journal. It should generally be avoided anyplace on the forum but doing it in a journal is just not good.

6- It is generally not a good idea to respond to other people within someone's journal. Go to that person's journal for the response and let the journal remain that persons.

7- Remember that this is a very different communication method compared to speaking in real time. Don't be too quick to judge comments as you cannot hear the inflection, or at times, fully understand the meaning of a statement. People have different writing styles and it can take awhile to get the hang of someone else's style.

8- If you don't like what is in someone's journal - don't read it! Each of us has a different personality and sometimes we just don't "click". That is okay! No reason to comment upon it.

9- This is such a fabulous way to get to know people that we would never meet in real time. We represent every race, age, geographic location, religion, political view, sexual orientation, socio economic class, etc. etc. etc. We really can learn from broadening our horizons and welcoming this wonderful diversity into our lives. We may not always understand others or agree with them about things but you can be sure that there is something we can learn from each person!

10- Some people are just shy or do not like to communicate in writing very much. They are just as valued on this forum as those of us who are more outgoing and like to write. Everyone has something valuable to add!

I hope that our discussion helped my friend and that she will decide to come back! I am sure others on the forum have ideas as well!

Orchid