razzle
Sun, Jun-23-02, 13:49
This is not the success story many of you might want to hear. But it is, in my opinion, the best sort of success. My original goal weight was 149, and I've kept raising it, so that now the goal simply matches what I am.
I began LCing with more of a zone-type approach, at 204 pounds and wearing size 20-22. I lost 14 pounds in five or six weeks, stalled for nine weeks, read PP, dropped my carbs to a grain- and sugar-free 35-45 ECCs, and lost a pound a week for 16 more weeks. Then, frustrated with what I thought was a slow loss, I tried a CKD, which was a complete disaster for me, in terms of weight and behavior, and I gained eight pounds or so back over five weeks. Since then, I have continued to LC, but have stayed in that range, 169-177, for almost a year. I'm a 5'6" woman, 47 years old, and for most of that time, my body fat percentage has been in the mid-20's. I lift weights hard three times a week (full body, tho I used to do a 2/2 split), I walk or run or bike or dance every morning for 30-60 minutes, I garden and clean house, and I do the occasional longer mountain hike.
There were horrible times of frustration for me. The fashion world told me I should be thinner. I was doing LC 'right,' so why wasn't I getting thinner? Wahhhhhh, poor me! I'm not sure why I calmed down and shifted my focus, but I did.
So my success story, I think is something quite different than "I lost 50 miracle pounds of ugly me on miracle LC diet!" It is the story of a woman coming to terms with her own beautiful body, the body that Mother Nature gave her and who sees even her fat as lovely.
I've read all the LC books (and right now prefer Schwarzbein and believe the principles of Neanderthin/paleo, though I myself eat cheese and butter cuz I like them), but the more important books I've read this year are on body image, overcoming emotional eating, and codependence. I realized this year that my life of eating disorders has ranged from compulsive overeating to anorexia (I was 118-121 pounds in my late 20's, a weight I only maintained by staying on a 500 calorie per day diet for years) to bulimia (I once exercised 3.5 hours per day until hobbled by injury). And these EDs all had the same root: I did not wholly like myself. That I projected that dislike onto my body was a trick, a sleight of hand. The real failing was in my heart and spirit; thinking my body was anything other than glorious was a flailing attempt to not address the core issues of my life.
This summer, I'm going through all my boxes of old size 5's and 7's, donating to the local women's shelter and putting the nice clothes on consignment. I'm also getting rid of anything a size 16 or over. I don't think I'll ever be those sizes again. I'm buying flattering, sensual classic clothing (on sale) in my size--12--and hanging onto the 9/10s, which are close to fitting, because I think it's possible that another year lived binge and scale-obsession free might see me lose another size. If not, no big deal. I'm wonderful the way I am. I'm also fine if my weight increases by ten pounds and me to a size 14 (I'll hang on to those clothes, too). I hope I'd be fine if the natural size of the body the Universe gave me were a size 28. And you know what? People respond to that self-love. I glow. Folks tell me they think I'm only 27 (not 47), & a 24-year old guy flirted with me last night. It ends up no one else worth bothering with cares about that size 5 crap either! Imagine that!
I credit LCing, though, with starting me on this journey. Sugar, chocolate, and gluten grains are foods I'm apparently allergic to--they create wild cravings for more and leave me tired at night, hungover the next morning. I don't prohibit them, but I buy sugar in tiny quantities rarely, or I eat grains only when I'm caught off-guard and am hungry, but without guilt. I choose instead to eat whole foods only, loads of veggies, everything as organic as I can afford to buy, mostly local foods. I eat when I'm hungry and I stop when I'm full. I no longer apologize for loving food, and I enjoy its sensual delights, just as I enjoy the delight of sitting in the sun or soaking in a hot bath or smelling the roses in bloom.
I'm done with dieting, and I'm done with hating myself for not being some silly thing other people tell me to be, whether that's a size 5 or any other thing that is not truly me.
This is a profound sort of success. Had someone told me a year ago that I'd not lose another ounce but would feel a glow of completion and self-love like this, I'd have thought they were nuts, I suppose. But here I am, joyous and beyond grateful.
This is success.
I began LCing with more of a zone-type approach, at 204 pounds and wearing size 20-22. I lost 14 pounds in five or six weeks, stalled for nine weeks, read PP, dropped my carbs to a grain- and sugar-free 35-45 ECCs, and lost a pound a week for 16 more weeks. Then, frustrated with what I thought was a slow loss, I tried a CKD, which was a complete disaster for me, in terms of weight and behavior, and I gained eight pounds or so back over five weeks. Since then, I have continued to LC, but have stayed in that range, 169-177, for almost a year. I'm a 5'6" woman, 47 years old, and for most of that time, my body fat percentage has been in the mid-20's. I lift weights hard three times a week (full body, tho I used to do a 2/2 split), I walk or run or bike or dance every morning for 30-60 minutes, I garden and clean house, and I do the occasional longer mountain hike.
There were horrible times of frustration for me. The fashion world told me I should be thinner. I was doing LC 'right,' so why wasn't I getting thinner? Wahhhhhh, poor me! I'm not sure why I calmed down and shifted my focus, but I did.
So my success story, I think is something quite different than "I lost 50 miracle pounds of ugly me on miracle LC diet!" It is the story of a woman coming to terms with her own beautiful body, the body that Mother Nature gave her and who sees even her fat as lovely.
I've read all the LC books (and right now prefer Schwarzbein and believe the principles of Neanderthin/paleo, though I myself eat cheese and butter cuz I like them), but the more important books I've read this year are on body image, overcoming emotional eating, and codependence. I realized this year that my life of eating disorders has ranged from compulsive overeating to anorexia (I was 118-121 pounds in my late 20's, a weight I only maintained by staying on a 500 calorie per day diet for years) to bulimia (I once exercised 3.5 hours per day until hobbled by injury). And these EDs all had the same root: I did not wholly like myself. That I projected that dislike onto my body was a trick, a sleight of hand. The real failing was in my heart and spirit; thinking my body was anything other than glorious was a flailing attempt to not address the core issues of my life.
This summer, I'm going through all my boxes of old size 5's and 7's, donating to the local women's shelter and putting the nice clothes on consignment. I'm also getting rid of anything a size 16 or over. I don't think I'll ever be those sizes again. I'm buying flattering, sensual classic clothing (on sale) in my size--12--and hanging onto the 9/10s, which are close to fitting, because I think it's possible that another year lived binge and scale-obsession free might see me lose another size. If not, no big deal. I'm wonderful the way I am. I'm also fine if my weight increases by ten pounds and me to a size 14 (I'll hang on to those clothes, too). I hope I'd be fine if the natural size of the body the Universe gave me were a size 28. And you know what? People respond to that self-love. I glow. Folks tell me they think I'm only 27 (not 47), & a 24-year old guy flirted with me last night. It ends up no one else worth bothering with cares about that size 5 crap either! Imagine that!
I credit LCing, though, with starting me on this journey. Sugar, chocolate, and gluten grains are foods I'm apparently allergic to--they create wild cravings for more and leave me tired at night, hungover the next morning. I don't prohibit them, but I buy sugar in tiny quantities rarely, or I eat grains only when I'm caught off-guard and am hungry, but without guilt. I choose instead to eat whole foods only, loads of veggies, everything as organic as I can afford to buy, mostly local foods. I eat when I'm hungry and I stop when I'm full. I no longer apologize for loving food, and I enjoy its sensual delights, just as I enjoy the delight of sitting in the sun or soaking in a hot bath or smelling the roses in bloom.
I'm done with dieting, and I'm done with hating myself for not being some silly thing other people tell me to be, whether that's a size 5 or any other thing that is not truly me.
This is a profound sort of success. Had someone told me a year ago that I'd not lose another ounce but would feel a glow of completion and self-love like this, I'd have thought they were nuts, I suppose. But here I am, joyous and beyond grateful.
This is success.