Trig- I had the exact same sleeping night as you did, almost down to the exact same times. I just read my Kindle, and looked at instagram, but stayed in bed. Weird that we were both awake.

Glad your DH is coming home for a bit before he heads out again.

Since you are having burgers, you should make a Juicy Lucy! I might make them this weekend. Yum! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-wr9jiYNak

Jaz- Girl, I hear all your fears and I think they are totally and completely normal. Every one of them. I'd be concerned if you didn't feel that way.

As far as packing and such, remind yourself that there is virtually nothing that you can't buy over there. I have to tell myself that I'm not going to the moon. I can buy whatever I forget. Make sure you have your computer, your driver's license, your Bella. That kind of thing. Anything else you can just replace if you leave it, or have your Mom send it. That will alleviate the packing stress.

Not renting your home out will also ease your stress. Have you told your neighbor yet, that you won't be renting your home to her daughter? Also, your neighbors can keep an eye on your place.

BTW I smiled at your wedding story. I was hungover on my wedding day and also had those scared/ want to back out feelings. Same thing happens when I found out I was pregnant with each kid, or when we bought a new house etc. Any big commitment is scary as hell. But then it almost always ends up having been a good thing.

Hang in there, talk here, vent away. BREATHE. It is a three month adventure, and then you reassess. You can do this. Furthermore, going and doing something new is SO GOOD for your brain. You will be building all kinds of new synapses!

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All is well here. The next two days will be full so just trying to pace myself. Today is doing my doula job 10-1 and then the concierge job 2:30 - 8. At least my down day will keep me occupied!

I'm trying to be more intentional about getting some movement in. I've gotten a couple of walks done this week. Not super long, but still. Today it may not happen but I will be active and engaged, which is a different sort of good.

DS17 put my tree together last night, bless him. I made dinner (a rarity these days it seems!) and I had Pandora playing xmas songs during dinner. Sucked him right into the spirit! So now I will put up ornaments this week. He says he wants to be an Elf and put out the rest of the stuff by December 1. Cool.

We are just putting up the main tree, I think, and not the one in the living room. I have a little one for the kitchen island also.

My house is feeling cluttered lately. I really feel like I need to take a day and just get some stuff cleared out. Little piles in the corners, you know? It bugs me!

That's about it from here. Nothing too exciting!