The last few days I've been thinking about how people don't have an accurate perception of their own body. I've initiated coversations with several women I know and its always come out the same, they perceive themselves to be a more extreme case(either bigger or smaller than they are). For example, my mom is really rather thin, very tiny actually, and she looks at women like Calista Flockheart and says "Do I look that sickly skinny?" whereas I look at bigger women I know and am like "Am I as big as her?" How many of you do that?

The odd thing is that even at 250lbs on my 5'4" frame, I always accepted myself for what I was, and how my body was. I could see beauty in my body. I think that is one thing that makes me glad I was big at one time(once I've lost the weight, I will NEVER let myself gain it back) I have friends who are size 7's, or size 5's and they don't have an appreciation for their own bodies like I do, even when I outweighed them by 100+lbs...its fascinating in a sad way how warped our perceptions are of our own bodies.

I think almost everyone compares themselves to others - or tries to. I know that whenever I see someone that is about my height and really big, I have the urge (never followed up on) to ask them how much they weigh so that I can get an idea of what I look like to others. But I have found, through comments by others regarding me and someone else who's weight I happen to know, that I look quite a bit smaller than most people my weight do. At my heaviest, most people thought I was in the high 200's and they were universally shocked to discover that I was pushing 400 read hard.

I'm always looking at other people comparing what I think I look like next to them. Often I sadly think I look like the bigger ones, but I don't feel that big.

The real shocker comes from photos. When you are caught in a moment, the pictures are worse than real life. When you are looking at someone who is moving, speaking, etc, you see the whole person, but when you see a photo, you are only getting a 2 dimentional view.

I, too, didn't look my weight when I was at my heaviest. I was 251.5 at my heaviest, and I'm only about 5'4" so that's a lot of weight to be carrying around...but most people I knew thought I weighed about 180-190(so I'm hoping when I weight 150 that I'll look even less then!) I think the fact I didn't look as heavy as I was is what saved me from having a worse body image.

I agree about the photos. I have taken an "after 30lbs lost" photo and I almost don't want to get it developed. I'm afraid its still going to look 'fat' to me. I will though so I can compare with old pictures.

No one ever guessed that I weighed 264 lbs at my heaviest and I wasn't about to tell them the truth. Most people I discussed it with guessed about 180 lbs. I think that was a bad thing for me because it caused me to denigh the fact that I was so much overweight. Even though I have lost 17.5 lbs NO ONE has noticed any difference in the way I look nowdays I have a LARGE frame so I guess alot of places to spread the weight and also the weight loss.....

I hate having photos taken of me. 99% of the time I hate the look of myself, but as I go about daily life in this body I dont feel THAT bad about the way I look. How goofy is that?

Akiwican

Yes i admit i have compared other people to my self.. I worked with a lady who said she wore a size 18 when i infact was a 20 then.. i was like do i look that big... Some one told me no i didnt.. I learned then that everyone gains weight differently.. i gained alot in my back and midsection.. where others gain it in other places and can wear the smaller pants.. I now have more appreciation for how i look.. I still feel big even though ive gone down from a 20 to a 14.. but its slowly changing to where Im getting happy and appreciate all thats has been acomplished.. I know now the main thing in life is to feel healthy and work towards being more healthy than just to look skinny.. My health i know has improved i can now walk around a mall with out having to stop to catch my breath and being give out... I dont care if i get as skinny as i use to be.. i just want to be at a healthy weight and feel good..... So dont compare your self to everyone else is my moto... We all have a inner beauty no matter how we may look.. Thats more important .. And strive to be healthy instead of skinny.
Just my 2 cents worth

Tammy

For the first several pounds, no one really noticed my weight loss, but people would tell me how good I looked, but they couldn't place what was different. I too have a large frame so you're right, if the weight is spread out then its harder to notice. I'm having a hard time SEEING the weight I'm losing now despite the fact that my measuring tells me that I am losing inches. Actually I take that last statement back, I have noticed this week that the definition of my waist is coming back. If my shape stays the same(but just get smaller) I'll be happy because its a nice hourglass shape.

I used to do that comparison thing compulsively--especially when I was married, first anorectic, then regaining after the starvation years. I drove my ex CRAZY with saying, "am I as fat as her?" "Do I look that THAT from behind?" I had NO idea! And I was panicked.

I'm not sure my idea is 100% accurate today, but I feel no panic and ask no one and don't compare because I think almost everyone is beautiful. (okay, I confess, a number of models and actresses look gawdawful thin to me).

But this weekend when I was garage sale hopping, I pulled out a pair of jeans, held them up, thought, "nah, way too small for me"--then found the size (12), held them up to ME, and they'd have fit perfectly. lol--so I clearly am not 100% in agreement with reality yet! I've been wearing shorts lately and if I catch a surprise reflection of myself, I think my thighs look thin. If I purposefully look at them, they still seem large. Nice, but large.

I recognize your story about the jeans. I will pick up pants and by how they feel in my hands I'll be like "no they won't fit" or "yes these feel right" but the problem is that I've been wrong because I'm not as big as I was before I started LCing. So my perception still is sometimes that I'm bigger than I am.

My perception of myself is helped by the fact that I have a very EVEN body, I don't carry my weight in one place so I am a big hourglass. I joke with one of my thin friends who is also an hourglass that she's just timing a minute and I'm timing an hour! lol

I think alot fo us have maybe for the first time built lean muscle in this new way of life and the muscle looks(from the outside and inside) much nicer than fat. So it's gonna take us a bit to realize that we are all really smaller than we think. I think thats what keeps us humble!!!

We have to remember that we have worked hard to get where we are and we need to take ownership of our new selves!!!

So lets be proud and smile and glow!!

Sonja

I agree! I think that we all need to just stop and look at ourselves and say "Ya know what, This is Me and I'm beautiful!"
Its amazing how much we all put ourselves down and its really sad because I haven't come across a person on this forum who I didn't think was beautiful inside!