Hi Marrah!
I see that you've gotten some really good feedback already.
I'd like to add that, to me, this falls under the heading of being human. We all compare ourselves to others, its what we do with the info we get when doing it that counts.
You are also entering what I call 'learning to manage our internal dialogue' area of personal growth. If we act on every single bit of mental chatter that our mind engages in, we'll go nuts trying to get anything done and accomplished. Thats why I put the words "make better choices" under my name. We have to keep our ultimate goals in sight and discard much of the chatter that goes on in our minds as just that, uselss chatter!
Its kind of like having an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other, both whispering in your ear. Which one do you listen to?
We all should be striving to be better versions of ourselves. IMO, you are embarking on this road now by being transparent about your thoughts. Thank you for being so honest.
I seem to have managed to get my head around this when it comes to food and eating. Other aspects of my life needs lots of work!!
oy....
My maintenance is basically built around a +3 lb limit, I can work within that range. Others can make it work within a +10 lb range but who am I to judge how or what they do...as long as they do make it work for them....if they make it work that way!!
I have had to make rules for myself about certain foods. I think that you need to do this also. I can't buy cashews to keep in my home because if they are here, I have no control over eating them. When I'm out and about, I'll pick up a 1-1.5 oz snack bag and thats it for me. I can keep 1 lb of almonds here for ages, no problem....basically because they don't do it for me the way cashews do.
So, if you have a nut problem, and I think that you do based on what you wrote in your journal, what rule are you willing to make for yourself about nuts?
Hope this helps!