Jandy, I do so know exactly what you feel…I've been there so many times. What I'll tell you worked for me….bit by bit….was working a LOT at the mental/emotional side of this weight loss thing. You just need to really know and believe that while a lot in life will cause stress, maybe pain, emotional upset, some of those things you cannot control because the situations come at you full force. However, your eating is absolutely something you have the power to control completely….you CAN keep your eating in line…even if that's the only thing you can control at any given time, just know you can control it and it's precisely that control that may make you feel better about the other stuff. At some point I realized I was throwing everything in my life to the "out of control" gods, and I didn't like that. It feels good to know there's one tiny bit of order in my life. I now know that adversity keeps coming my way, but my food and eating can remain an island of consistency in spite of it.

Meanwhile, a lot of bad eating is habit driven. And you can change habits…you can change bad ones to good ones. I came to realize I had two negative things going on: portion control with foods I liked, and eating junk when I wasn't in the least bit hungry. I have to be mindful at all times, but these two habits were easier to change than I'd originally thought. However, I did come to realize that I will always have to be aware and mindful of what I eat. That's just the way it is, but at least I now understand how to deal with it. Knowledge and understanding about yourself give you power.

I guess I'd suggest a lot of thought and planning….plan what to eat, don't free-wheel it. Know how much you will eat and then know what you just ate at all times. Journal your eating so you can look at it on paper. Weigh yourself daily to keep yourself accountable. A lot of people hate weighing themselves, but I find it useful because it's constant daily feedback about what I've been doing. That scale weight every morning helps me eat as I should the rest of the day. Remember that saying "out of sight, out of mind". That's somewhat true for weight. Knowing your weight each day can be a motivating AND moderating factor in what you eat that day. It's feedback about how food affects your body, too, and helps you know which foods agree with your body and which ones don't so much.

Anyhow, just keep telling yourself that you CAN control this one aspect of your life…because after all, it is you feeding you, no one is making you do anything and it's hogwash that you can't control yourself…if you you can't control what you eat, then you are putting yourself in a helpless position that gives you mental permission to eat the wrong things…..after all, you don't have control. Don't do that! You control every bite that comes in!