I was talking to a co-worker today and he was telling me "I hate getting old". I told him "well you know what you can do about that?" I was thinking excercise and you won't feel so old.

Anyway I encouraged him to excercise and he started telling me that he used to be a runner. I asked him if he had gained weight really fast after he stopped running and he said that he had. I explained that was because runners tend to metabolize their muscle, and that when they stop running they have no muscle mass to help keep the fat off, the he should eat adequate protein and work out with weights.

Well he proceeded to tell me that he had stopped running because he got a divorce about that time that he hadn't wanted. And started "drinking" about that time, stopped running etc.

I kept trying to share little things with him about the benefits of excercise, he kept acting like he believed in its benefits, but was never going to do anything to change, even though he knew he should....

One thing he said though that struck me. "I've made too many bad choices in my life". As though that ended the discussion or something. Like that was a reason to give up, as though that meant his future choices were already decided upon. It just sounded so fatalistic, so final, like there was NO hope for him now or something. It sounded weird to me.

My answer to him was "We all have, but it's never too late to start making the RIGHT choices."

I'm so glad to have learned about Atkins and low carb, to know about and apply the benefits of excercise. I'm so glad that I can really FEEL like my best years are AHEAD of me, not behind me. I think that the Body for Life book started me thinking this way, more than anything.

He (BFL Author) talks about that very thing, how so many people live in the past or the present, not in the future. That people who are future oriented DO something about what they don't like in the present. They know that next week or next month or next year is going to be their best one ever. That they will be leaner, stonger, healthier because they are making those choices RIGHT NOW.

My thought when our conversation was over "sucks to be you, with an attitude like that." I mean we all get discouraged. But defeated? How scary.

>My answer to him was "We all have, but it's never too late to start making the RIGHT choices."<

Absolutely! I agree with you 100%!

It's ALL about choices. As I look at my own life, it is clear to me in retrospect where the turning points were, and what choices I made. Things didn't just "happen" to me- mostly, I made a choice and then things fell into place. When things did seem to just "happen" and fell on me, I can see now that I made a choice how to react to them. And sometimes, casting one's self into the role of VICTIM is a choice too, although not a good one.

As far as allowing myself to gain so much weight, and balloon up to 370 pounds, that puzzled me at first, because uncharacteristically, it seems as if I didn't see what was happening. Of course, I was using recreational and emotional eating for comfort, during a time of extreme stress (6 step-kids that hated me) but obviously, I was in big time denial over the weight gain. I can remember getting on the scale, noting the number, thinking "hmmmm" and then not thinking anymore.....

Denial is a very powerful coping mechanism, but I now see it as a choice on my part,allbeit a very poor one. I don't like to wallow in the past, but intend to progress onward, in this interesting journey of life, and make better choices.

I am being rational about this woe. It's only food, fuel for the body, and doesn't have to be such a friggin' big deal unless I let it be!

Here's to CHOICES!! (Glug glug, drink your water!) May they be good ones!
Kat

Ironically, I felt 'too old' for everything when I was about 26. I feel younger now, at 37.

I think some of that might be a cultural influence, you know, that youth is everything -- we maybe tell ourselves that we can do X or Y or Z -- daydream "20 minutes into the future" -- but youth, we can't get back. A lot of people feel like "losers" because their life isn't what they hoped; it's that "living lives of quiet desperation" thing, with no hope for salvation. One day they realize that even if everything they wished about themselves magically happened this very moment, they still wouldn't be able to live out the daydreams they might carry -- because those daydreams are immature, and did not age with them.

People who have had 'role models' who were creative and successful up until they died, tend to have a different perspective on their own aging, than those who saw those older than they were settle down into disease-urbia and comfortably-miserable lives. I think the latter feel real despair.

I've seen my father go through this. Everyone older than him except his mom was dead by the time he was a teenager, many through very tragic means; he watched people he knew die off from this or that disease, as he aged; and he's been utterly certain that his mother was going to drop dead at any second for the last 30 years (because she gives this impression... he is the oldest boy, and she sort of leans into his protection/comfort). I laugh and tell him how silly it is -- but I try to remind myself that in my reality experience, age is healthy and competent and wise-experienced... in his, it's dead. So he is sort of fighting that belief system. I know I have my own limiting belief systems too, so I work to be compassionate about his...

I'm with ya on the 'start where you are' thing. That saying, "There is no time like the present," is actually a metaphysical truism: There really IS no time like the present -- there is never anything but the present. We don't live in the future or past (consciously anyway) so the present is the only point of power we've got.

I started some exercises with the dumbbells today. I am surprised that something so wimpy as 15# would be a good max for me to begin with. I honestly thought I had a lot more muscle than that! Apparently not!

One piece of good news. Turns out we have a grain elevator and scale house in town. I may actually find a scale to stand on. I'd really like to have something at least approximate.

PJ

PJ, so glad to hear you are going ahead with your workout plan. I think you will find, as I did, that working out makes you more concious of your body, and in turn, more motivated to make changes. For me, it keeps me from lapsing back into that denial that I spoke of.

One thing worries me, gal- 15 lbs is a HONKIN' big weight to start with! Are you competitive by nature? Bet you are- it takes one to know one! I was forever trying to comparing myself with other "jockettes" and do it better, faster, harder, etc etc. But I would strongly suggest you start with a much smaller weight- you can always do more reps, which will actually have you exercising longer. Your muscles may be able to handle it, but your joints? Particularly the tendons- if you get tendonitis from overuse, you are gonna be screwed, blued and tatooed, as "they" so delicately say! I started with really minsy ones, 2.5 lbs, and only went to 5lbs after several months. Now I have VERY slowly started to increase to 10 lbs, and I am a big, muscular gal!

Here is another idea for you, for a type of exercise that is really trully actually FUN, believe it or not! Belly dancing! Betcha never thought of that one! It teaches you to isolate certain muscles, especially the abs, stretch a bit and generally enjoy your body without much impact on the joints. There are some excellent video tapes out there, and even a Yahoo support group for Big Beautiful Bellydancers! It is an ideal activity for us big gals- we got lots to jiggle! And fun- oh my!

Good luck, and please, think about what I said about the size of the weights. Don't compare yourself with others- you can compete with yourself, with your own personal best.
Hugs,
Kat

15 pounds is too heavy or not would depend on the individual and on the excercise. For a lot of the excercises I do, 15 pounds would be way too light (and was even when I first started) but for others it is just right or too heavy.

It really depends on what muscles you are using and how much you have used them in the past. For a bench press 15 pounds would be probably too light for most of us, but for a triceps extensions, that could be a real challenge.

Lifting weights isn't effective unless it is difficult to do, and increasing slowly and doing more reps isn't particularly effective. More reps, really doesn't do much for increasing muscle mass, increasing strength or anything other than increasing endurance.

The weight lifters on the board I belong to advocate a range of between 8 to 10 reps. The 10th rep should be so hard that you really couldn't do another one without a rest. When you can do three sets of a weight in the 8 to 10 rep range, and feel like you could do more, then it is time to increase the weight.

Gains in lifting are caused by increasing the weight and continuing to make the workout harder, not by additional repetitions, but by using heavier and heavier weights. Yes you should watch out for your tendons, you should always "warm up" before working out, that can be done by aerobic type movements or by starting with weights that are really too light for you, just to let the muscles know what is coming. But your serious sets should be at the most weight you can handle and still keep "good form".

Lots of good advice here. Increasing reps to a predescribed ceiling is the way to go, but there are organizations like the NFL that measure basic strength by the number of times you can bench press a 225 lb bar.

In order for your body to build additional muscle, it needs to get a "signal" that you are doing a task that requires added muscle. The only SURE way of transmitting that signal is to go to failure in your training, the point where you can't complete a full rep. How many reps a person should be doing really varies a lot. Powerlifters only perform 1-3 reps, while bodybuilders approaching a contest do 15-20. I think 10 is a good compromise, although you may find benefit alternating between "heavy' (more weight, less reps) and "light" (less weight, more reps) weeks.

Since your body adapts quickly, be sure to change "something" in your workout every 4-6 weeks. That something can be changing exercises, going heavy or light, or changing hand or feet positions on exercises to shift the stress from one part of a muscle to another.

OK OK OK guys, I'm a wimp! I admit it! I am 59 years old, and I don't want to get hurt again! I don't want to risk getting laid up again, and not able to exercise at all. Been there, done that, and it was HORRIBLE!! And you know newbies tend to take on too much, too soon. It's hard to figure out how much you can handle, when you are working out at home, without an advisor or trainer.

>More reps, really doesn't do much for increasing muscle mass, increasing strength or anything other than increasing endurance.<

So what's wrong with increasing endurance??? Especially when you start out looking like a plate of Jello (note I said PLATE not bowl)

Have a good day
Kat the Wimp

LOL UtahKat -- when more than just seriously out of shape (which I am), sometimes lifting a limb without a weight is a workout in itself, and you're right it's too heavy for some things, it depends on what you're doing.

Doing the overhead press, 15# was work at 8 reps, hard at 10, and took immense push-will to get to 12. So I figure this is good until I can do about 16 and then I'll go up some weight. I was waiting to see if it made me sore (doing 3 sets), and I don't feel it at all, so I might be able to go up 5#.

Doing the shoulder-shrug was hard with 15# and I could only do 8 reps.

Some exercises I'm doing without any weights at all e.g., an assisted toe lift (essentially standing on toes on the floor, balancing with a chair), or partial knee bends -- my weight alone is more than enough weight for these.

For the seated bicep curls, I need to take it down to 10#.

I don't have a super wide range of exercises I am doing yet, but I'm sure you are right that 15# will definitely be too heavy to start for some. I was feeling rather wimp like that I couldn't do more than 15# on the overhead press (dumbells, not barbell). I mean, considering how much I weigh, I just really expected to have a whole lot more muscle...!

PJ

That overhead thing you are doing sounds like you are working your shoulder muscles. Yeah me too. My shoulders are NOT very strong, I just started working them out and started with 10 pounds. My maximum weight is only 30 pounds right now, and I've been doing this for a month already.

On the other hand the pull downs (which are the back muscles) I can do at 90 pounds with good form. Can do at 110, but form suffers when I go that high.

I agree with Kat that you should go easy and watch out for injury. Make sure you warm up before you take on anything too heavy, but you can't be afraid of the weights either. Starting out with 2 and a half pound dumbbells is (in my opinion) a little bit too timid. On the other hand you do have to take into consideration your body weight as a factor in anything you do. Knees and ankle joints are already under stress when we weigh too much, so no point in hurting them any worse.

Women tend to be a little afraid of weights. Your real gains are in increasing the weight, not in increasing the reps. When I started out I was increasing reps until I could do 20 of an excercise then I increased the weight. The weightlifters on my other message board talked me out of that method. They told me that 20 was too many reps and that I wasn't gaining anything by doing it that way.