RightNow...what an awesome post.

The best I have ever done, during this journey of up and down and ultimately up, up, up, was when I was at my last "all time high". I was having incidences where I felt like I couldn't get any air in...I'd be standing in the line at the post office with packages to ship (I do a lot of shipping for my business), and realize I might have to say something like call 911 because I just about couldn't get a breath in.
I ended up seeing a pulmonary specialist, who told me not much was found and yes, if I lost the weight, it would all resolve (along with the sleep apnea).

I don't know from where, but until a few months before I quit (after almost 4 years on plan), anytime I had that kind of thinking that says, "just this one meal why not...", or "go ahead, it's a special holiday, take the day off", a voice inside me would answer..it would be honest, it would be no nonsense, it was a part of me I don't remember accessing before - coming as it did from my unconscious.

I know that with that part of me active again, I will go much further...I am listening...today is Day 4, back on plan.