Apparently that's the truth that comes from my family. And I should say that it's not my ENTIRE family, but just the older members. My cousins and I support each other and try not to criticise (except my brother), but my mother, my aunts, my Nana, etc. they all love to tear people down.

Went to my cousin's son's bday party. My family was there. My infamous aunts were there. One aunt Delia is always joking about skinny I am now and how she never sees me anymore because I'm always working out, the other aunt Jo is the one who always has to make comments about my non boobs. My mother is usually not vocal at social functions, but when she gets together with my aunts she suddenly becomes evil and they become like the Bitches of East LA.

Sure enough, I had been at the party for all of ten minutes and saying hi to everyone when Aunt Jo announces to everyone, "Is that your front or is that your back?" as if we haven't heard this before and as if it was hysterically funny the first time. I retorted that she had nothing to comment about since she wasn't exactly Chesty McGee and she should try losing 50 lbs. and then come talk to me about having no boobs, but I couldn't believe she had to make a LOUD comment about this issue AGAIN publicly when I did nothing to provoke it. The irony is that just the other day she was telling how although Debra Messing has nothing on top, my uncle (her husband) thinks she's cute. Is being flat chested only acceptable if you're beautiful, or cute or a celebrity? Do we forgive them those flaws? And if so, then does this mean that I'm neither beautiful or cute or forgiveable for such a defect?

I also saw Marcy yesterday for the first time since her surgery. Since she has always worn heavily padded bras, no one even noticed her new boobs. In fact they looked very natural and felt, (I got a quick squeeze in) well, I'll assume they feel like natural boobs since frankly I don't know what boobs feel like, but they were soft and looked great! No scars. I had wondered if when we met, if she would give me "the look" and we discussed her procedure, etc. how easy and painfree it was, how amazing she looks and feels. The pretty bras she gets to buy now. My mother and I gave her a $50 giftcard to Victoria's Secret for her birthday this month and I told her "Now you get to buy all the sexy things in there." And she said, "I used to be like you, your size" and then came "the look" - pity, sympathy. She suggested I go see her doctor, it's a free consultation and I can finance the payments. When I told her I was scared of the risks, she reassured me that those don't happen to the majority of the patients. And when I told her about my inquiries into having my boobs reduced to match the other smaller one, she shook her head and said, "No way. Don't do that. You'll go from none to nothing."

I know she means well. This is a subject we've discussed at great length and she knows how much I want it. She is so much more self confident while I feel myself shrinking away both figuratively and literally (though not as much or as fast as I'd prefer). It seems that everytime I think I've come to a conclusion about this issue, I get thrown back into the fire. Everytime I start to feel good about myself, it's like god throws me a curveball to remind me about the sins of pride and just knocks me right back where I belong.

And no matter that next month I graduate with a Master's degree and I already have a Bachelors, in their eyes, I'm single with no boyfriend or husband or prospects, no children and not a place of my own - things that would validate my obviously pointless existence - then I'm nothing. I can lose 70 lbs. or 100 more pounds and I'd still not be good looking enough. Someone would find something to say that would be negate my progress.

So, dear readers that's my story. The question is, what do you do when faced with unsupportive friends/family/coworkers, etc.? How do you respond?