Sometimes you just have to ignore what's there & say nothing.

I work in an enclosed room with upwards of 6 other people, most of whom are men. You think women are evil? Men are just more forthright about it!

Supervisor is a big believer in very-low-calorie. He's dropped a bunch of weight, but not very healthily, and has a tendency to binge if he gets the chance. The very short story? He complains bitterly and loudly about how restrictive his diet is and how hungry he always is. One of my co-workers is "The Guy Who Can't Gain Weight", and thus will bring a box of doughnuts as his lunch -- and eat them in front of the supervisor, offering him one (or more).

I've asked Mr. CoWorker if he's deliberately trying to sabotage Mr. Supervisor. His answer? "Yes. His constant b*tching about his diet is annoying and just makes me want to cram food down his throat."
Supervisor's wife has even stopped by (she works for the same company) and yelled at the Co-Worker (and the rest of us in the process) for not being supportive.

The problem is, it's hard to be supportive when someone else is mentally keeping track of your calorie count and pointing it out constantly. It's hard to deal with your own fooding issues when someone else in the office is insisting that you put their needs first. It's hard to get support from your CoWorkers when they're already trying to sabotage someone else's efforts just to get them to shut up (not really realizing that they're making things worse). The worst part is when you realize you just can't walk away from it. Because that IS your office.

I feel for those of you who are in offices with coworkers who are trying to sabotage your efforts. But if you can get away from the saboteur? Do it. Maybe ask why they're trying to sabotage you - is it you, or is it them? But definitely, if you can pick another path to your destination, try the alternate route for a bit.

In the meantime, I'm going to be sitting at my terminal, telling my boss to just bloody well EAT something if he's THAT hungry...

This is too funny.

Too bad she's gone on to the silent treatment phase. If there were still chocolates around - what if a chocolate bunny showed up with pins stuck in it like voodoo? talk about head trips!

A can of pate foie gras! I'd be licking your desk if you put one out.

I swear the gods are looking down and having a good old laugh at my expense. This afternoon the powers-that-be decided I should have someone to help and back me up for those times when I need to be away. Apparently the last time I was away for a week there was a crisis. This would be good, except guess who they want my back-up to be? Yep. I couldn't think quickly enough to raise any 'professional' objections and she's the only one with enough time on her hands to step in. So now I have to work more closely with her and train her in certain aspects of my job. Just when I felt I had a gameplan for the chocolate situation, suddenly chocolate seems like the least of my worries. I mean, seriously, what are the odds of this happening at this time?

Does she need to come over to your desk to train? Get the liver out! Actually, all the beef sticks, cheese sticks, hard boiled eggs, and whatever fatty stuff you can manage. Make sure to offer them to her frequently.

Boy, never in my life have I been more glad to say the following two things:
1) I really dislike chocolate
2) I am self-employed

Seriously, perhaps you could put your chocolate refusal onto someone else. For instance you could say that your doctor believes that you have pre-diabetes and you are not allowed to have and type of candy no matter how much you may like or want it. That way, if you are following someone else's directive, it may defuse what appears to be a power struggle. If she is indeed testing your willpower, it no longer becomes a battle of the wills. If you have no free will on the subject then the offering, irrespective of motivation, becomes pointless on an obvious level. If she tries to tell you to ignore your doctor's directives, be shocked. Because obviously you should be shocked. As a physician, I must say that nothing is more gratifying than seeing a patient make positive changes. In fact you could talk to your doctor about it. It might help in a number of ways. And if you work with someone who ultimately makes it clear that she would try to sabotage a diabetic against doctor's orders, then I think you've learned something valuable about their entire work ethic. Just a thought.

That is really challenging; dealing with obnoxious people is even worse than refusing chocolate!

But look at what has happened; the "threat" of chocolate has actually dwindled! Use that moving forward; there are bigger challenges here.

She was pulling these stunts to gain power over you, and the game board has flipped! As the trainer, who is obviously vitally important to the organization, YOU now have all the power.

Use that power wisely. Let her know that she needs to buckle down and learn the ropes... or you will have to report back that she's not up to it!

Either way, fate has handed you a most wonderful and positive lever to either put this person into a more appropriate headspace, or make it clear she will not be a valuable and cooperative employee moving forward.

This cheered me up this morning. She will have to sit at my desk for training and if I'm away. She's a vegetarian so leaving beef sticks and liver and big ol' greasy chops from lunch on my desk during training would be payback for the chocolate big, big time! (Insert evil laugh here).

I gotta say I'm impressed by your ability to turn everything into a positive, Werebear. You've had so many dealings with people and human nature and thank you for sharing your wisdom.

This really is going to be challenging but I'm gonna keep my focus on being professional and not get consumed by this personal stuff. And, afterall, the chocolate incident opened my eyes to so many things; without it I'd have gone into this new situation like a lamb to the slaughter.

I wish I was self-employed too, Corsair, but at least I'm beginning to really dislike the thought of chocolate.

Bacon should be some pretty darned good payback!

I think this may be my new favorite quote *EVER.* Thank you LilyB

WhoFan - you are gorgeous. You are a true inspiration to me, as I make this journey. Someday I wish to have a "during" or "after" picture like yours!
~Chris

instead of putting out foods that she likely finds gross, I would go with veg friendly foods, which are "healthy" but we lowcarbers know are really fattening- like granola bars- bonus points for the chocolate covered ones. Or the insidious things like skinny cow candies.....bwah ha ha!

Whofan- great job handling this difficult situation with aplomb. Don't put meat out even though you can enjoy the mental images that come from the idea. But you know that you will be the adult and the professional here. I know you won't sink to her level and I think we are all proud of how you've handled the situation.

What a great reward and opportunity you have now. This has already made you smarter, wiser, and more savvy. You will forever have better work relationships as a result. And you will become the kind of professional that others aspire to be. As you rise above it all, look down with humility on yourself, not your colleague. Set the example and maybe she will want to emulate you. If not, that's her business. But you might be exactly the person she needs in order for her to grow and mature as well.

If I had to work for someone, I would want it to be someone like you!

OMG that's just evil....and a fabulous idea. Where can I buy chocolate covered granola bars by the gross?

Vavcon, thank you for your kind words. You're in the right place with this forum to get all the support you want to reach your goals. As witnessed by this very strange thread right here.

Corsair: Your words truly touched me. I'll try to live up to them. Thank you.

So Whofan, what's happening here? How are things going for your crazy situation?

donna