Overwhelmed

[DuPont]

I'm feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated. My daughter (7 yo) told me I don't love her cause we don't spend enough time together. She broke my heart. I have never felt like I was a good mother, and now she's confirmed my fears. I don't know what to do. I just want to cry.. but I need to do something now, so I don't let this spiral out of control into a depression.

[agonycat]

At least your daughter is mature enough to tell you, and at least she loves you enough to WANT to spend time with you!

Use this to YOUR advantage! Why be depressed over it? Your daughter misses you, and wants to spend time with you. She is reaching out, so take hold of it. You should treasure her young years because as she gets older it changes.

Go buy one of those jigsaw puzzles and spend the weekend with her putting it together and frame it or something ;) Treasure the moment, for it's the only one we get in life.

And I am sure if you were really as bad a mother as you think you are she wouldn't want anything to do with you. Think about that. You are doing a great job if she wants to spend time with you!

[Cinderella]

I agree!! YOu lucky thing you!!

Rent movies
go for a nice long lunch
go for a walk
I take my kids to Dairy Queen...we all grab milk shakes(not me anymore..lol)...and we drive all over town looking at houses, cool yards, junky yards...we spy on everyone!...hehehe

Once in a while my daughter tells me we don't spend enough time together...we do linch..then we drive around and chat.

Have fun!!

hugs..Cin :wave:

[fiona]

A lot of women would react exactly as you have done. Internalise it and blame themselves. It is what we instinctively do. Of course you feel hurt. :bhug:

But we are also caring and loving - mothers especially. You know it too - no wonder you feel unappreciated. Perhaps all you need to do is carry on doing what you are doing already but just change course a little bit.

How about involving her in whatever you are doing so that she CAN participate to some small extent. If you are both cooking - perhaps it will be slower - but you will be together, which is what she really wants.

It will pass Du Pont - and you will probably be grateful that she helped you to realise that she feels neglected - in time for you to do something about it. Remember her FEELING that you don't love her is a far cry from the reality. You KNOW how much you really love her even if all the pressures on you sometimes make it difficult for you to show her.

:rheart:

Take care.

[DuPont]

Thank you all for your suggestions and support.