Originally Posted by camaromom

You might want to try counseling. DH and I were having a lot of problems after he had a vasectomy. I did not want him to have it done, but he didn't care. Apparently in the state of Indiana the wife does not need to give consent and the doctor he had to use because of our insurance doesn't give a crap about the wishes of the wife. I basically told him that he either needs to go to counseling or I was outta here. We went. Things are better, still not GREAT, but better.

By the way if any man wants to chime in here it might help. I've seen a lot of posts about women and sexual issues dealing with weight, but nothing really from a gentlemans perspective.

Congratulations on feeling sexy and projecting that to others around you. I do sometimes wish that someone other than DH would show interest, but I must not exude sex appeal.

Originally Posted by 3shewolf8

Hi everyone. I don't think that I have ever seen anyone post this question. I have had a tremendous increase in my sexual desire. I think about it all the time. My husband on the other hand is extremely overweight, and tried low carb, just can't do it, he is eating low fat and the doctor put him on zenical to make him eat low fat or pay the price, but, he has ZERO desire. I keep resenting him so much for this. He told me that it is not me, that it is him. He feels so self conscious, and has such low self esteem that he won't even take his clothes off in front of me. I have talked to him, I have told him that I want him for who he is, but he just won't. I even asked him to talk to his doctor about it, and he says that he is too embarrassed. Now, I again, am thinking that it is something gross about me that he can't stand to touch me. Guys flirt with me all the time, I have even been asked out for coffee from the guy who fixed my car the other day, of course, I don't tell my husband these things. I think that it would just make him feel worse. I love my new body, but I need a sex life too!! I have someone hitting on me, who says that he doesn't care if I am married, he is married too. The thing is, I do care. I don't want to do anything stupid, but come on, 6 months is a long time between romantic interludes for anyone. I never thought that I would have this happen to me!! He makes me feel dirty too, if I talk about it too much. It isn't the most important thing, but it is one of the important things. There is no touching, hugging, nothing! What should I do???????? Has anyone had this kind of thing happen after loosing a lot of weight???? or even a small amount of weight???

Originally Posted by camaromom

Arc, it would have been ok, if I'd agreed, but I did not. Therefore, if I wanted more kids, I'd have to find someone who wasn't shooting blanks. I felt as if it was a couple decision, not only his decision. He eliminated me from that equation.

Originally Posted by camaromom

Not to highjack this thread, but I did not agree to the vasectomy, which is where the problem was. Arc, it would have been ok, if I'd agreed, but I did not. Therefore, if I wanted more kids, I'd have to find someone who wasn't shooting blanks. I felt as if it was a couple decision, not only his decision. He eliminated me from that equation.

Originally Posted by EMKAY 53

I have to agree with the above post though, nothing is sexier than a man cleaning house. Never mind the sexy clothes, if he greeted me at the door with a toilet brush....whew....hold me back

Originally Posted by scthgharpy

[QUOTE=ProfGumby]
I just keep trying to be the best husband and father I can be. But it is tough when all I need do is one little thing, not to her liking, and I am in the dog house and get the cold shoulder for days!
QUOTE]

Dude, somethings eating her, you should really talk to her about it. Me and my dh: We dont have issues, we have VOLUMES, dig-and the only way anything ever gets worked out is through talking about it. It festers, otherwise, and no one is happy. Yah, the talking about it is hard, but whats the alternative: being miserable til you die!??! The sex thing is one challenge-but simple affection denotes something else entirely. TALK!! Id advocate sending the kids away for the weekend and some mdma, to facilitate the conversation, but that would be just wrong.

And heres a hint since youre a guy: The most powerful aphrodesiac? Coming home to a clean kitchen. Fo' Real. And if my stay-at-home DH has taken the 5 minutes to throw something in the crockpot, Im all OVER him.

Originally Posted by kevinpa

If your DH is overweight, hes he ever been checked for diabeties? When I was at my heaviest with BG of 500 one of the symptoms was ED. Not that I didn't have the desire......it just didn't work. Since getting my diabeties under control this is no longer an issue as I have regain full control of my faculties. You might have more luck trying to convince your DH to get checked for Diabeties as a cause of his inablity. Just a though.

Originally Posted by jeff-az

Who would date a fat older guy?

Originally Posted by Lobstergal

I never knew there was a connection between blood sugar levels and ED.
Interesting.