Well, as it turns out our dinner guest's dad had more going on than just pulmonary hypertension...so her info wasn't really helpful.

This is all so frustrating. I've talked with the doctors and viewed multiple reputable websites and I've come to the conclusion that yup, mom is just a ticking time bomb.

1. Too much fluid retention means her lungs will fill up and she won't be able to breath...resulting in the worst.
2. Congestive heart failure means eventually her heart will give out, resulting in the worst.
3. Less mobility means loosing muscle mass and balance issues which leads to falls, which could result in the worst.
4. Her sudden anemia means there aren't enough red blood cells to use the oxygen, even if it does get to her lungs, which causes them to not work, resulting in the worst.
5. Her kidneys are working triple time trying to get the fluid out with the lasix, and there is noticeable damage to them already, and if her kidneys give out the fluid won't be able to exit her body, filling up her lungs, and resulting in the worst.

Any of the above are in the high probability range at this moment. The lung doctors feel her heart will give out first, and she does go through random periods of ULTRA high heart rate... she lives at around 100 beats per minute on a normal day, which is already very high. This week she told me her apple watch told her her heart rate was 167 for about 20 minutes and then back down to 100. Three months ago her heart rate was over 130 for a full 24 hours and they had to shock her heart to get it to go back down to a normal rhythm.

The heart doctor thinks the fluid accumulation will be her end because either her kidney function will worsen, or she doesn't eat low sodium enough and she retains fluid, or the lasix is known to become less effective, or even if she gets a cold during cold and flu season that is upon us...any of those could fill up her lungs.

She is a time bomb, and all we can do is wait. In the meantime, she actually did cook dinner last night which made her very happy. Cooking, with the standing and moving involved, has become very difficult for her. She only does it 1-2 times per week, and she LOVES to cook, so that is really weighing on her mental state. She actually called herself lazy the other day, which is just ridiculous, and I told her so, but for now all we can do is wait and see.

Thank you for letting me vent everyone...I know I haven't been interactive much, I just have too much in my head, but it helps to type it out :- )

Hugs susumi, knowledge is power.

Caco, wow, thanks for that comprehensive update. I really appreciate it. It helps one knowing what’s happening and what to expect.

Prayers for you and your Mom. And lots of hugs. Try to enjoy all the moments you have left together. We are here for you.


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Sep 30-196.6
Oct 1–195.2
Oct 2–193.2
Oct 3–194.0
Oct 4–193.0



No school for the kids or teachers (my son) today, he made ham and cheese crepes for brunch. I couldn’t refuse, 456 calories, 28 carbs. Guess it’ll have to be all meat for the rest of the day. I’ve got a pork roast marinating in apple cider, easy to control the food since I’m doing 95% of the cooking.

Trying to make 192 by Sunday, striving to get back in the 80’s stat! I can taste ‘em. : I can do it!

.

CaCO - thank you for sharing the updates on your mom. what a frustrating balancing act. praying for strength and peace for you and your family. Also sending lots of hugs.

I ended up weighing myself yesterday, after all. Scary number in just a few days, but I think I am still bloated. Cramps are mild today.

01-Oct-19 241.0 -
02-Oct-19
03-Oct-19
04-Oct-19 244.0 1.5
05-Oct-19 243.0 0.5

10/1 - 226.5
10/2 - 227.6
10/3 - 228.2
10/5 - 227.0

I’m really bad at this weight-loss thing. It’s gonna take a miracle to get to where I want to be.

Caco - I second (third?) what Heidi and Sosumi said. Also I’m glad you’re still watching your carbs and trying. You did so great to get where you are, you don’t want to lose all that and we all know how easy it comes back.

Heidi - how wonderful that your grandkids have you there. You sound like a wonderful grandma with all of your baking with them and such. Glad you’re having fun and killing it weight-wise as well.

Sosumi - I’m really sorry you’re having to worry about all of that. Sending you hugs as well. Hope you feel better today.

My overall goal is 195 for now. Once I get below 200 I'll focus on staying below 200. If I feel motivated to lose more I will but I'll think about that then.

10/1 273.1
10/2 272.3
10/3 272.4
10/4 271.6
10/5 270.7

I haven't seen the 260's since I got married 8 years ago. Hopefully tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow is a higher carb count day. We will go have some yummy Mexican food. Its planned. I will eat tortillas and chips and a lot of cheese but that will be the extent of the carby-ness. I eat about a spoonful of rice and nothing sugary. I'm planning dinner Sunday so school will me to be on track. I expect a little jump Tuesday. It seems to show up a day later on me for some reason. I did this a couple weeks ago and it calmed my desires enough to keep me focused and no deprived. I once took a diet survey and it said I needed to allow myself "cheat meals". Maybe they were right?

Caco, I hope your mom's days ahead are as fulfilling and memorable for her as possible. Make those memories together

Yesterday we took Mom to our softball game, went out for a late lunch and got her ears pierced...her holes had closed up. It kind of felt like a bucket list sort of day, so it was both nice and sad. Her oxygen levels were monitored closely and she did okay...not great, but okay. The good news is she had a great time and thanked me for a wonderful day.

So sad :- ( She also couldn't get in any of her lasix so I'm expecting her weight to be WAY up...hope I'm wrong.

Today there is a big wig meeting at work that several people have flown in for, so I get to work...yay! (NOT)

10/1 - 226.5
10/2 - 227.6
10/3 - 228.2
10/5 - 227.0
10/6 - 227.0

Had a good eating day yesterday and got in a little exercise at the mall.

CaCo3- that sounds like a great day. So sweet!

Ang - so happy for you. You are doing great.

CaCO - that day with your mom sounds fun!

Kit - I hear you! I am struggling too!

Ang - keep going! yay!

Heidi - still with the grandkids?

I made terrible choices this weekend. Feeling really bummed about what I am researching about a total hysterectomy. Sigh. Gotta get out of this rut. I appreciate all the kind words and support from all of you.

01-Oct-19 241.0 -
02-Oct-19
03-Oct-19
04-Oct-19 244.0 1.5
05-Oct-19 243.0 0.5
06-Oct-19 244.5 2.0

10/1 - 226.5
10/2 - 227.6
10/3 - 228.2
10/5 - 227.0
10/6 - 227.0
10/7 - 226.8

Sosumi - all I can say about total hysterectomy is that it seems many women have had them and been fine (at least on the outside). Maybe this is a case where too much research is not your friend? I don’t know, just want to send some positive vibes your way.

Got home today, did great all week, then ruined it over the weekend! Did not weigh last 3 days. Ah well, such is life.

Onward and Downward.

Sosumi, I had a partial hysterotomy and know woman that had a total. I haven't heard any bad stories except for years later they have bladder issues. That seems pretty common. I know it will be fine for you too.

10/1 273.1
10/2 272.3
10/3 272.4
10/4 271.6
10/5 270.7
10/6 271.1
10/7 272.4

There is that jump from my splurge meal Sunday afternoon. Already doing well today. Skipped lunch (busy) and had my shake at 3:30 after school. Dinner with DH at Five Guys...bunless burger, peanuts and a couple of their hand cut fries.

Kit - wise words. Thank you.

I didn't do much research at all, just whether to have cervix removed or keep it and was quite surprised at what I found on very reputable medical sites. Very personal issues I hadn't even thought would be a problem. Things women wouldn't discuss.

Heidi - i'm not weighing either, I was too bad on the weekend.

Ang - thank you for sharing your experience.

I ate ok yesterday, but the weekend is still with me.