Thanks for the kind words and thoughtful follow-up posts. I'm not *quite* as sure as you guys seem to be that there's much to be proud of.

I guess the sum of my feelings *before* that moment arrived was: "I don't care!" - about myself or anything else. To clarify, I didn't struggle with alcohol - I simply gave myself over to it, and had no particular desire to quit. My weight and eating habits reflected the same attitude - "I *don't* care"

Afterwards though I was *driven*, which was just as unhealthy! I wanted to get better, and do it right now. It's only more recently that I've entered a more reflective period and taken the time to try and understand myself a little better.

The physical changes are wonderful, but the self-understanding and sense of empowerment that have come with it are far more important. Very philosophical. Hmm... must be in a zen mood today! Peace!