Lisa, Potatofree...
I would like to reiterate that I DO believe the surgery is needed and it is not the very existence of WLS that I find insulting and offensive. I view WLS as something that helps correct a lack of control. That sounds so bad and judgmental to imply one does not have control, but it is what it is. Control is associated with all things our culture values - strength, power, productivity, efficiency. But, thats what the surgery is. To be an addict is to not have control. The surgery gives control when control does not exist (with food).
Like I said before some people are genuinely
severe eating disordered with food. It is not a choice. I can only imagine how that feels. I have seen the pictures of binge eater's brains, the dopamine receptors burnt out like dim bulbs, just the same as cocaine addicts. There are people so badly addicted to food, they make what I
had at my worst look like strict moderation. I've read the stories of binge eaters driving to McDonalds, ordering meals fit for a family, eating them all, powerless to stop, hating themselves the whole time. I couldn't imagine how horrible that must feel like and I wouldn't dare judge them for "not trying hard enough" on their diet. To have your behavior be that out of control is something I am grateful to never know. If this surgery gives people like that control, then
bless it for it is a god send!
I am not presenting myself as some perfect, ethereal, bastion of otherworldly purity & control, either, just because I happened to lose weight. I know lack of control very well. First of all, I am lucky in so much that
much of my lack of control with food was biologically seeped in a metabolic imbalance. Restoring "control" was as simple as taking medicine (not eating sugar).
I also am lucky that my emotional eating problems were much less severe than many people. Yes, much of it was carbs, but much of it was also simply having no boundaires and limits (a lack of control). This weakness is also what set me up for the problems I struggle with now; one need only read a few pages in my journal to see how I have a control problem yet again, and another eating disorder (establishing boundaries with my weight, the level at which I let it interfere with my life). Much of my "control" with food comes from a
lack of control elsewhere in my life (my irrational, unrelenting phobia of becoming out of control with food again, helplessly & irrationally I harbor a fear that somehow I will gain weight and it won't stop). So I DO know lack of control. I do NOT look down on people who need help because they can't "handle it on their own". I am the LAST one who has the right to that.
I also know the surgery is NOT easy. It does appear that way but it is anything but. I know the struggles of people with this surgery. As someone who has lost massive amounts of weight, I often frequent their communities as we have this in common (it is a great place to find info on handling the problem of skin). I know it is actually very hard to so, and offers unique challenges that dieters do not have to face.
It's just... that man and people
like him embody everything that made me miserable about being fat. I mean come
on; he stopped drinking soda before he decides to mutilate his insides? I know this might not be the whole story and that he is a real person likely being misrepresnted in a movie. Still I
refuse to pretend people who ARE that stereotype exist, there ARE people abusing WLS (and it is industries fault for encouraging it, presenting it as the "hot new diet pill"). Those people strike a deep sensitivity in me. When fat people automatically assumed I was lazy, unmotivated, weak, stupid. I was beneath consideration. You are correct
it is my issues here. I admit that up front, and have consistently in this thread.
I know it is my issue that leaves me sensitive like this, but then again, isn't it your issues making you take offense with my issues?
Isn't it your fear of judgment for your weight that may be influencing your strong feelings for my strong feelings?
We all have our sensitivities, and obese people who "fit the stereotype" are a big one for me. I have a problem because it is my deepest, darkest fear I will become
like that. I view my "fat self"
as the obese stereotype. Fat is more than 150 pounds to me. Fat is the discordant nightmarish music that was the invisable hum of judgment and scorn and ridicule from everyone. Fat was unacceptable and unworthy. I am so sensitive; I could feel it so deeply, even when nothing was said at all. Soon I engendered it in myself and endogenously produced hatred on my own, without any impetus. I was very self loathing. Even when away from the hatred of the world (when I became more or less reclusive in my late teens) I still was never away from it; after all, I had to be with myself, and I hated my "fat" more than anyone else could possibly imagine.
Yes, I won't pretend my sensitivities aren't why I take such a sensitivity about this.
Then again, to go back to the analogy of Chris Rock and that infamous comedy routine... it's actually very common to feel that way when you have lived your whole life judged and ridiculed because of a feature you have no control over. You start to fear and feel you are that way, you begin to overcompensate, and you come to be very sensitive to anyone who DOES so happen to reinforce that stereotype.
Also, to put aside emotions for a second, it IS bad, objectively, that people are using WLS like this. I admit personal conflict is why I personalize it so much (why I find it "offensive"). That still doesn't change the fact it is wrong. There are two sides to every story though. I'm sure no one intends to do something wrong, and maybe these people just don't realize what they're getting into. I don't know. I guess I should just drop this issue.