I have been on a weight loss and gain rollar coaster for about a year now, seeing my low weight of 133 in August and then perhaps my highest weight since I've been dieting of 170 by January. Right now I am sitting at around 165, and I am *still* struggling with my binge eating and warped relationship with food.

I just happened to find some older pictures of me back in August, when I was at my lowest weight. I remember all I could see at the time was the negative- how much more I had to lose, getting into that next lower size in jeans, etc. But now that I have re-gained so much, seeing those pictures are like a slap of reality in the face.

I WAS MAKING SUCH AN ACCOMPLISHMENT! Why couldn't I see it back then? Why did it take gaining almost all the weight back to see what I had?

The point of this ramble. Don't be critical of yourself. Don't let your internal voice tell you that your accomplishments so far are small things, because trust me, they aren't. And I took the hard route. I can now only appreciate what I had now that it is gone. Don't give up and let the same thing happen to you.

Good for you!! You are learning the hard way but you are learning!!

Keep at it, it does get better and you will find a way to be at peace with your food and your body.

Our internal voice does try to sabatoge us... if we let it. I fight back by forcing my mind to think about things that I want it to think about. Its good that you've got those pics of you at a low weight so that you can use them to force your mind to think about that when it wants to think about all that other negative stuff!!

You are doing it!!

I couldn't agree more!! The most important bit of any journey, is to learn along the way, and it sounds to me that you have learnt a very valuable lesson!!

I too am guilty of only looking at the road ahead, never to how far I have already come.

Thank you for pointing it out. It's valuable advice for people just starting out.

The same thing happened to me. I had lost weight then I got scared and backed away. I was afraid of being sexually harrassed. I had memories of that in my past, but now I feel I put them behind me and I think that helped me give myself this gift because to me losing weight is a form of self respect, not just for my body, but for my opinion and my desires. I believe people have trouble losing weight because of outside influence, so you have to be stronger on the inside, but at the same time seek support, like this forum, when you feel down. This is a lifelong struggle of emotions and maintenance will also become an issue. So seeking support and also being heard is an important part of our journey.