The last thing I want to do is make this situation worse but since its you agonycat, I will do my best to answer your question. I don't know how old your husband is but when I was in my late 20's early 30's, I went through a stage when I discovered I was considered old to someone in thier early 20's. Although I did not try to hook up with a younger woman, I tried looking younger to see if I would get any looks or spark some kind of interest from a younger woman. I never had any intentions of making time with a younger woman, I just felt like I needed to see where I was at in terms of my sex appeal. I hope this helps.

Hello Agonycat, from the user name that you've chosen, it kind of sounds like some other things may have transpired that you haven't shared with us? Anyway I'm so very sorry that you're having to deal with something that is causing you to be in such pain!

But, you don't have to bottle up your anger until it leaks all over you...nor do you have to turn petty gripes into thermonuclear war. Just say what you feel directly, clearly, without hurt, and rage! Keep the pace slow and the tone calm. Tell him that you're angry, hurt, disappointed, and confused!

Then let him have the floor (the ball's in his court) see what he has to say.

Let us know how you're doin'...I'm not sure that leaving is the answer, just gives you a more drawn out time of sufferin'. It may be just a game for him with no intent to take it any further than talk. Men think differently than we do...there is no explaining it, they are from Mars and we are from Venus, remember?

Good luck, I'll be thinkin' of you,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"With understanding comes both recognition and resignation"

Hi AC,

I'm terribly sorry to hear about your heartache.

If u need someone to talk to, u can come to my journal.

Take care.

regards,
Bebe

Thanks for everyone's comments.

I did manage to talk to him, I think I even yelled a few times at him before I left Friday. And I think I called him a jerk and a few other choice names. In his mind he was "just joking around". To me it was nothing to joke around about.

While I can appriecate the guys point of view, I also know one thing. If your wife finds you attractive, and you have the best relationship in the world with her, and you have an active sex life, the last thing a man should do is "test" the waters and see if he is still attractive to other females. You should be happy in the fact that your life long partner thinks the world of you. It doesn't take an idiot to ruin a marriage, but one mindless action.

Heyjude there are a number of things I don't devulge on an open public forum, but I will let you in on this. I have been divorced 3 times so far due to the fact that my ex-spouses not being able to keep their johnson out of someone else's pants. Enough said. I have very little tolerance at this point for infidelity, or promiscuous sexual behavior. Donald hit the nail on the head, by saying that men like to check to see they are still attractive to the opposite sex. However with my ex's they didn't stop at the front door of checking instead they wanted to think they were stallions.

I am not blind anymore and I see the signs when they show up. Which is why I checked in the first place. That little naggy feeling when I saw him still chatting at 3 in the morning that something was a) going on or b) about to happen. I don't mind him talking to females, I am not that insecure. However when the topic of discussion turns to sex is where I draw the line. A married man has no business inquiring the sexual life of a married or single female other than his wife. Period. Unless of course that married man just happens to be her doctor.