They attempted the biopsy last Friday. Mom went into cardiac arrest. After multiple chest compressions they brought her back. She suspended here DNR during the procedure. Personally, I think it was a mistake. That was likely the most peaceful way she could have gone.

Mom is still in the ICU, but after she crashed they had to pump her full of dopamine and adrenaline and she’s still not off of it all...and she’s on heavy pain meds because when a grown man does chest compressions on a 135 pound woman it really freaking hurts!!! Moms real doctor has broken the news to her that there is less than a 10% chance she will ever go home. Mom of course doesn’t accept this. Her behavior has become irrational. They are calling it delirium.

She’s talking to social workers about what she’s going to need once she’s home; meanwhile they haven’t diagnosed what’s in her lungs and lymphnnodes so they have no way of saying what she will need at home, but she’s talking to anyone who will listen about going home....but she wants to stay at the hospital and try the biopsy in a different way to get some answers, but keeps talking about going home. Her oxygen need is up to 10 liters, she’s sleeping a lot. But I asked if it was time to call my step brother in from deployment and the doctors have said no, it’s not time. So.....I wait....and wait....my kids are neglected, my work is nearly non existent (but they are being amazing about it), I’m having trouble sleeping....and we wait.

This really sucks.