Is it rude to take your food/desert with you?

[freckles]

I am attending a catered business luncheon on Thursday. There are plenty of on plan foods on the menu and I am confident that I can make it through the meal with no problems. There will be desert items and I know all my co-workers (who are also good friends) will be indulging. Would it be rude for me to bring my own desert? Say a piece of cheesecake? Now, I know I could do without it and likely won't actually take anything (well, depending on the responses here....might be a good experiment ;) ).

I'm just curious about the etiquette in this and similar situations.

What about a b-day party or other similar function (like, say, a Super Bowl party)? Would it depend on who invited? I'm specifically talking about functions where the guests aren't expected to bring anything.

Just interested in what other people think.

[WereBear]

If it's a party with friends, I often volunteer to bring dessert; the tricky part of the meal for me, usually. It's no different from bringing a bunch of flowers or a glass of wine.

In fact, I get a big kick of how people love the food I eat all the time. It's a little nudge about what Atkins really is about.

As far as the business luncheon goes, why not bring a slice of cheesecake? If you feel self-conscious, ask if something is gluten free (if the desserts have flour in them) and you're covered.

It's nobody's business how you nourish yourself. I'm not going to get sick just to be polite!

[krystalr]

I guess it depends. If the lunch is in the office where you usually are, I wouldn't think twice about bringing something if I wanted. If it's somewhere else, like at a hotel confrence facility, restaurant, etc...then no. I would feel that was a bit off and I'd feel better just saying "I'm full" and not having a dessert.

If it's a party at a friends or whatever, no biggie. I'll bring something with me if I don't think there will be something I can have.

[Nancy LC]

When I was doing the Nutri/system diet, years and years ago, I used to bring my food with me everywhere. They encouraged us to do it. IMHO, it's fine. You just need to do what you must.

At the very least, put a low carb chocolate bar in your purse.

[Water Lily]

I bring my own food/condiments with me all the time. Nobody cares.

[Glendora]

I personally wouldn't do it. I'd just eat my cheesecake at home. :)

[ShesGG]

If it's a party with friends, I often volunteer to bring dessert; the tricky part of the meal for me, usually. It's no different from bringing a bunch of flowers or a glass of wine.

In fact, I get a big kick of how people love the food I eat all the time. It's a little nudge about what Atkins really is about.

As far as the business luncheon goes, why not bring a slice of cheesecake? If you feel self-conscious, ask if something is gluten free (if the desserts have flour in them) and you're covered.

It's nobody's business how you nourish yourself. I'm not going to get sick just to be polite!

Yeah, I bring something for everyone if I take that route. As for business meetings, forego dessert and order what you can have. We sometimes have vendors come in at lunchtime and bring sandwich lunches, pizza, etc. I bring my own. I'm not alone, others do it too.

[Nancy LC]

There is a lemon coconut macaroon recipe in Karen Barnaby's low carb gourmet book -- at least the version I have. They'd be very discrete to hide in your purse. :)

[Beacon]

I have brought my own food to lot's of things, including business meetings and seminars. I've lost any type of care related to this.

[abbykitty]

I guess it depends. If the lunch is in the office where you usually are, I wouldn't think twice about bringing something if I wanted. If it's somewhere else, like at a hotel confrence facility, restaurant, etc...then no. I would feel that was a bit off and I'd feel better just saying "I'm full" and not having a dessert.

If it's a party at a friends or whatever, no biggie. I'll bring something with me if I don't think there will be something I can have.

^^ Totally agree.

[Elizellen]

I would not hesitate to take a 'legal' dessert if I felt I would want to eat one.
Normally if I am attending a catered meal and there is the option of a cheese board I take some flax crackers or bread in my bag so I can ask for cheese and butter from the server and eat my crackers with it.

A slice of cheesecake is a good alternative if you have a sweet tooth.

Maybe first ask the caterer manager what desserts are being offered and see if there is anything you could eat without crossing your plan's line and if there is not then tell them you will be bringing your own dessert and would like some unsweetened cream to go with it!!

When I started induction in 2003 I was due to go to a big catered function and spoke to the manager the week before about what I was able to eat.

I found that on the night for each of the 7 courses (it was an 'Edwardian banquet' with buffet style service) the head waiter made sure I knew which dishes were suitable for my diet and they even had made 2 special dishes for me!!

[WereBear]

Heh heh; in my reply I said "glass of wine." Of course, I meant a "bottle of wine" as a hostess gift. And now that I've been quoted, I can't fix it. :lol:

I understand everyone having their own preferences about what they are comfortable with. I also see no reason, when friends are enjoying dessert and coffee, that we low carbers cannot join in too!

Discreetly taking a "legal" dessert serving out of a purse or pocket and joining in with the crowd makes us part of the gathering. It does not set us apart.

As every low carber well knows, the most conspicuous and uncomfortable choice in "treat" situations is not taking any! Since this is a politeness issue, which scenario works better to put people at ease?


Refusing dessert, maybe several times, and sit there toying with our coffee spoon while everyone else makes "yummy noises"?
Maybe having a different dessert from everyone else, but able to make happy faces and discuss favorites?


We low carb fans have enough trouble at social gatherings sometimes, because we so often move against the current of what everyone else is eating. But I never get this in a gathering where there are many food choices; I've found I only encounter it when there's one choice... and I don't take it. Even pizza parties are fine where I eat the toppings off the pizza and leave the crusts... some people leave part of the crust anyway, don't they?

What trips people's social radar is when we are not being a part of things. If bringing our own food would let us be more a part of things (and I think it does) fitting in is actually the more polite choice.

[RobLL]

It depends upon the business setting. Acceptable things at one level may not be at another.

[freckles]

I guess it depends. If the lunch is in the office where you usually are, I wouldn't think twice about bringing something if I wanted. If it's somewhere else, like at a hotel confrence facility, restaurant, etc...then no. I would feel that was a bit off and I'd feel better just saying "I'm full" and not having a dessert.

yeah...I think I'm going to end up going with this. It IS at a hotel and I think I'd feel too uncomfortable being so bold. I may take a slice of cheese cake and leave it in the car with a fork so I can eat it after if I really feel deprived. Maybe this will help me overcome any temptation during the meeting. I like the idea of something small and discreet too. Women are always pulling small pcs of candy/gum out of their purses....just not sure what...

I do have a few more days to think about it. The meeting was postponed because we're having icy weather again.

I like all the varied responses and I think I will be able to be more bold in some situations where I never thought I could. I'm fortunate that these situations don't come up too often for me, but they do come up and have derailed me in the past.

Here's another.....what if friends want to meet for desert somewhere? Do I need to learn to like coffee and just go with that? :lol: Movies are a whole nother thing....

[freckles]

What trips people's social radar is when we are not being a part of things. If bringing our own food would let us be more a part of things (and I think it does) fitting in is actually the more polite choice.

I agree with this. Sharing a meal with people is the ultimate in fellowship and I think it makes people uncomfortable when someone refuses to participate - even if it is due to health reasons. I think in most situations I would rather get over feeling self conscious and just bring my own if necessary. Asking here and getting these responses has helped me see that it is acceptable in many situations and I just have to do it. It's either that or wind up off plan and sick again...

[Fialka]

I have brought my own food to a training thing and there were endless questions. I didn't like the questions but I felt my food was so much better than the junky pizza they were offering (not even good enough to justify a cheat).

It should be noted that for later training, I ate what they ate. I guess the nosy questions got to me.

For casual family dinners, I sometimes bring my own meal to ensure I'm on plan. It depends.

Typically in your situation if there's cheesecake, I'll eat it and not worry about the incidental carbs.

F

[abbykitty]

The meeting was postponed because we're having icy weather again.


Here's another.....what if friends want to meet for desert somewhere? Do I need to learn to like coffee and just go with that? :lol: Movies are a whole nother thing....

Crazy about the weather, eh!!

If I'm really jonesing for dessert, I will just order a side of berries. Sometimes I get it with a side of whipped cream. Most restaurants have berries. Just an idea. Or yes, just get coffee. Maybe it's easier for me because I was not raised to have dessert after every meal so it's not a big deal for me not to have dessert - even if others are having it.

Movies, again, I rarely ever had junk at the movies so it's not a habit for me. But that's one occasion that I think everyone should sneak their snacks in because they are such a rip off. ;)

Sounds like it's a habit you might want to try to break altogether? Even low carb desserts are usually heavy on the calories and not so heavy on the nutrients.

Just my $.02.

[freckles]

Sounds like it's a habit you might want to try to break altogether? Even low carb desserts are usually heavy on the calories and not so heavy on the nutrients.

Just my $.02.

No desert habit here. I actually rarely eat sweets - even lc. I am, however, tempted to eat them when I'm around a lot of other people eating them and offering them, so I am trying to figure out before hand good strategies for overcoming those temptations.

These types of situations have been my downfall in the past....so I'm planning my attacks ahead of time instead being left dazed, confused, sick, and mad at myself for giving in.

I did not realize that most restaurants have berries! Would they be on the menu?

[abbykitty]

No desert habit here. I actually rarely eat sweets - even lc. I am, however, tempted to eat them when I'm around a lot of other people eating them and offering them, so I am trying to figure out before hand good strategies for overcoming those temptations.

These types of situations have been my downfall in the past....so I'm planning my attacks ahead of time instead being left dazed, confused, sick, and mad at myself for giving in.

I did not realize that most restaurants have berries! Would they be on the menu?

Good for you to plan ahead! I've never looked for them on the menu and maybe most restaurants don't have them. I only really do this at restaurants where others are having desserts, so I guess on reflection they're usually the nicer restaurants. Hey, can't hurt to ask!

[WereBear]

The original question was regarding a meal plan, where it didn't matter if the attendees ate something or not; it was paid for. Bringing one's own item in really doesn't matter to the venue, in that case. They are also not set up to provide for special requests in a banquet situation.

I do think restaurants are a different scenario; they sell food, and bringing in one's own is problematical. However, by the same token, they are more likely to be open to someone asking about berries and whipped cream; and more likely to be able to fulfill such a request.

The fact that you do not want sweets unless you are in a social situation means it really is wanting to "fit in" or "be normal" than it is cravings?

And there's absolutely nothing wrong with making some effort to do so; this is the foundation of festivity. Eating together is probably hardwired into us.

But it also seems like the pressure to do so... is coming from yourself. Which means it is easy to stop it.

If you give yourself permission to feel that way.

[freckles]

The fact that you do not want sweets unless you are in a social situation means it really is wanting to "fit in" or "be normal" than it is cravings?

And there's absolutely nothing wrong with making some effort to do so; this is the foundation of festivity. Eating together is probably hardwired into us.

But it also seems like the pressure to do so... is coming from yourself. Which means it is easy to stop it.

If you give yourself permission to feel that way.

I think it's a combination of both wanting to fit in and cravings - and the pressure probably is coming from me (in some instances). It's weird, but I can walk through the bakery at Kroger while they are baking something that smells delicious...look at all the goodies, and yet have no desire to eat any of it. But when I get together with the gals, I just want to have what they're having. It's not a strong desire.

At the board lunch a couple of weeks ago we were served frito pie and donuts. I had planned ahead and brought my own lunch and did bring an lc treat. I didn't have any <great> desire to have any of it. The other gals each ate half a donut and didn't try to get me to. It worked out fine. But those are the types of situations where I tend to make bad choices. I feel like I can keep from making those bad choices if I have an lc alternative available as back up, just in case I get an overwhelming desire.

Here's another example - meeting at a coffee shop. The gals usually get something sweet to go with their coffee or hot chocolate or whatever. The last time we met at a coffee shop I brought my own lc cheesecake (also had what I thought was a lc cold tea, but found out it wasn't lc). That night none of the other ladies got a treat, so my cheesecake was left untouched and went back into my freezer.

I just want to be ready with an lc back-up so I don't end up eating something off plan whether it's pressure from myself, pressure from someone else, or cravings.

[mirinblue]

I bring my own things all the time-everywhere I go. I do so discretely-just slipping the item on to the table very naturally without fan fare or fuss or comment. I have never experienced any funny looks, snide remarks or anything like that-in fact, what can seem so important to us in our lives often has no impact on others. I guess it's how you caarry it off...with aplomb...and without excuses or excess explanations.

[Elizellen]

:agree: So do I!
The only comments I have ever had have been interest in the food I have brought from my fellow diners and often a request for the recipe!!

[greenchill]

I think it's a combination of both wanting to fit in and cravings - and the pressure probably is coming from me (in some instances). It's weird..
My recommendation would you to just give up the taste for sweet. Ditch the dessert...the world will not end. Especially when you know you can do without it, why not??

Harsh reality follows:

Trying to fit in is NOT a virtue. Stand for what is good for you, what makes you feel best, what is right. It looks like your food habits are still at the mercy of somebody else's comfort, peer pressure, and cravings. Isn't the whole point of eating better is to break free of these?

That others are "uncomfortable" is irrelevant. I also wonder who are these people who are so shallow that they would be uncomfortable when someone says "No thank you." I hear it constantly, and I say it constantly - No thank you.

Why are we backing away from being confident, strong people? We teach kids to do what's right and withstand peer pressure, and then we don't do it ourselves?

Become empowered!

ETA: In terms of bringing actual food to events that don't cater to you, I say knock yourself out, but use discretion. I usually eat before I go to places I can't. When I socialise a lot with carb etaing folks....I stick to what I like, end of story. They respect me enough not to be jerks about it. And I eat only meat....

[leslie30]

when my friend was doing her diet it was very stict becasue it was low carb low fat and no sugar so if we ever had potlucks or whatever she would bring her own chicken and salad and to tell u the truth no one even noticed cus she was there and still part of it to we didnt care what she was eatting

[freckles]

I bring my own things all the time-everywhere I go. I do so discretely-just slipping the item on to the table very naturally without fan fare or fuss or comment. I have never experienced any funny looks, snide remarks or anything like that-in fact, what can seem so important to us in our lives often has no impact on others. I guess it's how you caarry it off...with aplomb...and without excuses or excess explanations.

Interesting. It never really occurred to me that other people probably wouldn't care one whit about it. :lol: I just need to be courageous, self confident and discreet. I can probably handle that. :) And reading about everyone else doing it is certainly making me feel more comfortable with the idea. Now I just need the opportunity to test it out and see how I do.

[mirinblue]

Interesting. It never really occurred to me that other people probably wouldn't care one whit about it. :lol: I just need to be courageous, self confident and discreet. I can probably handle that. :) And reading about everyone else doing it is certainly making me feel more comfortable with the idea. Now I just need the opportunity to test it out and see how I do.

See? Now you're rockin' it!!

[WeimieMom]

We can't go through life thinking about what other people may or may not think about us. I for one, would personally respect someone who stayed true to themselves and brought along food suitable for whatever reasons they may have. Those reasons could be anything from weight reduction programs, to food allergies, to diabetes.

Restaurants, banquet facilites (and even airlines) will accommodate special requests for vegetarians, gluten free, kosher, low fat etc, so why be concerned? Just do what feels right and forget about those people who just don't "get it".

That's my 2cents.

[WereBear]

Restaurants, banquet facilites (and even airlines) will accommodate special requests for vegetarians, gluten free, kosher, low fat etc, so why be concerned?

Indeed. It is a health issue, isn't it?

[Merpig]

We can't go through life thinking about what other people may or may not think about us. ROFL, as my mom always used to say to my sisters, "You wouldn't worry so much about what people thought about you, if you realized how little they thought about you at all." :D

[Nancy LC]

ROFL, as my mom always used to say to my sisters, "You wouldn't worry so much about what people thought about you, if you realized how little they thought about you at all." :D
Oh wow! That's an epic quote. It really is true. We imagine we're the center of attention far more than we truly are... except when we truly are the center of attention we probably have no clue. Like those times your skirt is stuck in the back of your panty hose. :lol: