Wow... i would just like to say i really enjoyed reading your well worded and heartfelt story. I have been where you were.. i am still where you were... and at 30 years old (just turned in october 2012) i started my atkins/l/c journey on November 27th 2012. I have felt so many of the things you've described and knowing someone else has not only been trapped within the body of a fat person, but also within the mindset of a fat person makes me feel less alone.
It's so easy to become exactly what people think or whisper behind your back that you are... "just a fat slob"... or "the fat one." and all the things that you want people to perceive you as don't matter because you never let them get that close anyway... your just a fat nobody right?... I've let that go, i've started and i plan to stick with it. Down 14-ish pounds in >3 weeks and i've already noticed that as my body changes so does my mood. No longer do i wake up avoid the mirror and grump around on the couch all day. No more do i put food in my mouth and think 'wonder what part of my body this'll stick to'. I eat for fuel and because i know it's working. I am in higher spirits and find my depression, and snarky attitude (that i clung to like a baby blanket) is slipping away. When a friend of 15 years asks.. "are you okay... you seem.....happy or something." it makes you feel like a better person, not just to others but to yourself.
Your story really went into all the things one must change... not only the body but the mind. I'll probably always be a touch of a b*tch when a pretty model type girl walks by, but.... but... at least i'll know.. i worked for mine!
Here's to the journey, and my future self! Congrats and i can't wait to she the photos... were were promised photos lol (or maybe they just aren't showing up for me?, where is said photos!)