(I posted this over in my journal, but I thought I should put it up in this forum too.)

I quit smoking on February 18. I had no intention of quitting. I loved to smoke and used to go through at least two packs of Marlboro Reds per day. However, a few things must have converged and I somehow gave it up. I smoked for 26 years, and only had one lame past attempt at quitting back in 2000. It lasted eight days. Now, even though I am struggling and hating most moments of this, I know my time is up and I am done smoking.

Reasons that seemed to have lead me to quit:

1. NYC banned smoking in ALL public places, including bars. grrr How was I supposed to go out and have a few drinks without a cig??? I hate this new law, but I must confess, it in some way must have contributed to my decision to quit in February. The law went into effect 3/30/03 and an even more severe state anti-smoking law goes into effect this summer. Sin city no more!

2. One of my cats got sick on February 16. She is 13 years old. I am sure the smoke was troubling her, even though she is now fine and her diagnosis had nothing to do with respiratory, heart or any other second hand smoke related issue.

3. My husband quit a year and a half ago and has been bothered by my smoking in the apartment.

4. I kept finding myself in places where smoking is prohibited. I almost killed myself on a recent flight to LA. Then in LA, well forget about smoking there. Any time my work took me outside of my home, I was finding it impossible to sneak away for my 'dose.' There are so few smokers left out there! I was living as if it were still 1978 when everyone I knew smoked!

5. It was just my time. I had a hunch, a feeling, an intuitive suspicion that my 'get off scot-free' smoking time was over.

6. I think after a year of low-carbing, my insulin was regulated enough to allow me to get off the cigs. I don't really understand all the science of it, but without a year of low carbing under my belt, I don't think I would have even considered quitting.

So, how is my low carbing going? In the first two weeks after quitting I ate at least one chocolate bar per day. I bought the best, highest quality organic chocolate I could find. I also ate huge portions of my usual low carb foods. I gained back all the weight that I lost last year - 13 lbs. I was in a panic.

In my 3rd week of not smoking and again FAT, I went to see my doctor. I was (still am) using nicotine replacement therapy -- patch at night, nicorette gum during the day. My doctor put me on a mild tranquilizer and an anti-depressant. The combo of these two drugs, plus the nicotine replacement therapy helped me to stop eating like a pig. I lost 5 lbs. right away. Last weigh in was 142.

I have eaten pizza -- the real thing -- every Friday night since I quit. It is my reward to myself and it is worth it, at least for now.

I have also given up coffee. This has been so tough too; maybe just as hard as giving up the cigs. I replaced my beloved coffee with green tea. The coffee was really overly connected to the cigs, so it just had to go. My consumption of artificial sweetners is way down, since I am no longer guzzling cup after cup of coffee. I drink one glass of wine every night, but have had no hard liquor since I quit.

I have to say, I hate not smoking. But, I want to live, so I am working hard to get through this. I joined a message board for quitting and that has been helpful. I am working with three doctors to overcome the physical and psychological issues that are arising now that my cigs are gone. I feel very deprived, but I work hard to make it through each day. My swimming is easier and I have been able to swim one hour every day without getting tired.

As to my weight, I am wearing size 8 jeans. I cannot bring myself to get weighed until I get my TOM this month. Then I will check in. I estimate my weight to be approx. 138-140. Will let you know.