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starchile Tue, Jan-29-02 11:35

Top Reasons of why it sux 2 B FAT!
OK, I just have to vent here for a moment.

I need to express some things that embarrass me about being my size. Some of it is my problem but some of the blame goes to our society for not recognizing that not everyone is a size 6 and that PISSES me off!

So here are my top reasons why it Sux to be Fat! What are YOURS???

1. My clothes are WAAAAAYYY more expensive than the smaller sizes. Sure we need more material but $20 worth?

2. Can't fit into some chairs with arms.

3. The thought of having to get on an Airplane is terrifying. "Will I be able to fit in the seat?" "Will I be able to buckle the damned Seatbelt?".

4. Can't go out shopping at the same stores as friends. Have to go to specialty section or specialty stores.

5. Walking past a window or mirror is a harrowing experience.

6. Can't get on Rollercoasters. The embarrassment of the safety bar not fitting over me and having 3 workers trying to push it down is enough to send anyone to a stiff drink and a shotgun!

7. One Word! CELLULITE!

8. Folding laundry in a public place and worrying that everyone will see my big huge underwear.

9. Feeling uncomfortable with my partner b/c of my size during sex.

10. Being somewhere and realizing that I'm the biggest person in the room.

11. Not being able to get on the Gondolah in Vegas with my friends b/c I almost meet the maximum weight BY MYSELF!

12. Looking at thin women and thinking that their lives must be so much easier than mine b/c they don't have all of the above issues to worry about.

WHEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! It had to be said! But I know that I'm a wonderful person with many accomplishments under my belt. I know that my size does not constitute who I am. I am beautiful and deserve to be loved no matter if I never lose another pound. I love myself and it's up to everyone else to decide whether they want to be a part of this love or to be shallow and be without my love.

This is something I can do for myself to put the icing on the is not the cake!! I'm already the cake!!!

Yeaaahhhhh, TESIA!!!!

Ryan44221 Tue, Jan-29-02 11:43

I hate the strech marks that i gained along with 102 lbs.....grrrrr

Lessara Tue, Jan-29-02 11:49

Good for you!
I think some of us, I count myself in that group, work so hard to not talk negatively about being fat that we lose sight about the realities till they slam us in the face. I actually chuckled at what I read, I know what you mean!
Why I hate being fat:
1. Having to trouble people when they try to pass me in an asle at the store or at work due to my big size.

2. Getting bruses on my hips after going to the Movies due to their seats! :rolleyes:

3. Having to pick up something that fell on the floor and I bend over to pick it up... What a view, huh? :D

4. Can't take a shower with an other person :(
Heck can't even take a bath on my own, without splitting the
water in two!

5. Shees.. I would love to get a WOmen's shoe size!

6. Having to put Anti-Persirant under the stomach. Eeww!


mattoman01 Tue, Jan-29-02 11:57

I got one...

Having to listen to skinny folk talk about fat people with such disdain...


odd sock Tue, Jan-29-02 13:22

Some of my biggest HATES about being fat:

1. When you try to exercise or participate in a sport/activity, people look at you like you like you have no right to be there! :mad:

2. Clothes... BAD prices, BAD colours, BAD materials, BAD styles, that is IF you can find any! :mad:

3. Thin women in your group whining about how fat they are, making you feel as if you are an aberration! :mad:

4. Finding a BRA that fits! :mad: Sure, make 5000 bras for the flat-chested to appear to have cleavage, but try to find ONE larger size that doesn't look like it was designed by evil matrons in the 1940's??? :mad:

5. Being told, "...but you have such a pretty face." like it is the consolation prize for having a fat body! :mad:

6. Media personalities (or anyone, for that matter) who don't have a clue and feel so free to judge! :mad:

7. Being 'invisible'-- to shop staff, the opposite sex, people who think you'll cramp their style! :mad:

8. Assumptions that you are anything less than an intelligent, vivacious, sensual, active, productive, stable, responsible, and adventurous individual simply due to your size! :mad:

9. To hell with all the chairs that hurt your bottom, too small toilet cubicles, crammed-together tables, and tiny aisle seating! :mad:

10. The worst thing about being fat is the effect it can have on your self-esteem in thinking that you CAN'T do anything you set your mind to! :mad: :mad: :mad:

Phew!!!!!!!!!! :daze:
Ablution complete... vitriol gone.

What a great release! What a great idea!!!!!!

Now I can get on with it!


sylvie p Tue, Jan-29-02 14:13

I agree wholeheartedly with all of the reasons posted on why I hate being fat. The ones I can add to the list are:

- Hate feeling relieved when there's someone fatter than you in a room (how superficial is that?)

- Hate the fact that I've been living my life "on hold" until the day I finally lose weight (18 years and counting... how much more time do I have to lose?)

- And of course, never really being able to enjoy a day at the beach.

Sylvie P

TerrieP Tue, Jan-29-02 14:22

Agree with the above.

Here's some more:

1. Being embarrassed to look in the mirror at your own reflection.

2. Being embarrassed to look at your own reflection in a window as you walk by.

3. People constantly asking you if you are on a diet!!! (That's why I am not telling people this time around.)

4. Feeling embarrassed at the gym in front of all the skinny minnies.

BUT . . . now I put a twist on it and say:

1. Wow your face is looking thinner (even if no one else has noticed yet.)

2. You are looking better and better every day you choose this WOE.

3. Love people's reactions when I order a huge honker steak and they look embarrassed for me.

4. Feeling great about myself because I made it to the gym another day and am keeping the committment to myself, hell, half the skinny minnies are there for a social outing anyway.

starchile Tue, Jan-29-02 14:33

Thanks to everyone who posted so far on this topic!!! I too put a lot of time and energy into dispelling the myths but yeah, there are things that WE ALL deal with that can wear on us if we don't release it--the day to day prejudices and the effects they have on us.

SO THANK YOU for releasing some of that with me!!! I truly appreciate it! It makes me feel good, not only to know that I'm not alone, but that I brought up a topic that allowed you all to let off some steam!!!!

Peace and Balance to you all!!!


Lessara Tue, Jan-29-02 15:56

Got to add one more
This is why I hate being a fat woman as well...

Having people ask me if I'm pregnant! :rolleyes:

A thin me! Tue, Jan-29-02 16:17

What Irks Me!
Occassionally, you will see someone put on a "fat suit" so they are heavier. They want to experience what it is like to be heavy. Well, 3 hours in a suit is not the same as a lifetime of
ridicule!!! Plus, when they are done, they step out it and go on their lives.

If you are buying a gift for someone, whether it be candy, or lingerie - people look at you, like "whom" are you kidding.

How about the fact that heavy people are also invisible? Have you been in the store, and no one waits on you? What, they can't see me??


sunshine2 Tue, Jan-29-02 16:22

One of my most embarrassing moments was when a close family member of my husbands saw me at the store, and said "Oh, I didn't know you and Paul were expecting again", I wanted to die. First I was embarrassed, and she was equally embarrassed when she found out I was just fat!

I hate the styles they have for "fat" people, give me a break, we may be plus sizes, but we don't like wearing tents either. And, you skinny people, don't tell us how fat you are when your around us, fat is not 5'6" and weighing 135. And here is another one, just because we are fat, doesn't mean we eat all the time, I know a lady that barely eats, and is over 300 pounds, (trying to convince her to do the Atkins/PP now - so far no luck).

Anyhow, the biggest reason I hate being overweight is not because of anyone else, but because how I feel about myself, I want to have more energy, wear the "bikini", short dresses, etc. And, soon, with this WOE, I will be able to do that. :D

razzle Tue, Jan-29-02 17:14

These days, I think that the only reasons I ever disliked being fat were because of other people/"society's" judgements. I still felt fine, could exercise a lot, was the same person inside no matter what my outside looks like.

But study after study shows that (in the US at least) what odd sock said in #8 are true: people (both thin and fat ones!) assume that fat people are lazier, stupider, meaner, etc. than thin people. Fat people testifying in court are not believed as much; fat people are passed over for promotions; it's harder to find a good mate as a fat person; teachers assess fat children as having under their IQ scores and thin children as over theirs. Even studies with young children show that they have these prejudices by age 5!

The times in my life that I said, "I feel better in clothes (or 'having sex' or 'about myself') as a size 5," I meant, "I feel less self-conscious because I know other people are more approving of me."

For me, self-acceptance (no matter what weight I am) and losing weight to a reasonable and healthy and sustainable size go hand in hand. If I ended up a size 8 again, I'd still fight for fat acceptance! :thup:

lesleyc Tue, Jan-29-02 17:35

...and those public toilets that wedge the sanitary disposal container in beside the seat so when you sit down your thigh/bum is mashed up against the sanny container ...yuk!

not being able to cross your legs on an office chair in a meeting, so when you are in a meeting everone can look at your fat thighs splayed out on the chair

Photos that show a shiny puffy face

....roll on goal


starchile Wed, Jan-30-02 12:12

I forgot to add one that REALLY bugs me! The fact that I can't wear shorts b/c the friction of my thighs rubbing together causes them to ride up in between and then I have to do that funky walk-squat thing to release them!!!


TerrieP Wed, Jan-30-02 14:49

Having your picture taken!

Flintstone Wed, Jan-30-02 19:49

Starchile....thank you for the much needed "chuckles" today!!

The airplane is my #1...but you gotta enjoy the looks on people's faces as you walk down the aisle and you know they're praying that we don't have the seat next to them! I wonder if any of them every stopped to think how uncomfortable we are in those airplane seats?!

OMG..your picture on your profile.... you are a BEAUTIFUL woman and certainly not one to allow others to make you feel less than that!!

Whereas, I don't consider myself beautiful by any means....I am active, intelligent, fun to be around and very hard-working. If those that don't know me choose to make their own assumptions based on my weight....then to hell with them!!

We have to change how we see ourselves...before we can ever expect others to see us for the wonderful people we are!!

PS...I, too passed up the gondala in Vegas for the same reasons!! and still don't like pictures!!! (Small steps at a time).

merita41 Wed, Jan-30-02 21:07

This is a Great Venting Thread
OK Her's my two cents worth.
#1-Sitting with friends watching TV when one of those commercials comes on for that movie with Gweneth Paltrow where she puts a fat suit on,OMG, every time I felt completely humiliated.(or any of those other movies or tv shows where that happens)
#2- Ankles that swell
#3-Not being comfortable to sit at tables in restaurants and having to wait for a booth.
#4-Not fitting into the booth :D
#5-Buying something sweet in the grocery store and noticing someone shaking there head at me.(don't buy sweet stuff anymore)
#6-Riding in the back seats of cars,esp. 2 door cars.
#7-#1 again
#8-Someone pinching my cheeks and telling me what chubby cheeks I have.(I'm a women in her thirties not a baby)Why do people do things like that, I would NEVER do that to someone.
#9-Went into a clothing store at the mall just to look around and the clerk walked up to me and said (this a direct quote)"We don't have anything in this store to fit you", now I had not even said anything to her nor had I asked for help, she didn't know why I was in there I could have been shopping for someone else or a present or something.Never went back in there, never will.She actually said that to me, if anyone had told me that that had happened to them I don't know if I would have believed them.
#10-#1 again.And monica(of Friends) in a fat suit, No More of that stuff.

sylvie p Thu, Jan-31-02 10:17

Hey Starchile,

I've done the funky, walk-squat dance too I just didn't know there was an actual name for it. LOL Still chuckling as I repeat the name - funky, walk-squat. But it's definitely not attractive.

starchile Thu, Jan-31-02 11:05

Flintstone and Sylvie P!
I would PM to make my comments but I'm not quite allowed to yet sooooo....

Flintstone: Thank you for the compliments on my photo!! Ironically that pic was taken at my HEAVIEST but it's my fave picture!

Sylvie P: I think we just coined a phrase!! And/Or Created a new dance craze!! The Funky-Squat Walk Dance!!! NICE!

I'm glad that we are all able to laugh about these things that on an emotional and psychological level is really damaging. Thank you all for helping me heal!

Peace and Hugs!


aztovaalex Thu, Jan-31-02 11:43

one cure
I know this is an emotional vomit thread, but wanted to add a chuckle.

I have found that, no matter what my size or social status, if I wave a credit card in the air near a salesperson, I get some help! Walk into Needless Markup (Neiman Marcus) and give it a try. :D

Lessara Thu, Jan-31-02 11:47

Hi yet again
Are you talking about the chicken dance, like at weddings? If so, YOu are sooo brave!!

I remember going into Victoria Secrets a few Christmas's back to get a gift for my sister-in-law (at the time) and I was looking through pjs and a woman came up to me and said, "I'm sorry, but I noticed you looking through the clothing and I wanted you to know that we don't carry large sizes like yours in our store, we might have your size in our cataloge but I highly doubt it."
I turned so red and quickly left. So yes, I know you told the truth!

Why do people have to shame others?

starchile Thu, Jan-31-02 12:37

Merita and Lessara
Your stories make me SOOO angry!!!! :mad: HOW DARE THEY EVEN COME AT YOU LIKE THAT!!!

But you know what, that just shows their ignorance and downright insensitivity. I know that there's nothing anyone can say to ease the feelings of humiliation and embarrassment it sounds like you ladies experience, but I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Warm Hugs,

sylvie p Thu, Jan-31-02 12:47

My standard reply to anyone who makes a comment about my weight is:

"Gee, I can lose the weight but I'm afraid you'll always be ugly."

It usually makes me feel better.

upncomer Thu, Jan-31-02 15:03

I ditto everyone's comments, but one especially stands out for me...

I cannot STAND the way they made the "fat" Monica act on Friends. Friends is one of my favorite shows and when I saw Monica constantly eating and acting so stupid I feel embarassed as if it is being directed at me.

I mentioned this to my husband a while back and said that I wanted to write a letter to the show and voice my anger - haven't done it yet.

On a good note....I refuse to shop for clothes in regular stores anymore - almost all of my clothes come from QVC/HSN or online shopping through Junonia. I work in an environment that requires me to wear blazers and businesslike outfits. I feel really good when I get complimented on my clothes.

Being overweight most of my life, I have finally come to the point of loving myself for ME and not worrying about how others see me. My husband really helped me through a lot of my insecurity regarding my weight, and I will forever thank him for that.

Nowadays, if someone is so stupid as to give a negative comment concerning my weight, I actually laugh at them for being so ignorant.

OK, enough from me!!! :D

odinisgod Thu, Jan-31-02 15:15

I Love this Thread!
I think that a lot of you hit it right on. :)

It helps me to hear that a lot of you have the same concerns about being fat that I do. I know that some of these will be a repeat, but I should get these Top 10 off my chest too.

1. Airplane Seats
2. Having to ask for the extra seat belt strap when I finally do wedge my butt into one of those airplane seats.
3. Tiny Butt Arm Chairs
4. Restarants with Tight Booths
5. Movie Theater Seats
6. Only being able to enjoy roller coster parks through memory.
7. Having to be worried about being discriminated against when I interview for jobs that don't involve working at the big and tall store.
8. Limited sexual positions.
9. Getting the "I'm concerned about your health" speech from a family member.
10. Having to take 5 minutes to buckle my seat belt whenever I get into a friend's car.

Thanks all, and good luck.


wangeci Thu, Jan-31-02 15:35

Okay, I know I probably have 10 things to say
1. Bathing suits, bathing suits bathing suits, yuck

2. Sleeveless shirts another yuck

3. Plus size fashions that completey rip us off!!!!!!!!!!

4. My size 5'11", size 9 friend who complains of herself being fat
(her stomach is concave and she has six pack abs) what the
hell does that say about me huh??????????????

5. The lack of self esteem, even though I know I am beautiful
intelligent and very well liked.

6. Repeat #5 four more times.................................

Cindy :eek:

Mindyd Thu, Jan-31-02 15:50

Right On!
I agree with all of the ones mentioned above and I'd like to add one more - I have several guy friends - ones that I can talk quite openly with about anything - and what I hate is that they feel no remorse or shame to make lewd comments about some skinny woman in my presence - but obviously aren't as attracted to me 'cuz I weigh more.....and then go on to make comments about someone obviously smaller than me like "she'd be cute if her *ss weren't so big".....I hate to think about what they say about me when I'm not around.....rude!


merita41 Fri, Feb-01-02 13:36

My Add Ons
I just got back from the doctor and have a couple more.
#11-The nurse having to search around for the BIG blood pressure measuring thingy.
#12-When the lab assiatant takes my blood and puts the turniquet on and.. well ya'll know what that looks like :D
can't wait to go to the obgyn, I'll have more. :p

starchile Fri, Feb-01-02 13:55

OHhhhh, Merita!!! You just opened a whole OTHER can of worms!!!

Hospital Gowns!

The doctors blaming EVERY POSSIBLE ILLNESS YOU COULD EVER HAVE on being OVERWEIGHT!! Or as they like to call it: MORBIDLY OBESE!!!!!!!!!


"OMG! YOU are SOOO fat that you could just DROP DEAD at any second now!"

How ugly is that term!!???? We get NO LOVE!!!

Doctors asking me if I'd like information on weight loss pills!!! Without me even bringing any interest up in the first place!


Sorry I needed to lose it for a minute! I'm calm now.....

I love myself and I know that I'm capable of doing ANY thing regardless of my size.


John2001 Sat, Feb-02-02 14:45

My comments
Short list of what I always hated:

1- Expanding the seatbelt to the limit to buckel it

2-The roller coaster hold down bar (someone say this one and it struck home) a former girl friend almost fell out because she sat next to me, with same bar holding us down)

3-The clothes stores, having to covertly shop at "Big n Tall / Casual Male" type stores and pay twice the amount for the clothes. ($50-bucks for a pair of jeans, come on! )

4-Women that just glance at you and then whisper to their friends. Knowing you had no chance with them, not that I'd be interested in them, being that shallow anyway.
5- The legs rubbing when you walk so bad you chaffe by the end of the week in the summer.
6- Resterant booths - enough said

7- Any chair with arms. (Plastic lawn chairs!)

8- The comments you get: You're eating well...You don't look like you miss a meal.... etc.

9-The TV shows all having thin people being the most popular and daring and the bigger people always being the butt of jokes and more comic type than being the hero or main star. (The fat suit for a day one kills me, as someone said, "they" can take that suit off and resume their everyday life.)

10- Basically just what all of these things and many others do to our minds and how we live our lives in general. We are more like hermits, castouts and basically treat ourselves as bad or worse than others treat us. We are hardered on ourselves than they could ever be.

Ok, that's enough complaining for now.

Now that I have lost close to 100-lbs, there's a few things I dislike about this too.
1-Buying clothes every couple of months gets expensive.

2-Sitting on a wood chair or hard surface hurts my butt.

3-In the winter, I get so cold! Have to layer my clothes,

4-The number of people that keep saying, OMG! what happen to you! Are you alright? Are you sick, do you have cancer or something?

5- For me, the women that wouldn't even notice me or ever talk to me before, all talking and being all nicey-nice with me. *Tuff honey, you never noticed me before, I don't need you're type around me now.

Believe me, I not sure which is worse, as far as the comments. I feel like I'm on display, always have to explain how I'm losing, and basically have felt more selfconcious now, more than ever. Trust me, it's almost as hard on the other side too, once you've always been fat, it's weird the way people act around you, almost like their comparing thenselves to you now, rather than them just thinking how much better they are, compared to you. ;)

But we will all get to see what it's like one day. Stay with the program!
Stay commited! We will get there, together!

Cheers, John

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