This fits perfectly into my Feast or Famine Theory: In times of low-fat and high-carbs, conservation kicks in, and EVERYTHING must be conserved, if you catch my drift. Also, in times of famine (which your husband is in, believe it or not), the reproductive cycle shuts down, because obviously a famine is no time to be getting your mate pregnant.

Take him off the drugs, put him on an ultra-high fat, low-carb diet, and call me in two months.

You can do it!

If only it was that easy. He won't eat how I want him to, and frankly it just isn't worth fighting about anymore. I never thought this day would come so early in my life. I need the affection, but I can't get it from him. I have tried to talk to him about it, but, just like his father, he has no interest in talking about it, or doing anything about it. Maybe I should get him drunk, and make him open up!!

My heart goes out to you. If you'd like me to talk to him on the phone, send me a PM. I've done it before, and it would be no problem.

I'm very good at telling people what they don't want to hear.

I can only *imagine* what would happen AFTER he got off the phone with you. I doubt it would be pleasant.

I thought that's what you wanted?

Just kidding!

I talk to him very frankly, and he has told me that if I need to have an affair just to do it, but don't throw it in his face!! WTF is that????? I should mention that I talked to his mom and she said that her and his dad haven't "slept together" in 8 YEARS!!!
GREAT. I will just get a hobby!! has anyone tried knitting?? I think walking more would help me to burn off any frustrations too. Thanks for all of your input. And....there is no way that I would EVER have anyone else talk to my DH about this problem. He feels crappy enough. I just need to talk about it sometimes!!

My heart goes out to you shewolf, he has put you in a position he never should have.

Kidding or not, I'm not the one with the problem.

Sorry! My mistake. I thought you were the OP by the way you said that.

3shewolf8,
I sympathesise with you on this issue and know from 1st hand experience exactly what you are feeling! I have been married 21 years (together 24). The 1st 13 yrs were great, then DH stacked on heaps of weight.....Intimate life progressively went out the window.....My youngest 2 children were conceived in years when sex was like twice a year! They were meant to be.... This now leads into a remark made by
jef - az,
My DH was also diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnoeh. Once treated with a CPAP machine to help him breathe, he still had zero desire. I encouraged a doctor visit and he was told that he did have low testerone levelbut the Doc. told him that with diet & exercise the situation should improve. Hmmmmmm. Yeah right! This was about 3 years ago. Eventually DH went back to work as a bricklayer.......now the exercise at work has improved his 'desire' but he still suffers from degrees of impotence and it's over way too quick. I have recently asked him to find a new Doc or Urologist and have the testerone levels re-tested and hopefully get some rightful treatment. He just doesn't want to face it!

3shewolf, It has been hard and at times I've thought it would be easy 'to go elsewhere' but this is not what I want.............it would make an already difficult situation even worse and your DH is already suffering. He may tell you to go and have an affair but this is just because he doesn't know how to talk about/face up to what is happening to him. My $0.02 is to keep trying to talk to him and see if you can get him to a doctor. Something is going on and hopefully a doctor will get to the bottom of it ~ and treat it!!!!!

Jeff - az, So sorry you lost your relationship to this; there will be someone else out there for you! BTW, it was great to hear the point of view from a man suffering sleep apnoeh (sp?)

Sandra

Really?? Sleep apnea causes decreased sex drive? I seriously didn't know that either! He really doesn't have a chance. I believe that he has that too, but he won't get tested. I have actually watched him napping, and noticed sometimes he "holds his breath" for a while. It scares me, and I wake him up. Does snoring implicate sleep apnea too? Because it's like he is snoring, then he just stops breathing for a while.

3shewolf8, please read the lengthy post above your last one as I edited it.

Sandra

This sounds just like sleep apnoeh. He must get this treated! In Australia, we have clinics now that will treat without having all the testing done; that's how prevalent it is over here. My DH would sit on the side of the bed and sleep, often falling forward into the wall. This went on for some 2 years before a Dr. finally diagnosed it and sent him to a specialist. He would be in the middle of a conversation and just "drop off to sleep" mid sentence! I KID YOU NOT!!!! He was a severe case.

Download some info from the Internet and give it to him to read - he may see that it is now common and nothing to be ashamed of............a CPAP machine is worn at night and it's role is to open the airways allowing the person th breathe.

In answer to your question, snoring can deprive some people of necessary sleep.

Sandra

Here's some info regarding Obstructive Sleep Apnea

http://www.apneasupport.org/about47.html

http://www.sleepapnea.org/resources/pubs/snorescore.pdf

It's very important to get treatment. Untreated OSA can lead to strokes and heart attacks, among other things.

Edit: By the way, OSA is not caused by being overweight, but excessive weight will definitely aggravate it. CPAP treatment can turn a life around, really make a person feel alive again. If your husband has the symptoms (and stopping breathing during sleep is a biggie), he has to get tested, his life may depend on it.

There are many causes for Obstructive Sleep Apnea and not all of them so apparent. I had to use a Bi-pap when I slept for almost 4 years until I finally went to a specialist that was able to diagnose the root cause of my apnea. The bottom line is one of the fundamental keys to a man getting and maintaining an erection is the amount of oxygen in the blood being suppied to that area of the body. Without the proper amount of oxygen while you sleep and that function is not going to happen or is going to suffer greatly.