I'm constantly paranoid that I'm dying. I didn't use to be this way. But my husband told me in February that he wants a divorce and now I'm the only one on this earth to take care of my boys. If something happens to me, they have nobody. So I have to get healthy, but the more I think about it, the more I want some chocolate ice cream or cake or something not good for me. It's like a vicious cycle of worrying and eating wrong.

The obvious health risks are huge. But I also don't want to embarrass my boys. I'm a fat mom. I hate the way I look and feel. I do get out and play with them. But I am to the point that I mostly want to stay home. I know that's not good. They are active in sports. I don't want them to be like me. I feed my kids healthier than almost everyone on the teams they are on. Would someone please kick me in the a** to get me going?