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Judy's Success on the Beach**UPDATE 2011**
I've been thinking about writing this for many months. I probably could've written it a while ago but I wanted to wait until I saw my goal weight on the scale to make it official. I saw it last Sunday, 12/18/05. I lost a total of 114 lbs in 20 months. I started my journey on 4/25/04 right before my 54th birthday. My story is long and winding but I will try to make it as readable as possible.
Before I begin, I want to say that this forum has made it possible for me to get where I so desperately wanted to go. I am deeply grateful for this. The daily support, the challenges, journaling my food each day, have all been integral parts of my success...this time!! THANK YOU!! to all the moderators here for making this the wonderful place that it is!! :agree: I've always been a few pounds overweight and for a 5'8" female, I can hide alot of extra pounds. My best weight was 150 in my early 30s but I was always trying to get to 140 and always ended up back at 180. :rolleyes: I was a typical yo-yo dieter. I can thank my mom for this because as a teen weighing between 150 and 160, my mom thought I was fat and took me to get diet meds from doctors several times....Thanks mom!! ;) In 1978, I decided to enter into a behavior mod plan with a hypnotherapist who put me on a diabetic diet which was naturally low carb....I went from 180 to 140 in about 5 months. I will spare you the gory details of that year of my life but suffice it to say, it was a doooooozy!! When I reacted to all of the crap going on in my life at the time, a big bag of chips became my new best friend and an end to my seeing the scale at 140. I can honestly admit to not really knowing about carbs at that point in my life eventhough I had just lost 40 lbs eating chicken/fish/veggies and a little fruit each day. But I never forgot how it did work for my body!! :agree: I spent the years of my 30s going up and down the scale never going over 180 and always striving to get back to where I had been. In 1987, I was 37 yrs old and had started a small business that was not doing well and I was very scared that I'd fail. I ate over this along with other issues that I also ate over, my weight started creeping up to 187. its funny that I can recall my weights at these different times in my life. Between my 37th year and my 40th year, I was well over 200 and freaking out.....Weight Watchers saw me 5 times...then Jenny Craig, then Optifast and medifast with no success at all. By the time I was 41, I was about 280 lbs and totally depressed and horribly ashamed of myself and my body. I spent my 40s going from diet to diet, did the fenfen thing for a few years when it was popular and would eat pints of ice cream thinking that the pills would take care of the icecream...what a jerk I was!!:rolleyes: I finally got myself into OA and learned about my compulsive eating. I used food to self medicate, to numb my bad feelings about myself. I ended up back in therapy to decipher what was going on and what I would need to do to get healthy. I was going to OA meeting from 1996 to 1998 and followed the Food Addicts Anonymous food plan, which is No Sugar, NO Flour, No Wheat...but which still left me with rice and potatoes...which for me was bad. I got my weight down to about 210 but could not get past that and soon gave up. But I did not forget what I had learned in OA ie: tools for managing my compulsive eating, venting when I'm angry, writing about my feelings, getting my feelings up and out of me instead of stuffing them down with food. Turning my food over to my sponsor, after I ate it, made me accountable for the first time in my life...this worked for me. But the food plan was still not right for me and I gave up once again and gained it all back and went back up to about 270 lbs....once again miserable, isolated and depressed. Which brings me to April 2004....when I first learned of South Beach and read the book. I was told about this site by a friend and joined up on my first visit. My addiction to message boards has come in very handy!! I was scared because I felt that if I failed this time, that I'd be doomed to grow old as a morbidly obese woman.:( I was committed to being successful......I found myself open to learning a new way of eating....I was committed to learning how to eat and not be on a diet. I was no longer defensive about hearing new ideas and accepted coaching.Thanks Bill! :D I will share with you that I've modified South Beach to suit my needs. I rarely ate any flour, even whole grain flour, while in losing mode. Flour is one of my substances and I did need to avoid it until I got a handle on my weight. So while the plan calls for 2-3 starch servings daily, I ate starch 2-3 times per week. I did and do eat fruit daily. I don't eat fat free dairy but do eat reduced fat. I've made this plan work for me.....I think that any plan needs to be tailored to the individual's needs. Once I made my commitment to this, it seemed to just flow out of me. I never wavered in my focus....I went through each day logging all my food knowing that it was keeping me accountable. I ate mostly on plan and learned alot about my body as I went along. Here is my weight chart from MYPLAN: ![]() So this is it....I am now officially in maintenance and am deliriously happy with myself.i I love wearing a size 10!! :D I'm sure that I've left out some things and will come back and add stuff as I recall it. If I can do this at my age...anyone can do it!! :agree: My very best to you on your journey!! :thup: [break] Well...of course I've left things out......Like what actually happened to get me started this time? About 2 1/2 yrs ago I adopted a dog who needs special help. She's a lovely dog but is very fearful in the city. Shes a rescue from the hills of West Va. and the city spooks her out. I work with trainers to help her and was told to take her to agility class. We started classes 2 yrs ago. As I did the course with her, I realized that I was not doing nearly as well as my dog. I took her to a weekend seminar and pics of me were taken without my knowledge. When I saw them, I was freaked out by my size.....One of my before pics form the day is in my gallery. That picture is what actually made my decision for me. :agree: So in the end, my dog Daisy, is what got me to take another stab at this. :D Who knew that helping a dog adjust would bring me the happiness that I was looking for. [break] The following is from my journal. I think that it belongs here as part of my success!! I need to talk about attitude and managing your internal dialog I read here every day about the frustration that so many go through and I can totally relate...even empathize!! But indulging myself in negative dialog would have been my undoing.....sure I got frustrated and discouraged...it was slow and painful at times.....but I also knew that if I stayed on my plan, that I would be successful eventually....and I was. When I first started and I had thoughts of my forbidden foods in my head, I would not allow my mind to dwell in the thought of those foods.....I forced myself to look at the food lists of all the foods that I could have. If I had succumbed to my random thoughts of forbidden foods, I would not have ever achieved goal. At some point I think that we all have to take a stand with our internal dialog and say ENOUGH!!! We do not have to be victim to a random stream of consciousness because most of the time its not telling us good stuff...its testing our resolve. I call it my inner beast....taming my inner beast!! We do have the power to think the thoughts that we want to think!! Then I sit here and read all the nice support everybody gives to each other when sometimes a slap upside the head is in order!! While support is fabulous and necessary...sometimes all we are doing is enabling another's disease to continue. I think that we can do better than this. Soon after I joined this site, another member put up a thread in the TDC about eating disorders.......making a general statement that if you are over 100 lbs overweight, that most likely you have an eating disorder. I agreed and was surprised at the amount of anger that the thread generated. Many were defensive and angry because they have diagnosed illnesses that prevent them from being successful.....I get this!! Most people who are 100 lbs overweight, including myself, got to be that overweight because the use food inappropriately. I am one of those people. They call it comfort food for a reason!! It was not until I faced the truth about my compulsive overeating eating and then delved into therapy to uncover the root of it, I was doomed to stay a morbidly obese woman. Why bother going on any food plan if I could not stick to it? So...I didn't!! When in 1998, my dad passed away, my weight was 210 lbs....I was in OA.....but it all did not last because I needed to eat my comfort food. I gained it all back and decided that I was not going to diet ever again...I was sick and tired of the pain of not being successful and so...why bother in the first place :rolleyes: But therapy revealed to me that my family was the root of my problems. In the presence of family members...I feel very poorly about myself...enough that it had me eating over it...to sooth myself. My last year in therapy was a few years ago. I spent a year with a therapist going over and over the ramifications of estranging myself from my last living relative....my kid sister. I had terrible guilt about this and it took me many months to make the decision final.....but when I did and gave myself distance from her, I started to feel better about myself. I began feeling stronger......and after about 1 year, I felt good enough to start a new food plan. So I am now totally estranged from my sister...I think of her often but I've got to keep my resolve. I saw her briefly last June and it totally triggered me to eat like I used to eat:nono: very bad!! My choice to not have her in my life is the right choice for me!! :agree: I have suffered long and hard....being morbidly obese destroyed my sense of self....I hated every moment I spent at those high weights....it was 15 years of my life that I felt dead.....growing up a normal size girl and being attractive set me up to expect life to be a certain way....I was in for a rude awakening when I was no longer that attractive person. I got sick and tired of being treated like a piece of shit in the street...of being ignored..of being invisible and liking it that way :( There was no magic....it was my bottom....it was my time to claim my life back!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I want to speak a bit about my experience in phase II of SBD. I was in phase II for about 18 months and actually still eat fairly close to phase II while in phase III. :lol: Heres the big thing that I want to tell you about. I did phase II according to what works for my body to get it to lose weight. I did not eat all that it allows and you can see this if you review my journal to see what I ate. I know that I cannot eat flour and grains and lose weight. So my phase II consisted of protein, vegetables and fruit and sometimes, maybe 2-3 times a week, I'd have a grain or starch. Our meal plan allows for grains/starch 2-3 times a day!!! Way too much for my body!! :idea: :agree: I see so many people make the mistake of jumping to bread as soon as they hit phase II. This is a big mistake in my book!!! Bread,even whole grain or low carb bread, should be the very last thing to add into your phase II. There are many ways to get grain and starch into your diets without eating flour!! Whole grain oats, barley, brown rice, etc....butternut squash, yams, peas...are all much better choices for grains and starch than bread, as you enter phase II!!! Any flour, even low carb flour, is still processed and should be avoided in the early stages of phase II. :idea: I avoided pizza for 18 months and had it for the first time last October. I now allow myself to have a thin crust pizza once a month. :idea: So my advice is to go very slowly when adding starch and grains back into your plans. :agree: :D Just because the plan says we can have it, does not mean that we should!! :cool: _________________________________________________________________ ![]() This is a morph of my journey....230/200/157 were the weights. Its a powerful image and hope that it gives you hope that this can be done. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back to losing again and am happy to say that today, 3/15/2008, I've reached the 120 lbs total loss (154 lbs). Next month is my 4 year anniversary of the start of this leg of my weight loss/management journey. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4/19/09 1 more year of successful maintaining ( 3.5 yrs total)and am now weighing in at 151...-3 lbs since last year. Going to be featured in Womans World this June!! :D Its now been 5 yrs since I began this journey...and I have changed myself, the way I eat...and ultimately my life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- December 18, 2010 marked my 5 yr goal anniversary. That means that I've been successfully maintaining my 120 lbs loss for the past 5 yrs...without regaining my weight. It is possible to do this as I am proof of it. :cool: no surgery required, only on my attitude!!! :lol: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- So here I am, another year of successful weight loss maintenance( 6 years now) under my now 29" waist. I started doing Pilates twice a week this year and its really making a big difference in all my muscles, not only core muscles. I love it! :agree: |
Congrats Judy you have done an amazing job.
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer: Merry Christmas, Betsy |
Congratulations on a job well done!!! What an amazing story.
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Judy,
You have been an inspiration to us all. Enjoy the new healthier you. |
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Congratulations Judy! This is a great LC story and we are very proud of you! |
Thanks for all the kind words!! :)
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They call it "being in denial" for a reason!! ;) This exercise, logging my food, makes me keep it real!! :D |
Your success is very encouraging to me. Mother/daughter scenerio is about the same and even the NAME! I'm just a few years older than you so I'm hoping I can reach goal too!
Judy |
CONGRATS Judy.
Your story is as amazing as you are. Good thing you adopted Daisy, you were good for each other. |
Good story Judy, and you've made us all aware that eating is more than just putting something in our mouth's.
Thank you for a good story. Lynne |
Judy, you've been inspirational to me since I started visiting this site. Congratulations on meeting your goal! :)
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Congratulations Judy!! Thanks for sharing your story, you are truly an inspiration. You look terrrific, but more important you look so very happy.
Congrats, Jenny |
Your success story was well written and inspirational. One point that jumped off the page to me was (1) your fierce motivation AND (2) an adapted foodplan - South Beach - that worked for you. At various times before in your life you had one but not both.
As someone who has in the past found it difficult to lose - who knows about the future, I'm optimistic - I am as interested in what "clicked" to make it happen for you. Clearly it always takes a lot of work and dedication, but it also takes dieting/healthy eating smart. I honestly believe the tailoring the foodplan to an individual is the key. Tricky key because the self-sabotaging behavior is operating at the same time as the tailoring. South Beach's structured Phase I and adding in foods Phase II is a good tool for this tailoring. I feel that - not sure yet - that I can have controlled portions of selected fruits in Phase I. I think the "mistakes" are on spacing my food and selecting enough vegetables and lean enough proteins. I pretty well recognize a long, long list of foods that I should avoid which include sugary carbs, most starches, and fatty foods. The jury is still out on dairy (skimmed milk to cream, yogurt to ricotta). I suspect dairy may need tight portion controls or even be a food allergy. I know that ice cream of any kind (lc, nf, sf, or regular) is my comfort nemesis. I really need to keep it out of sight although I think I can eat a 1/2 c portion occasionally without problem. I cannot live around it. Enough about me, but your success story got my creative problem solving flowing. Thanks. |
Congratulations - great, inspiring story.
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What a wonderful story, Judy; it even comes with an inspirational dog! For all of us broads past 40, I thank you for just getting it done - period - and for being so giving in the process. You've been a wonderful asset across this board, regardless of plan or problem; thank you for sharing your journey with us all.
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I am 31 years old..I started doing this last Sept. and fell off the "wagon" during last Christmas...and look..a year has passed since then, and i have done NOTHING> It is so depressing! I hope to start again..in January...(next week) I need so so much support!
devandmarsmommy~aol.com |
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