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Flintstone Wed, Jan-30-02 19:49

Starchile....thank you for the much needed "chuckles" today!!

The airplane is my #1...but you gotta enjoy the looks on people's faces as you walk down the aisle and you know they're praying that we don't have the seat next to them! I wonder if any of them every stopped to think how uncomfortable we are in those airplane seats?!

OMG..your picture on your profile.... you are a BEAUTIFUL woman and certainly not one to allow others to make you feel less than that!!

Whereas, I don't consider myself beautiful by any means....I am active, intelligent, fun to be around and very hard-working. If those that don't know me choose to make their own assumptions based on my weight....then to hell with them!!

We have to change how we see ourselves...before we can ever expect others to see us for the wonderful people we are!!

PS...I, too passed up the gondala in Vegas for the same reasons!! and still don't like pictures!!! (Small steps at a time).

merita41 Wed, Jan-30-02 21:07

This is a Great Venting Thread
OK Her's my two cents worth.
#1-Sitting with friends watching TV when one of those commercials comes on for that movie with Gweneth Paltrow where she puts a fat suit on,OMG, every time I felt completely humiliated.(or any of those other movies or tv shows where that happens)
#2- Ankles that swell
#3-Not being comfortable to sit at tables in restaurants and having to wait for a booth.
#4-Not fitting into the booth :D
#5-Buying something sweet in the grocery store and noticing someone shaking there head at me.(don't buy sweet stuff anymore)
#6-Riding in the back seats of cars,esp. 2 door cars.
#7-#1 again
#8-Someone pinching my cheeks and telling me what chubby cheeks I have.(I'm a women in her thirties not a baby)Why do people do things like that, I would NEVER do that to someone.
#9-Went into a clothing store at the mall just to look around and the clerk walked up to me and said (this a direct quote)"We don't have anything in this store to fit you", now I had not even said anything to her nor had I asked for help, she didn't know why I was in there I could have been shopping for someone else or a present or something.Never went back in there, never will.She actually said that to me, if anyone had told me that that had happened to them I don't know if I would have believed them.
#10-#1 again.And monica(of Friends) in a fat suit, No More of that stuff.

sylvie p Thu, Jan-31-02 10:17

Hey Starchile,

I've done the funky, walk-squat dance too I just didn't know there was an actual name for it. LOL Still chuckling as I repeat the name - funky, walk-squat. But it's definitely not attractive.

starchile Thu, Jan-31-02 11:05

Flintstone and Sylvie P!
I would PM to make my comments but I'm not quite allowed to yet sooooo....

Flintstone: Thank you for the compliments on my photo!! Ironically that pic was taken at my HEAVIEST but it's my fave picture!

Sylvie P: I think we just coined a phrase!! And/Or Created a new dance craze!! The Funky-Squat Walk Dance!!! NICE!

I'm glad that we are all able to laugh about these things that on an emotional and psychological level is really damaging. Thank you all for helping me heal!

Peace and Hugs!


aztovaalex Thu, Jan-31-02 11:43

one cure
I know this is an emotional vomit thread, but wanted to add a chuckle.

I have found that, no matter what my size or social status, if I wave a credit card in the air near a salesperson, I get some help! Walk into Needless Markup (Neiman Marcus) and give it a try. :D

Lessara Thu, Jan-31-02 11:47

Hi yet again
Are you talking about the chicken dance, like at weddings? If so, YOu are sooo brave!!

I remember going into Victoria Secrets a few Christmas's back to get a gift for my sister-in-law (at the time) and I was looking through pjs and a woman came up to me and said, "I'm sorry, but I noticed you looking through the clothing and I wanted you to know that we don't carry large sizes like yours in our store, we might have your size in our cataloge but I highly doubt it."
I turned so red and quickly left. So yes, I know you told the truth!

Why do people have to shame others?

starchile Thu, Jan-31-02 12:37

Merita and Lessara
Your stories make me SOOO angry!!!! :mad: HOW DARE THEY EVEN COME AT YOU LIKE THAT!!!

But you know what, that just shows their ignorance and downright insensitivity. I know that there's nothing anyone can say to ease the feelings of humiliation and embarrassment it sounds like you ladies experience, but I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Warm Hugs,

sylvie p Thu, Jan-31-02 12:47

My standard reply to anyone who makes a comment about my weight is:

"Gee, I can lose the weight but I'm afraid you'll always be ugly."

It usually makes me feel better.

upncomer Thu, Jan-31-02 15:03

I ditto everyone's comments, but one especially stands out for me...

I cannot STAND the way they made the "fat" Monica act on Friends. Friends is one of my favorite shows and when I saw Monica constantly eating and acting so stupid I feel embarassed as if it is being directed at me.

I mentioned this to my husband a while back and said that I wanted to write a letter to the show and voice my anger - haven't done it yet.

On a good note....I refuse to shop for clothes in regular stores anymore - almost all of my clothes come from QVC/HSN or online shopping through Junonia. I work in an environment that requires me to wear blazers and businesslike outfits. I feel really good when I get complimented on my clothes.

Being overweight most of my life, I have finally come to the point of loving myself for ME and not worrying about how others see me. My husband really helped me through a lot of my insecurity regarding my weight, and I will forever thank him for that.

Nowadays, if someone is so stupid as to give a negative comment concerning my weight, I actually laugh at them for being so ignorant.

OK, enough from me!!! :D

odinisgod Thu, Jan-31-02 15:15

I Love this Thread!
I think that a lot of you hit it right on. :)

It helps me to hear that a lot of you have the same concerns about being fat that I do. I know that some of these will be a repeat, but I should get these Top 10 off my chest too.

1. Airplane Seats
2. Having to ask for the extra seat belt strap when I finally do wedge my butt into one of those airplane seats.
3. Tiny Butt Arm Chairs
4. Restarants with Tight Booths
5. Movie Theater Seats
6. Only being able to enjoy roller coster parks through memory.
7. Having to be worried about being discriminated against when I interview for jobs that don't involve working at the big and tall store.
8. Limited sexual positions.
9. Getting the "I'm concerned about your health" speech from a family member.
10. Having to take 5 minutes to buckle my seat belt whenever I get into a friend's car.

Thanks all, and good luck.


wangeci Thu, Jan-31-02 15:35

Okay, I know I probably have 10 things to say
1. Bathing suits, bathing suits bathing suits, yuck

2. Sleeveless shirts another yuck

3. Plus size fashions that completey rip us off!!!!!!!!!!

4. My size 5'11", size 9 friend who complains of herself being fat
(her stomach is concave and she has six pack abs) what the
hell does that say about me huh??????????????

5. The lack of self esteem, even though I know I am beautiful
intelligent and very well liked.

6. Repeat #5 four more times.................................

Cindy :eek:

Mindyd Thu, Jan-31-02 15:50

Right On!
I agree with all of the ones mentioned above and I'd like to add one more - I have several guy friends - ones that I can talk quite openly with about anything - and what I hate is that they feel no remorse or shame to make lewd comments about some skinny woman in my presence - but obviously aren't as attracted to me 'cuz I weigh more.....and then go on to make comments about someone obviously smaller than me like "she'd be cute if her *ss weren't so big".....I hate to think about what they say about me when I'm not around.....rude!


merita41 Fri, Feb-01-02 13:36

My Add Ons
I just got back from the doctor and have a couple more.
#11-The nurse having to search around for the BIG blood pressure measuring thingy.
#12-When the lab assiatant takes my blood and puts the turniquet on and.. well ya'll know what that looks like :D
can't wait to go to the obgyn, I'll have more. :p

starchile Fri, Feb-01-02 13:55

OHhhhh, Merita!!! You just opened a whole OTHER can of worms!!!

Hospital Gowns!

The doctors blaming EVERY POSSIBLE ILLNESS YOU COULD EVER HAVE on being OVERWEIGHT!! Or as they like to call it: MORBIDLY OBESE!!!!!!!!!


"OMG! YOU are SOOO fat that you could just DROP DEAD at any second now!"

How ugly is that term!!???? We get NO LOVE!!!

Doctors asking me if I'd like information on weight loss pills!!! Without me even bringing any interest up in the first place!


Sorry I needed to lose it for a minute! I'm calm now.....

I love myself and I know that I'm capable of doing ANY thing regardless of my size.


John2001 Sat, Feb-02-02 14:45

My comments
Short list of what I always hated:

1- Expanding the seatbelt to the limit to buckel it

2-The roller coaster hold down bar (someone say this one and it struck home) a former girl friend almost fell out because she sat next to me, with same bar holding us down)

3-The clothes stores, having to covertly shop at "Big n Tall / Casual Male" type stores and pay twice the amount for the clothes. ($50-bucks for a pair of jeans, come on! )

4-Women that just glance at you and then whisper to their friends. Knowing you had no chance with them, not that I'd be interested in them, being that shallow anyway.
5- The legs rubbing when you walk so bad you chaffe by the end of the week in the summer.
6- Resterant booths - enough said

7- Any chair with arms. (Plastic lawn chairs!)

8- The comments you get: You're eating well...You don't look like you miss a meal.... etc.

9-The TV shows all having thin people being the most popular and daring and the bigger people always being the butt of jokes and more comic type than being the hero or main star. (The fat suit for a day one kills me, as someone said, "they" can take that suit off and resume their everyday life.)

10- Basically just what all of these things and many others do to our minds and how we live our lives in general. We are more like hermits, castouts and basically treat ourselves as bad or worse than others treat us. We are hardered on ourselves than they could ever be.

Ok, that's enough complaining for now.

Now that I have lost close to 100-lbs, there's a few things I dislike about this too.
1-Buying clothes every couple of months gets expensive.

2-Sitting on a wood chair or hard surface hurts my butt.

3-In the winter, I get so cold! Have to layer my clothes,

4-The number of people that keep saying, OMG! what happen to you! Are you alright? Are you sick, do you have cancer or something?

5- For me, the women that wouldn't even notice me or ever talk to me before, all talking and being all nicey-nice with me. *Tuff honey, you never noticed me before, I don't need you're type around me now.

Believe me, I not sure which is worse, as far as the comments. I feel like I'm on display, always have to explain how I'm losing, and basically have felt more selfconcious now, more than ever. Trust me, it's almost as hard on the other side too, once you've always been fat, it's weird the way people act around you, almost like their comparing thenselves to you now, rather than them just thinking how much better they are, compared to you. ;)

But we will all get to see what it's like one day. Stay with the program!
Stay commited! We will get there, together!

Cheers, John

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