I have a friend. She has been skinny all her life without effort. Every time she comes to watch movies together, she brings pizza/soda/ice cream or other High-Carb treats. She knows I’ve always been struggling with all kind of diets. If I refuse, she starts to tease me (like "come on, just a slice/a glass/a scoop won’t hurt"); if I accept, again, she starts to tease me (“Are you going to make a gastric bypass?” or “Have you ever heard of colon cancer? You should eat more soup!”). One day she was vaunting because she made her sister-in-law cheat and forget about diet and that poor girl even gained

OK, I know, I shouldn’t be friend with a person like this and I often try to ignore her. But I have other people like her in my life and I can’t ignore them (i.e. my father). My father’s coming home in a week and he’s going to drive me insane: “How many eggs do you eat?”, “Drink a glass of wine with us. We should celebrate!”, “Bring that cake!” etc.

Last week I was at a picnic. I refused beer (I hate alcohol!) but finally they convinced me, I drank – twice! - I don’t even like the taste! I’m too weak and shy to refuse someone (especially when they're older than me).

So how do we refuse this type of people? I know it all depends of the relationship we have with that person, but I’m looking forward to hear about your experiences, please!

Holy moly.

Repeat ad neauseum (to yourself first to build confidence, if necessary) "That food makes me ill, no thank you".



She's not even making sense here. You say, "...and your reason for asking this is what?" Again, repeat if she gives you another question or say it makes you ill. Don't explain futher. Repeat either one until she gives it up.

It sounds kinda rude but I'm presuming you've explained the WOE before. Don't get sucked into explaining it again. Say it all with a smile!

I tell people I have an intolerance to sugar and to glutens/wheat.

People seem to take issue with personal choice, but as soon as you make it a physical/medical issue, they won't argue.

If all else fails, throw up on her shoes.

Practice, practice and practice.... the more times you say no and stick with your refusal, the easier it will get. Sometimes just being frank "no thank you. I dont eat ice cream." But its so goooood.... just a bite.... "again, no thank you. I dont eat ice cream - I will not feel well after eating it, but thanks for the offer." If your friend is persistant(rude!) enough to keep asking I dont think you are being rude by persistantly declining the offer. If you stick to your guns I dont think you will find the situation recurring with the same people. Also its ok not to be a people pleaser - you have to look out for yourself and if that takes saying no once in a while that is totally ok! Good luck.

Hi Sweetie...

I want to add that even aside from confidence, it really is a little easier to say no to people, when you already have a few days of eating on plan under your belt. If I'm off-plan for example... I doubt I'd trust myself to see a friend who is always bringing pizza and junk food around.

If you need to get back on plan after not being on plan, I say make your own version of whatever you're craving, but make it lc.

And always eat! before going out, and before you meet friends or have family meet-ups. It is a lot easier to say "no thank you", if you have eaten and already supplied your body with the correct mix of nutrients and an adequate number of calories.

Nobody could fight all the family get togethers, sabotaging friends coming over with pizzas, and all kinds of other "celebrations" (in other words; excuses for other people to eat even more badly than usual!) ... nobody could fight any of all these different things, if we all had to face these things on empty stomachs, with weak bodies due to insufficient calories until that point in the day, or low blood sugar (and/or also spiked blood sugar, from maybe already having maybe eaten something off plan that day).

It is easier to stay strong, and on plan, for as long as you are being good to your body and brain and already giving them what they need. I think that's where it starts. Otherwise, it's a losing battle from the start.

You can't just use willpower alone, in other words. You have to make sure that your body also already is getting, what it's telling you needs.

Also... on a more practical note; with parents and around family members, I need to make sure that I eat enough of what IS allowable for me. No one else will make sure that I've done that. That's up to me to be responsible for.

But with friends who come over with food for movies and things like that, I say, always have something around that you can eat too.

Regardless of what anyone says, the fact is, that eating is a social activity sometimes in our society. Sure, you can say "no" sometimes. We all can! But what about the times you don't want to say no?

Thin carrot sticks and some homemade hummus from the fridge are a great idea, if you want to eat something while your friends are eating too. I've never been stalled by raw veggies with hummus, even when I was A LOT thinner than now.

What about a little plate for yourself, just with slices of dry salami, with some crunchy pepper slices arranged nicely around it, while your friend is eating the pizza? Or what about making two cakes, when you make one for your father? A smaller second one, so that way you could always have a slice when your family does. Just cut yours into portions and freeze them individually wrapped, and only ever keep one thawed in the fridge. I used to always make cakes using 100% substitution of almond flour in the recipe, instead of regular flour, and they came always came out fine... and LC, that way.

I think it's just as important to have some extra things that you can eat, as it is to be able to say no sometimes.

And my family, when I see them, are also like yours... so I really do understand how hard is to be critisized by grandparents or aunts or whoever it may be when we put on weight, and then having to always fight them with all our strength when we're fat, and they want to keep offering us things that will not allow us to start to lose anything at all either. I really, really get it, sweetie.

It is simply rude for friends to not hear a "no thank you". This kind of begs the question. How do you deal with rude friends. One thing that is not helpful is to tell them they are rude. Perhaps something along the line of "If your respect me, you will respect my saying 'no thankyou' " Or privately tell them that it is hurtful to you to be treated that way. If they are deliberately disrespectful or hurtful get better friends.

Thank you for your kind and supportive words, I really do appreciate them!

Sometimes you just have to toughen up and learn how to say "no" and really mean it. I know it's tough when you're young but learn now and you'll save yourself a lot of trouble.

"No, thank you."
"Sorry, I'm on a diet."
"Are you trying to sabotage my diet?!" (if it's a friend)
(when friend starts eating food) "I can see your arteries clogging up right now."
The last one really discourages people from offering you food.

Perhaps you've made yourself a game.

After all, if you give in, and people know it, they will keep after you until they do get you to give in.

It's a stupid game, and it's stupid to play it, but obviously they are clueless about something to keep persisting. Perhaps you have a slot among your family and friends where they think you must like it; or you wouldn't put up with it?

Whatever the reasons, give them some thought, and practice saying NO. You can say it politely, but firmly, and then turn it into a game on them; how far will they go, making fools of themselves, by not listening to you?

Because that is what it is.

Despite all you might say, all you have to say is: No, thank you.

^^^^^That.

...but my favorite and I can promise you, they will NEVER push food on you again.

Take the offending item.

Say thank you.

Walk to the garbage can in full visual site of the food pusher.

Throw the offending item in the garbage or down the drain.

Do not comment about your action.

That will be the end of it.

Trust me.

cnmLisa

You are my hero!

Lisa, that is totally beautiful!!! I wish I'd thought of it myself, but now I've got that final weapon ... THANK YOU!

As I'm sure you've found out, when you hit goal and you're on maintenance, some people become even more insistent that you "at least try it!" -- "what can it hurt now?" ... most of my friends don't bother any more but new acquaintenances can still not get the message. Thanks to you, that will be a thing of the past!

PS: -- I do try the "mom look" first ... sometimes it works!!

Awesome ideas!
Thank you

Negociate.

Tell them not to bug you and that in return you will not bug them about a delicate issue.

I don't like throwing food away. It's OK when seeing this done in a film but not in real life.