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John2001 Wed, Feb-20-02 18:07

The Undiscovered Country - Life after loss
You are so right Tesia, with what you are saying.
Most (thin) people would be thinking now, what the heck are these people talking about? To them, their bodys are, what they are. They have never had to deal with such a deep topic, such as this. Me personally, I'm having a more difficult time understanding / dealing with this "mental" weight loss picture, then I did with the losing part.

I have been overweight most of my life. Never accepted it completely in my mind, but understood, this is basically, what I am. Now, with all this attention being drawn to me and on this subject, I am finding it very hard to fully understand who I am or are becoming, if you follow.

There's no guide book or class to take for how to live life. There's no course to take for being "in shape" after being out of shape for half your life.

I hope we find someone, who has the same feelings on this subject (being overweight - then lost it) that is floating around this forum, that can give us a better idea, of how the deal with / accept this in our minds. For me, I know it will be a while yet.

I find myself getting more upset with folks that are thin, and their comments, directed at overweight people. Now, not being the target of their attack, I hear it even more so and get so internally upset from listening to it. That's the only time I wish I had, before and after pictures, a copy of the Atkins book, along with every post, thread, sheet of information on me, to give to that person and show them, there is a great way to lose the weight and feel great while doing it. But I know, if someone had done that to me, I wouldn't of felt any better about myself in the end. Even a friend of mine, who is (hate to say it ) very overweight, has that look in their eye's of disbelief, now that they see how far I've come. I try so hard to get them to come with me on this journey, but they won't. The usual, "I can't live / eat like that" or "That's not living"(going without all those foods). I try and try to get they to understand the basic idea of this WOL, but I'd guess, their not ready for it yet.

Ok, I've diversed enough from the subject, we got away from, in the beginning of this thread. Just more stuff thats floating around in my mind.

Look forward to more talk and discussion on this subject. ( the excepting in the body image, that is )

Cheers, John

John2001 Wed, Feb-20-02 18:24

Sorry to lose you in what I was thinking. I think I lost my own meaning in the typing translation myself. :rolleyes: I think maybe she was seeing how the other gals were looking at me and comparing herself with them.

Also, forgot the tell you, she has an "eating disorder". It was explained to me as, she would get heavy and then diet like crazy / starve herself, till she was thin. Go back and repeat.
Says she has it under control now and goes to meetings 2-3 times a week. So my mind wanders to what she is thinking about myself. We have talked about how I have come to where I am now too.
Maybe we're to similar in our past weight gains/losses to be able to understand what each other is thinking and what will upset the other. (me and her)

Just more mind confusion.

Cheers, John

Erin4980 Wed, Feb-20-02 18:28

That's the only time I wish I had, before and after pictures, a copy of the Atkins book, along with every post, thread, sheet of information on me, to give to that person and show them, there is a great way to lose the weight and feel great while doing it. But I know, if someone had done that to me, I wouldn't of felt any better about myself in the end.

I hate to make the comparison, but it's like a drug or alcohol can't fix the problem. They have to be ready to do it for themselves. I have wanted to lose weight for years, but I couldn't until I really was ready. I have a friend that's very very heavy and she's always says that she wantd to do the atkins with me. I invite her over for dinner and give her recipes, but if she's not ready I can't make her stick with it.

I know that the topic of this thread kinda changed, whoops.


Erin4980 Wed, Feb-20-02 18:50

I got you now :thup: It sounds like you guys could find alot of support within your relationship. You sound like a great guy so I say go for it w/ her!!!

Good Luck,

Pete Wed, Feb-20-02 20:39

This is certainly an interesting thread and one that many readers can relate to. Its interesting what you go through when, as John describes it, you make it through your journey.

I don't know how many people have asked me how much my wife likes the new me. Its inevitible - one day I have a feeling I'm just going to let loose and just plant a left hook on the kisser of an unsespecting inquisitor. And that's one of the sad points in the whole thing.

I only realized the difficulty overweight people have in the last year or so when I "peaked" so to speak, never having been overweight when I was younger. It is an extremely revealing experience and makes you appreciate just how shallow people who don't know you can be. But what is more frightening is that it makes you realize just how influencial outward appearance can be, whether its warranted or not. That is something I've never fully appreciated until now.

On the lighter side, I've finally come to the end of being able to tailor all my suites. This is good and bad. On one hand, I get to go shopping (yet again) but I don't know if I have the courage to get rid of my old suits. Soon I'll be catching up to my wife in terms of closet space. So on that one, that's why being thinner (leaner for the body police) suks too!

Erin4980 Wed, Feb-20-02 22:24

Pete that's funny...
well the depleting closet space is funny. I had kept a lot of clothes from the pre-weight gain era, but when I put them on now my boyfriend looks at my me like I'm wearing something from the 1950s. I don't want to buy new clothes until I hit my goal...any new clothes in between (like now) b/c they won't fit later. I tried getting things altered before I went to the Bahamas over Christmas b.c I had NO summer clothes that fit. However, it was so expensive and now non of it fits me. I say enjoy the new clothes, you earned 'em.


Pete Wed, Feb-20-02 22:38

The 50's look
Yah, you know, when clothes look just a little loose, its fine, almost in vogue. When they're a little tight, they look awful. But when they're really loose, I end up looking like I found the damn things! They look down right flappy. Hey, there's another one-flappy clothes when you become thinner. Now that suks!

Okay, enough of that. Go Canada Go! (Olympic Hockey is on.)

starchile Wed, Feb-20-02 22:52

new thread topic!
Haha! Yeah, that's a good one for a new topic "top reasons it sux to lose weight"!

I have to say that I was dealing with that problem today in a BIG WAY!! I too, refuse to buy clothes until I'm closer to goal, so I've been miserable (in a good way) because all of my clothes look like they are drowning me! I keep putting new holes in my belt buckles, my socks keep falling down and for some reason I even feel like I'm sliding around in my shoes!! Do we lose weight in our feet too??? Not to mention all my jeans sag in the front and back!

Pete, what you said about looking like you "found" your clothes cracked me up!!! I know that feeling!


Pete Wed, Feb-20-02 22:59

Yep. My darn shoes don't fit either! I bought two new pairs and began wearing my Tommy loafers that didn't fit quite right when I got them. At least I had some stuff that I hadn't worn in years. Okay, one more - getting thinner makes your shoes loose and you end up looking you're in clown school.

Pete Wed, Feb-20-02 23:17

Canada Wins!
Getting ready to play Belarus. Could be a Canada USA gold medal game! Now that would be great.

John2001 Thu, Feb-21-02 05:43

Loose clothes, belts, and shopping
I hear you all too. I had a dress belt that I just barely got into the first notch before this journey. I've gone thur all the holes and made another hole at the other end. Now it still is to big. Bought a new one. The jeans, don't get me started. I have complete sets from size 46, 44, 42, 40, 38, and 36 now. For some reason I'm still in disbelief of the fact I wore the 46's, even thou they look like a trash bag tied around me, if I were to put them on now.

Shoes, yes, they too seem like my feet are sliding around in them. At least with shirts, you can tuck them in more and get away with wearing them still! lol

It's funny, I had found a work shirt from 1987-88, back then I wore it unbuttoned and not tucked in, because it didn't look good(too small). Now it fits just right. Which reminds me, I have got to find my old suits and jackets from those days. Now thinking about it, they should fit again!

I had bought a few years ago for weddings and such events, but every time I went to wear them again, they were too small. Humm.....have to hunt thru the closet.
I've always hated clothes shopping. (hey, I'm a guy) Only went once a year and bought all I needed. All these trips to the store this past year is crazy to me. Hate it and like it at the same time.

Cheers, John
PS: Thanks Erin, I hope my relationship works out too. Haven't dated anybody really in like 4years. I'm the kind of guy that doesn't "casual" date, just anybody, to go out. Got to have that something special in my mind, for them. OK, so I'm a little picky! ;) You and your BF sound like you've got a good relationship going. Keep it up, it's hard to find that now a days. I'm very happy for you 2.

offdawagon Thu, Feb-21-02 11:57

Word to the Wise!!!
This is really directed to the ladies, and PERHAPS some of the guys ;) In reference to your shoes, socks, belts, whatever being too big, but still holding out before purchasing anything new until you're sure you're at a holding point...that strategy will work fine with one exception : your underpants. If you foolishly choose to wear your undies several sizes too large and for secular or social reasons should have to also be wearing a dress, you are subjecting yourself to a potentially hazardous and humiliating situation. Public display of your new, slimmer, sleeker body with your ancient panties down around your ankles and you with, perhaps, your arms full or in a crowded line in front of a theater, will do nothing for your self esteem. I will not elaborate as to how I came to this knowledge. Just trust me on this one, girls...go buy you some new undies that fit securely. :rolleyes:

gracie-poo Thu, Feb-21-02 12:13

vicki's secret
Oh so true offdawagon! LOL

There has been no greater shopping joy for me than walking into Victorias Secret and buying size medium thongs, and looking good in them. I've always been told I had a nice bum, and there's something about pretty underwear that makes me dance around the mirror in a spurt of vanity.

My mirror dancing episodes have been happening more and more :D ! My boyfriend is starting to think I've got the ego of a diva!


Mindyd Thu, Feb-21-02 12:16

Changing sizes....
The sad thing is, right before I began this WOL, I did a major clean out of my closet (I really needed to....) and got rid of a lot of clothes that I was sure I would never fit into again - I had resolved myself to the "myth" that I wouldn't be able to find a way to lose the weight that had crept on over the last 6 - 7 years....

So now I'm swimming in my current clothes - I have a few pieces that are one size down that I am now getting use of, but it's not going to be long before I'm out of husband keeps asking if I want to take some things to a local seamstress, but I'm a clothes horse and I just want to yell, "NO!!!!! I WANT NEW CLOTHES! I'VE WORKED HARD FOR THIS AND I'VE EARNED IT!" He's also lost weight following this WOE, but being a guy, doesn't care about clothes as much and is quite content to have things taken do I tell him tactfully to drop that subject? I suppose I can appease him and have a few of my nicer things taken in - but for the most part I've been giving away things to my friend (who introduced me to this WOE) who started a bit bigger than me and is following me on the way down....she's now in the sizes I started in, so she's getting sort of a "new-used" wardrobe.....

Mindyd Thu, Feb-21-02 12:19

P.S. I forgot this....
For those of you who bowl, you'll understand my dilemma of having to put about 10 pieces of tape in the finger and thumb holes in order to hold on to the ball!!!!! It's expensive to get them plugged and re-drilled, so I don't want to do that until I get closer to goal - but boy, will that be fun.....the guy who had to plug and drill them out bigger as I was on the way up is a guy that I used to date (in what seems like a previous lifetime) and he was such a jerk when it came to weight....if you aren't a trim, perfect size 8, he wasn't interested.....I may not get down that small, but I'm gonna be darn close.......too bad turkey - you can't have me now!!!!! I found a real man who appreciates me for me - regardless of size......

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