The first loss
Having started this WOL one month ago, I never would have expected to be a "loser" of 20 lbs.
I had so many trials and falls, and giving up days on this program, it felt like a life sentence of torture. I was the most hardest on myself and bring tears to my eyes of frustration.
I re-read the book and folded the important pages and made copies of the pages - I was trying - but not getting it right. I lost my attitude, my spirit and became sad, filled with gloom.
I always found some answer or kind word from people here.
No matter how I messed up - like my foray at Taco Bell or the day and night I totally gave up and ate mini Snicker Bars the entire time (which I never posted this failure because I was so ashamed of myself...) I was never critized.
For some reason, this third attempt at Induction on Atkins was working - maybe I had worked out my personal kinks the first 2 times around. Maybe, I just needed to get used to what I was doing.
In the beginning, I fought this WOL, complaining that I was constantly thinking about food, wondering what to eat, how to eat, when to eat, etc. You know - you have all been there.
I fought every carb. I ate and did not drink alot of water.
My liquid of choice at that time was Diet Pepsi or Diet Coke.
Now, I am more confident of myself and have the basics down.
I read labels carefully, maybe not as good as some of the other people who are on the WOL, but it is better than before. Right now, I am not that concerned about the hidden carbs. but I know I will in time. As long as I eat what I have been eating, it will be okay.
I can put items in my cart like Oreos and ice cream and not be bothered by them. Before I began LC, I would open the cartons or bags and eat a few or have some spoons of ice cream while I was putting the groceries away. Unbelieveable!!
Yes, this month as been tough, Thanksgiving and now the other holidays. I'd be kidding myself if I was not worried about them - but I know that if I do make a mistake, I can correct it and carry on. There is always Induction Round #4 LOL.
I was terribly ashamed of the weight I had when I started.
At first I thought the scale was broken, but in fact it wasn't.
It has taken me a month to get back on it and waiting was worth it for me. Now, I have to make sure that I don't become dependent on it. I will put it away for another month. Oh, I know I have a LONG way to go yet, and so much weight to come off -
NOW, I can eat with out worry, and try new things. I do drink more water than before, but I still have some Diet soda pop. I am still tempted by chocolate and heavenly smells that I sniff, but
now I know I can control myself and it helps to have radishes handy in the fridge!!!!
I wish I could thank everyone personally for their advice, suggestions, slivers of hope and always a KIND word. Thank you so much for "being there" and I know that when necessary, you will be there again.
I am glad to finally say:
I AM A LOSER!!!
A Thin Me
December 5, 2001