Dear fat.. what can I say.. I guess I need to think back to when you started to come into my life.. Developing an illness which affected my blood sugar levels and exercise potential was the start. You valiantly stored up all the excess sugars which the insulin had sent in your direction, to save me from the worst effects of the high blood sugar. You steadily stored up all the toxins from the medication they prescribed, which was far better than them continuing to circulate in my bloodstream. When I got addicted to caffeine and started to binge on coffee and chocolate, you stepped in and took the brunt of it all. My ignorance of diet led me down the road of carbs - cutting fats and meats led to more and more low-fat carby foods which turned into sugar in my blood - which you willingly accepted. When I went on low-carb diet, you eagerly jumped in to enable me to thrive and lose weight. When I fell off the wagon, you stepped up to the challenge and went into storage mode to save me from myself.. and when I got back onto my diet, you again put yourself out to make sure that I never felt hungry in spite of losing weight. You've been a true friend in need. In spite of all your efforts, I am always saying how I hate the sight of you. Thanks for sticking with me and having the patience to see me through to healthier times.

Now it's my turn to repay all your efforts.. I've cut the toxins from my environment, stopped the medication, tried to clean up my act and am working daily on the issues around caffeine addiction. I've acclimatised to feeling colder, and no longer miss all the puffiness. I'm doing my best to eat healthy and organic, and use portion control if I am tempting by someone else's carbs.. Sometimes I feel I am on a tightrope - how long can I keep my balance before I fall off? Will I ever get back to a normal weight? Will I ever be able to find a balance? Can my body further recover from the skewed metabolism? Will you ever find yourself being able to relax in a settled, calm climate, put your feet up and take it easy? I hope so, fat.. I hope so.

Thanks for being there for me. Please don't stop.. I will get better, I promise.